<p>“I’m sure this has been said, but: Any college interviewer who takes your daughter to his house is not worth your D’s time. The fact that the interviewer finds this normal is disturbing. Who does that??? It’s creepy–I’d cross the school off the list.”</p>
<p>What’s even more disturbing is that apparently lots of parents seem to have never taken a statistics course and watch way too much local news at 10.</p>
<p>Greenery…have you heard of any “accidents” at college interviews? I haven’t ever in all my years as an alum interviewer, college counselor, member of CC, and parent.</p>
<p>I say that the chance of an “accident” at a college interview is close to zero. Very close. My kids are at greater risk in so many other situations they are in on a regular basis.</p>
<p>One more thing, Greenery…</p>
<p>Very selective colleges almost all conduct alum interviews around the world…thousands every year. If there were incidents in the past, this practice would be changed.</p>
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<p>I agree. I’m stunned by the position of some parents on this thread that their 17-18 year old kids aren’t mature enough to be in a home with any adult that they don’t know- even if that adult is representing a school, or the parent of a friend or classmate, or a friend of a friend, like in babysitting. Stunned. Learned something new today!</p>
<p>"BS: You describe campus sexual assault as “shrouded in secrecy.” </p>
<p>KL: First of all, there is a culture of secrecy simply because so many student victims feel ashamed. That’s reinforced by peer pressure on a college campus. That is the difference between college women and women in the general population. Rape is an underreported crime overall, but 20 percent of rape victims in the general population do come forward. At the college level, on the other hand, it’s less than five percent. There’s a lot of fear, especially if two students might know each other, of how their social circles might handle it."</p>
<p>"BS: The first story in your series opens with [Girls’ name] from the University of Virginia, who challenged the secrecy imposed on her after she filed a rape complaint. How did you find her?</p>
<p>KL: I found [girl’s name]’s mother through [name] of Security on Campus. Security on Campus had filed a joint complaint against UVA (University of Virginia) on behalf of another student. the [security] said you should check out UVA Victims of Rape, run by [Girl’s]’s mother. I contacted her mother through the website"
Extract of Article “Covering Campus Sexual Assault/By Bruce Shapiro”</p>
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My goodness why not? That’s what we’ve done. Also, in the days before cell phones I’ve gone up to the door with my son and asked when the interview would be over so that I could come back at the right time and also to ask where I might go to get a cup of coffee as I wasn’t familiar with the neighborhood in one case. In two cases the interview ran late - in one case I was invited to sit in another room while they finished up and in the other case I joined them as they were at the what the interviewer could tell my son about the school stage of things. Neither of my sons has had drivers licenses as seniors, though my younger son says he wants to get a learner’s permit soon.</p>
<p>One of my daughter’s interviews was at the home of an alum- a male in our general neighborhood. I thought nothing of it- actually thought it was quite gracious of him to invite her to his home. I drove her and waited in the car, outside. I have no idea if I was visible or not- didn’t occur to me to try to be invisible, nor did it occur to me to go to the door. </p>
<p>The only interview I remember not being completely comfortable with was the one where the interviewer came to our home. I don’t know how it was suggested, as my daughter arranged it, but I think he asked if he could come and she said yes.
Of course, I was worried about the peeling paint on the fireplace and wondering if I needed to get my carpets cleaned…
- wondered how we- H and I- would be perceived. Believe me, I much prefer that my kid be evaluated without the burden of her parents being included in the equation. </p>
<p>I don’t think there’s a right or wrong here. If the parents don’t feel comfortable with the situation, recommend a different venue. On the other hand, many of us still feel a certain amount of trust in the human race and would like to continue to act accordingly.</p>
<p>Greenery,
Campus and date rape are a real problem. What does that have to do with alumni interviews arranged through the college? An alum interview has more in common with a private meeting with a professor than it does with students who rape one another. In fact, your daughter is at MORE risk on campus just living and walking around in terms of rape than in a college INTERVIEW, where it is nonexistent.</p>
<p>Mathmom, I agree…kids who have had to get a ride with a parent to my house for the interview often call them up to come back for them after the interview is over if the parent has gone off to kill time in town. In fact it is not a whole lot different than when my kids have gone over to the homes of classmates whom I don’t know and ring me to pick them up.</p>
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<p>This is exactly why I find this debate so amazing. So, so true.</p>
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<p>Thank you on behalf of all us alumni who volunteer to invite your kids to chat with them to not only learn more about the college, but to offer them a chance to present a personal side of themselves so that the alum can then volunteer more time to write a narrative describing the student for the admissions committee to read. Thanks for your appreciation of our efforts to do this on a volunteer basis. Hopefully we are helping your kids by providing this opportunity far from campus and a chance to share a personal side of themselves.</p>
<p>Greenery:</p>
<p>How many of the examples you cited occurred in the context of a college application interview in the home of an alum interviewer? My scariest encounter was with the boyfriend of my college roommate, He was a lout (she eventually had the good taste to ditch him). There were times I really felt unsafe with him in the room, sometimes when my roommate was out (but she had let him in).</p>
<p>Not only is to act honestly but the appearances in acting as such. An interviewer’s house is not an appropriate place to interview students. I’m sure I can research cases for you, but it is common sense!
