DIY Wedding: The Details

<p>S! and DIL’s wedding celebration was last weekend. We survived! I am in the process of wading through the many pictures our friends and I took, and will have them on a Shutterfly site. </p>

<p>To recap, S & DIL had a civil ceremony last summer because she came into the US on a fiancee visa after her employer’s law firm screwed up her work visa. They had always planned to have the ceremony this summer, and so this was what they considered their “real” wedding where her dad and sister could attend.</p>

<p>Venue was a local arts facility (indoor because DIL can’t handle heat), DH and S2 did the cooking, I did massive DIY, colors were royal blue & silver, big splurge was a contradance band that played at UChicago. No videography, no showers, bachelor/ette, engagement parties, no limo/horses. Bride’s sister read from Terry Pratchett, S2 from Doctor Seuss.</p>

<p>We had 12-15 people staying at our house every night from 7/28 through 8/7. It was crazy, but they were close friends and relatives who were indispensable helpers. We had a corn shucking party, an Agricultural Collective Expedition to pick peaches, berries and veggies at the local PYO, enough cars to shuttle those who arrived by plane, and it was a hella good time. My nieces/nephews were enthusiastic and helpful throughout, and we had enough hands on deck that noone was too overworked. A big shout-out goes to CCer eddieodessa, who came down and helped with setup – and she has never even met me! I am so grateful and touched at her generosity.</p>

<p>Originally expected 60 guests, high end estimate was 80. We had 100. (!!!) </p>

<p>A few observations to start out:</p>

<p>1) Do research in advance. There were sites that had great stuff at cheap prices, but the shipping costs were horrendous. I had the most success with places that did not market specifically to the wedding industrial complex.</p>

<p>2) Get the creative stuff done well in advance. By the week prior, I was down to things that had to wait until things like menu ingredients, etc. were finalized. We did print production the last week. I started sewing in late March. I finished the tiara the night before the wedding. </p>

<p>3) If you are renting goods, COUNT EVERYTHING. We counted silverware, plates, tables, chafing dishes, but took it for granted that the labels on the linen bags were correct. Bad move. Take them out and check count and size. </p>

<p>4) Delegate. </p>

<p>5) It is a lot easier to decorate tables if all items for each table are in one box. I had copier boxes labeled with items for that table as well as a diagram for how to set it up. Makes it easy for anyone to grab a box and be useful.</p>

<p>6) Make lists. I had a 14 page master list, This did not include the lists-within-lists for craft projects, supplies, etc.</p>

<p>7) If you live in a major metro area, look a bit further afield for vendors. In our area, bakeries in Bethesda charge a fortune for cupcakes/wedding cake. One of the exercise physiologists at my cardiac rehab got married last fall and she told me about a place 20 miles north of us. The cupcakes were fantastic and half the price of Bethesda.</p>

<p>8) I got a few things from Etsy – was uniformly pleased with my purchases. Support creative artists!</p>

<p>9) Pinterest is wedding porn – but I got some great ideas for DIY.</p>

<p>10) The serving company we hired was worth every penny. They knew what they were doing and made it seamless.</p>

<p>11) People contradanced! I was so thrilled! I was worried that there would not be enough of a critical mass, but folks got out there. They also wore the silly hats! Some dressed up in Renn Faire costumes and other “dapper” clothes and looked marvelous. A few folks juggled, others plopped on the floor and played the games S had brought for the occasion, and folks got the many geek memes we had buried in the day’s events.</p>

<p>12) There were no disasters, things flowed well, both my kids made me cry with their toasts, people felt the love.</p>

<p>I am crossing my fingers that the photographer paid attention to the shot list, but I am not terribly optimistic. There were angles I saw him miss that I would have shot myself, but everyone talked me out of putting my camera down to be present in the moment. S and DIL viewed the photo shooting as more of a chore. Since it rained that day as well, there were no outside shots, and they didn’t want to go out with me to the state park the next day to take them. While they will probably be happy with the pics, I’m not sure I will be.</p>

<p>Fire away with questions - I’ll probably think of more stuff as I go along.</p>

<p>You are my hero! Now I have to look up contradance. Shout out to eddieO!!</p>

<p>PS Congratulations to the groom and best wishes to the bride!</p>

<p>Mazel Tov countingdown! You survived!! What I want to know is: How was your dress?!? ;)</p>

<p>Congrats to you on your child’s wedding and also on how you managed this enormous task. It sounds like it was a beautiful wedding and lived up to evryone’s expectations.</p>

<p>What was on the menu and how did your husband and son manage the cooking for 100 people?</p>

<p>It sounds like a wonderful experience for all concerned. So personal! So much fun!</p>

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<p>So true! The prices on those sites are outrageous, and in many cases all they are doing is reselling.</p>

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<p>This is a GOOD thing! :)</p>

<p>I’ll testify that CD looked AMAZING and her dress was perfect!</p>

<p>I attended a DIY wedding nearly the same weekend as CD’s and will also testify about the amount of work and the danger of PINTEREST for the family. </p>

