<p>I think it is cute. I haven’t seen anything over the top. Our D’s boyfriend last year came over and spelled out Prom in Christmas lights in our back yard. One of her friends was asked by putting plastic cups on their chain link fence. Nothing over the top, but creative. Prom here is a couples thing but a lot of the couples go as friends. That is pretty much the norm for our area. The couples usually go with a larger group though.</p>
<p>It’s called a promposal, and it started a few years ago. My D saw some of it for her junior prom in 2009 (our hs only has a junior prom, no senior prom). Boys wrote Prom? in giant letters in chalk on the girl’s driveway, or waited by her car in the hs parking lot with flowers and a sign that said, “Prom with me?” A friend’s son inserted his proposal in a powerpoint he was giving for an assignment in the class with the girl (with the teacher’s permission in advance). </p>
<p>It was hard enough for my son to get up the nerve to ask a girl he had been assured would say yes (his friends and her friends had worked it out for them). I can’t imagine if he’d had to do something big and creative.</p>
<p>But kids here do also still go in groups of friends. A promprosal isn’t a requirement, but it is a big trend.</p>
<p>My D’s BF never actually asked her to prom, he just assumed they were going together. She teased him that she was going to go with one of his friends because he never bothered to ask her.</p>
<p>For S, he wanted to go but somehow it never happened. May be just as well because he was sick and in bed from the week prior thru the week after prom. </p>
<p>D and her friends go as a large group. Any boys attending have to get along with the other boys and girls, so they can all trade off in conversations. They get ready at one of two homes and are picked up in a limo with the group. </p>
<p>Prom always includes meal and snacks. After prom they all get dropped off by limo at one house and have a nice non-alcoholic party with the family of the hostess. After a while, all the boys are kicked out and the girls have a slumber party. Parents pick up the next day. </p>
<p>Have not heard about these elaborate PromPosals and am not a fan. D got asked via phone for one prom and asked a mutual to the other. It was fairly low stress.</p>
<p>Cute story.</p>
<p>DD was studying at the local Starbucks with a friend (LOTS of kids from school were there). </p>
<p>The boy who intended to ask her had come to the house first with a huge flower bouquet, and I had to let him know where she was. </p>
<p>He is a little crestfallen (he is a really sweet but kind of shy young man), but I give him huge props for changing his plan, driving over the the coffee shop, walking in flowers in hand and and asking DD in front of an audience. </p>
<p>DD said that all the HS girls in the Starbucks rushed over after and made a big fuss and complimented him, which I think made him feel good about doing it this way. DD was a bit embarrassed, but was glad the “ask” was classy.</p>
<p>Is this actually a trend? or just a few people doing this (I mean, relative to the whole country)?</p>
<p>They do it at my son’s high school. I echo everything that Steve said. Nothing crazy or costing tons of $$. Decorated cars and lockers…getting a friend to deliver the girl flowers…I think the most extravagant thing I heard of was a kid having a few t-shirts printed with “Got Prom Date?” and asking friends in her class to wear them. Of all the “disturbing trends” I’ve heard teens involved with, this isn’t even a blip on the radar.</p>
<p>soccerguy315 - try google images: promposal.</p>
<p>When I was a freshman, my then-boyfriend was a junior. He baked me cookies, wrote “prom with me?” On them and asked my last period teacher to deliver them to me. It was cute but unfortunately he turned out to be a dog and we broke up the week before prom. But the trend is big in my school, I know a kid who mowed “prom?” In huge letters across his lawn and his girlfriend saw it. I’ve heard a lot of similar stories but Ive forgotten them</p>
<p>Wow, I expected this thread to be about some date-rape drug or a horrible group prank that kids were doing after prom. Is a video to invite someone to prom more disturbing than the video supplements Tufts applicants spend weeks on in the hopes of admission?</p>
<p>My son did something cute for his girlfriend–he borrowed the letters P-R-O-M (and a blank tile that he wrote “?” on) from our Scrabble set and left one each day in different places where she would see it. He even had to coordinate with her parents to get into the house with the M. She thought it was great and he had fun doing it. I will just have to remember next time we play Scrabble which characters are missing.</p>
<p>ETA: Our school is very diverse in terms of socioeconomic status, and although some kids last year got limos and hotel rooms and whatnot, many (like my son and his friends) were completely low-key. They had their pictures taken by parents in a neighborhood park and wore (at least in our case) homemade corsages and boutonnieres. They drove their own cars downtown, went to a casual ethnic restaurant for dinner, attended the prom, and then went back to my son’s girlfriend’s house to watch movies until morning. No big deal, but they had a fantastic time.</p>
<p>Some moms from Denver told me at the exclusive schools even “Winter Dance” is pricey / prom-like. And prom has limos… and even sometimes helicopter transportation. Crazy!</p>