"The -year-old female Arkansas State University student accused { name], an associate professor, and his wife, [name], an assistant professor, of raping her at their home on the night of [ date]. Both professors were in the department of criminology, sociology and geography.</p>
<p>My daughter had one of her interviews at our home per the interviewer’s request. At first I didn’t think much of it. We gave them the privacy by staying upstairs because it’s quite open downstairs. The interview went for 2 hours, and we felt very trapped upstairs, especially since they were in our family room next to the kitchen.</p>
<p>Greenery, re: 772…A professor can rape a student in their private office as well. </p>
<p>This whole thread just amazes me in light of the fact that I have been what I consider a very protective parent. But once my kids left home for college, they have been in risky situations where things can happen. I can’t avoid this for them entirely. The one thing I had no worries about were their college admissions interviews lined up through the college with alumni. I’d be very interested in hearing an example of an incident of inappropriate or criminal behavior in a college admissions interview. An interviewer would be pretty dumb as this meeting is on record. It seems like the least obvious situation to conduct criminal behavior to me. But in any case, if there were problems, colleges would not continue to have thousands of such interviews conducted all over the world every year. It may be in parents’ heads that this is a concern, but it is not a risk in reality.</p>
<p>Greenery:</p>
<p>Yes, indeed. Going to college, as opposed to applying to college, is far more dangerous. Between profs and students, how can one be sure that one’s child is safe?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t think twice about it.</p>
<p>It is the opportunity…not only rape…but it is unprofessional.</p>
<p>775…Marite, exactly. If parents are this concerned about the alumni interviewer in terms of safety, and where I am unaware of documented criminal behavior, what are these parents going to do in reconciling the fact that their kids are going to be meeting strange teachers, students, pedestrians, etc. when they are living at college? It is riskier. So, if you can’t let them attend an alumni interview, what CAN they do at college? It is riskier to live independently and all the situations that arise for college kids living away from home. I worry more about those situations (which can’t be avoided) than a college interview which would never be something that would occur to me to worry about and I am a worrier as it is.</p>
<p>Thank you thank you. For reminding me that interviewing for my alma mater is just not worth the time. When I think of how time-consuming it is to do the write ups, the follow ups, not to mention the actual interviewing and the back and forth setting up the interviews-- it is miraculous that busy alums find the time to do this (thinking they are providing a valuable service to kids who couldn’t otherwise afford to visit the campus) and then are compared to date rapists or other perverts.</p>
<p>People- just say no. If there is ever a situation with your kids that makes you uncomfortable, opt out. It’s that simple. But to suggest that the interviewer is creepy or at fault for inviting your kid to spend 45 minutes learning more about the college and for putting his or her best foot forward prior to admissions decisions-- to me this is bizarre. Regional alumni interviewers are typically busy people who can be googled to verify their bona fides. A call to the admissions office by your kid, 'Hey, Karen Smith, class of '93 has contacted me for an interview. Is Karen Brown of St. Paul Minnesota indeed an alumna of Cornell?"</p>
<p>But again- if you don’t want your kid interviewing in a strangers home just have your kid decline the interview. It’s as simple as that. But to cast aspersions on thousands of volunteers who do this out of their love for their college and their interest in making that college an option to as many kids as possible-- to me this is bizarre. Just say no.</p>
<p>And I repeat- it wouldn’t hurt to remind your kid that when he or she is interviewing for a job some time in the near future, it will likely be at an inconvenient time (like 8 am.) It will probably be in an inconvenient location (i.e. not in their own apartment or on their own campus). It will most definitely require taking a shower and taking off the flip-flops even if you know the workplace says “business casual”. Flip flops are not business casual. And yeah, it’s a real drag, but you’ll have to turn off your cellphone during the interview.</p>
<p>And no, your mommy is not welcome in your workplace. Helicopter or otherwise.</p>
<p>Greenery…the alumni interview is not a professional situation. I don’t expect job interviews to be conducted at home. That is a professional situation. A visit and interview with an alumni volunteer is not the same as an employment or professional type interviews.</p>