<p>But in both, you can SEE and almost touch the love involved.</p>

<p>Chocochip, I was so happy with my dress. It was comfortable, was the perfect color for my eyes, it fit well without needing shapewear, I did not need to lose a last gasp 10 lbs to fir into it (though I lost that much anyway) and it made me feel confident. 10/10.</p>

<p>Shellfell – let’s see:
Mains: beef short ribs; chilled poached salmon in white wine; spring rolled chicken breasts w/leeks, shiitakes, cheddar, lemon zest, prosciutto, rosemary and red wine; stuffed baby bella mushrooms with wild rice, butternut squash, shallots, and optional sun-dried tomatoes and pistachios.
Sides: saffron-infused basmati rice, tarragon corn, lemon-dill baked cauliflower, cider-roasted veggies, pasta bar
Salad bar: baby leaf assorted lettuces and various toppings, and raspberry salad w/spinach, arugula, kiwi, pecans and gorgonzola.
Desserts: cupcakes, English trifle, tart cherry cobbler, peach cobbler, jammy dodger cookies, Cadbury candies & personalized m&ms</p>

<p>We did this in our 10x12 kitchen, plus a couple of neighbors generously offered to stash trays in the fridge, and the neighbors across the street let us borrow their double oven while they are on vacation. Cupcakes came from a bakery in Frederick, MD, rice came from a Persian restaurant across the street from the venue, jammy dodgers were from Whole Foods (I ran out of time to bake them myself). Herbs and squash were grown in our garden, fruits and corn came from local farms and picked by various members of the wedding party & friends. Beef and chicken came from a butcher in Mt. Airy, MD who came highly recommended by the party rental folks and some folks S2 talked with on reddit food threads. Meat was processed on-site the day before we picked it up.</p>

<p>Eso, I don’t know how on earth she cooked for 150 without help. While I was worried about running a hotel for ten days on top of the wedding, EVERYONE pitched in with whatever needed to be done. They truly saved DH and I from ourselves! :)</p>

<p>Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and congratulations to the bride and groom. </p>

<p>Your love and caring for the couple and their guests shone through!</p>

<p>Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your wonderful experience. I have taken notes!</p>

<p>Forgot a big wedding score – flowers!</p>

<p>Went to a wholesale flower market in the DC area. Had signed up in advance online so I could see prices (or at least have a clue as to what they offered and how much they ran) and went over two weeks prior to check out the goods. Went to the market the day before the wedding at 6:45 am, got 50 gorgeous white roses, 225 carnations, much baby’s breath, blue hydrangeas and 16 orchid stems so we could make three bouquets, a tossing bouquet, 7 boutonnieres, four corsages, 12 table arrangements and several other vases for bathrooms, high top tables, etc. Walked out of the place for $199.95. Score!!!</p>

<p>Cheaper than Costco mail order or the local pick-your-owns. Knew I could get what I wanted. I picked out what was fresh and in stock. Greenery came from our yard. My sister and SIL (who used to work in a flower shop) knew exactly what to do – I could arrange vases, but the corsages, etc. were another story. I think I would have been sitting in a puddle of tears and petals if they were not there. </p>

<p>The bridesmaids, who could not take their bouquets on planes, gave heirs to my 9 and 11 yo nieces. Cannot express the joy those two little girls felt at that generous gesture!</p>

<p>Wow! That is just amazing. Mazel tov to you all.</p>

<p>Wonderful, CountingDown! What a gift your family gave your son and DIL with this. Blessings to you all!</p>

<p>I cannot imagine having the energy or organizational skills to pull off what you did. Please treat yourself to some rest and relaxation now!</p>

<p>What an incredible menu for a DIY wedding! I’d be impressed if that was served at a catered affair.</p>

<p>I’m still flabbergasted by all you did. I’m organized, but I’m not sure I’d have the energy or temperament to pull this off. I know I don’t have the creative/crafty gene.</p>

<p>I am in awe. And your lucky, lucky little nieces to have this kind of wedding as possibly the first one they’ll remember and want to emulate later in life!</p>

<p>CountingDown-Mazel tov on your son’s wedding! And kudos to you and your “staff” for pulling off what sounds like an amazing affair. I am certainly taking notes for next summer when my son and his bride-to-be realize that they will have to do a lot for themselves because of their budget.</p>

<p>Sounds fantastic! Much kudos and congratulations to you!</p>

<p>This sounds wonderful. The best news is that we are in Maryland too, so if we decide to try the DIY, we can. </p>

<p>Thank you for sharing.</p>

<p>Congrats to your S & DIL!! Sounds like a beautiful event . Now you can plop in a chair and relax <3</p>

<p>I’d love to know the name of the bakery in Frederick, if you don’t mind sharing it. I haven’t been all that impressed with G’town cupcakes and it’s a pain to get there.</p>