Do I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)?

Pre-College Topics High School Cafe
1

Hi. I’m a sophomore at high school. Lately, I’ve been googling depression Asian (cause I’m Asian) and GAD.

I’m always worrying about everything. If I’m not worrying about one thing I’m worrying about the next thing.

First of all, I can’t be sure about something unless somebody writes it down or texts me. If it was said verbally I would constantly be afraid of “mishearing” or “forgetting.” For example, let’s say we were given a certain format to do a project and it wasn’t written down, just mentioned or self-explanatory. I “know” what to do, but don’t know. What I would do is annoy my friends, constantly ask them, hoping the directions are put on blackboard, I would constantly worry about that one thing,

Everything HAS to be consistent in a good way in order for me to be satisfied. I have a 3.95 GPA. That A- in Spanish 2 left me distraught. I’m in Spanish 4, getting an 89.5%, which rounds up to a low A- because of that C+ I had in my quiz. When I saw that, it felt like the end of the world. I said I was worthless and suddenly started to study harder. I felt so anxious. I’m getting a 94 in chemistry and I don’t know if I can’t keep it up.

When I get panic attacks, I cry and I feel like I’m suffocating. My throat gets lump and dry and it feels like I can’t swallow. I can’t sleep, etc.

Consistency, as in straight As. If I am getting 95s, I have to get a 95 or above at ALL subjects. It feels like a fantasy, a utopia. It feels so impossible, I’m in the danger of getting an A- in chemistry just because I just got one C on a quiz (I had a bad week).

I cannot be completely satisfied about that thought until I am rest assured, rest assured as in showing me physically by example using simple and straightforward words and no one would give that to me. I’m also too afraid to ask my teachers this, because of my anxiety and panic attacks, worrying, worrying.

Whenever I write lab reports or essays or whatever, everything has to be elaborate, points emphasized, and all reasons stated no matter what. It accounts for my constantly long essays. I would also ask “why” to myself, why, so much to the point that there would be the verge of no explanation, QED.

I’m also overly-concerned about my homework and assignment, it takes me FOREVER to do homework because I feel obligated to get every single thing right, every single thing explained and walked through precisely, or else I’ll probably get a ZERO because I didn’t explain why, or I’ll lose 20 points because I forgot to put a period at the end. Colleges would say, “Oh wow, this person got one B+. That’s it. Denied.” I’m also overly-anxious about procrastinating and when things are due tomorrow or even in two days, I panic. I try to get them done. I have horrible organization skills.

Nobody cares! This is even why I don’t even participate in extracurriculars! This is why I quit orchestra – this tedious task of fingers, ugh! I one told a “friend” (hence quotation marks because this person hates me now) that I feel anxious when having to sit still and listen to loud orchestra music during required (emphasized on required) school concerts. That person said,

“That’s basically anxiety…” That person said that as if that person didn’t care! Why? Because that person loves orchestra!

It feels like I will never be successful. It feels like no one will listen to my concerns. It feels as if nobody cares, or if somebody cares, he or she won’t understand. I’ve lost all my friends, my self-esteem, but I don’t lose my pride.

I don’t have depression. I still smile, make a proud face, and everyone adores me. I know this is such a quick turnaround, but it’s just… Complicated. The only things I feel confident at are math. I would feel rest assured if I know the exact pinpoint and know what to do, having a 100% assurance.

If I DO worry, I worry to the point of being overly attached to a safety zone, I obsess over it, I feel trapped. Teachers and my classmates expect so much of me, I feel so pressured.

2

No one can really diagnose you with anything on CollegeConfidential. Seek the help of a therapist/counselor and approach your parents.

3

Try this:

http://www.ementalhealth.ca/index.php?ID=3&m=survey

4

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I personally have OCD. Mental health issues suck. Don’t listen to those negative thoughts in your head. I know you are driven and smart enough to have a very successful life. Plenty of people care about you, inculding me.

If there is even a shadow of a doubt in your mind that you may have a mental illness, you should see a mental health professional. (You can also see them for anything that is causing you distress, not just mental illness)

The best way to do this is to tell your parents. Sometimes if it’s hard to speak to them you can write them a note or email. I find that writing can be easier than talking. If you really don’t feel comfortable you can tell any adult you trust like a guidance counselor or teacher.

Also please be careful with researching mental illnesses. It’s great for finding helpful information but can become excessive and anxiety inducing very quickly.

As far as things go that might help you until you see a therapist, an app I really like is Thought Diary, which is based off a proven therapy. Also you will forever hear people telling you to take deep breaths. It really can be a great tool. I like the app Flowy that was designed by some college’s psych department specifically for anxiety and panic attacks. It is a breathing exercise combined with a game. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed at school, I’ll just ask to go to the bathroom and go there to take a few deep breaths or just walk around the halls because for some reason that relaxes me.

I really do hope that you get help and start to feel better soon! hugs

5

Also please be kind to yourself. The people over on the Fourms at Psych Central are incredibly supportive if you need more people to talk too. If you ever think of seriously hurting yourself, please tell an adult and seek help immediately.

6

Panic attacks are a serious business. If you really think you are having panic attacks according to their clinical definition, you need to see a physician. As soon as possible. A family doctor or general practitioner is the first stop.

Virtually no therapists are also physicians. This is important.

You need a correct diagnosis, and then the doctor will see if medication is appropriate to stop the attacks. Usually a short course of meds for 2 weeks or so will calm you down. This is not the same as a long term prescription that many people will try to talk you out of for ideological reasons.

You also need to see a physician to rule out problems with, for example, your thyroid, which can create the same symptoms and :must: be treated medically.

Your GP can make referrals to a psychiatrist or therapist also. This may be necessary to activate insurance coverage. Your GP’s office also has a good sense of who is currently accepting patients, which you cannot learn just on Google.

7

WasatchWriter is right. It would probably be best to see a GP then have them refer you to a therapist. When I was writing, I forgot about insurance and since I’ve been diagnosed for so long, we know that when things flare up, it’s my mental illness and not a medical problem so I forgot the need for initial medical testing .