<p>I thought it was a bit much a few years ago, but DS1’s prom group (mostly friends but they paired up as ‘dates’ more for photo purposes) had a really fun time with it.</p>
<p>DS2 was going to fill his GF’s car with balloons and a note, but they broke up a few weeks ago and will attend as friends in a large group, so the pressure is off. Would have been cute though! :-).</p>
<p>They’ve started doing similar stuff even for homecoming here. That seems WAY too much.</p>
<p>Wow! We had trouble justifying chipping in for the group limo but a helicopter is way too much!</p>
<p>Son’s prom was last night. His girlfriend likes Nutella, so he used peanuts to spell out “Prom?”, which would be visible when she opened the jar. Easy peasy. I think some of these creative ideas can actually be easier than asking in person. </p>
<p>The best I’ve seen is when a group of four girls asked a group of four boys to a turnabout dance. All four boys are friends and live within a few houses of each other. We have a small triangular (100 sq foot) piece of land, in the middle of the road, where two roads merge, between the boys’ homes. The girls posted the invite on a tree on this “island”.</p>
<p>Limos are becoming pass</p>
<p>Groups go together but dates go too at our school. My D went with a group of friends last year. S, who was a sophomore, really wanted to go so he asked senior girls until one said yes. It is a junior/senior prom. I see more groups going as seniors than as juniors. Juniors who go always have a date. D only went as a senior. </p>
<p>S wants to go this year and asked someone on Thursday. He was going to ask one girl by writing “Prom?” inside a mug with a sharpie (apparently if you bake it at 350 for 20 minutes it becomes permanently permanent marker) and baking a mug cake in that mug. That girl was asked by someone else before he did it. He is asking the girl whose locker is next to his. He had Hershey’s kisses and some post it notes to spell out Prom? and was leaving them at her locker. He did it right before he left for a state competition. I don’t know whether she has let him know one way or the other yet. He’ll be home in a few hours.</p>
<p>My older son asked his date by having a custom ‘build a bear’ made with the sash on the bear reading “Prom?” It was cute and not over the top. It must have been a hit because he related that at least two of his teachers commented on it in a positive way…
Here in PA, like lafalum noted, prom includes dinner and the kids are pitching in for large buses to cut costs…</p>
<p>The “promposals” were the norm at my kid’s (private) high school and at the other rival (public) high school in our area. During my S’s senior year, he even involved the principal, who went into the girl’s classroom and asked her to come to the office where my S awaited with flowers/balloons and a prom proposal. I was shocked when I learned that not only the teacher but the principal agreed to be part of this ritual.</p>
<p>Party Buses are becoming more popular here. Personally, I would prefer if our kids took a limo or party bus because the prom site is 30 miles away. Dinner is on your own here so kids go out to dinner on their own then drive somewhere for photos and then off to the dance. When I was in high school we had prom at a hotel and the dinner was included with that. It’s about 50/50 around here schools that have dinner with prom and schools that don’t.</p>
<p>We had a foreign exchange student, and she and my daughter were part of a very nice circle of friends. When Prom came around, our Italian daughter got really into it and wanted to have the full prom experience. She went with a boy from their friend group, just as friends. One afternoon he arrived at my house when my girls were out and asked if he could go to her room (which, by the way, was a complete mess) and he decorated it with all kinds of Italian things including a pizza box which he had decorated and written the invitation inside. She was completely charmed and also horrified that he would now know just how much of a slob she was. I thought it was clever and sweet and not costly, as such things should be. My daughter also received a clever ask that year, also from a friend, but I can’t remember what it was, although it involved being woken up in the middle of the night, and singing and costumes. Not as big a fan of that one.</p>
<p>Sorry, OP, you are horrified by this and we all just ended up telling little stories. I will add that in the group of kids I mentioned, for every high school dance, including both proms, they attended as a group and there were always girls and a boy or two who were there without a “date”, including my daughter. I’m sorry for your neighbor, but I think it’s sad that she doesn’t have a group of friends that are welcoming, or that she feels awkward. I don’t think it is because some kids are doing these goofy ask outs. By no means do all kids do them, even in places where this is common.</p>
<p>I am really not offended by the little gestures, but the attention seeking , viral video, competitive nature of the invites. And also the trends that have shifted , making the socially awkward or chubby girls / boys left out.
I thought it was a lot more inclusive a few years ago, when it was okay for girls to go in a group if they didn’t have a date, or for kids to go with a friend.
My daughter has herself convinced that she will not be asked to the prom next year , though she doesn’t fit into the category of the misfits. She doesn’t think any of her friends with one exception will be asked</p>