<p>If the Frat has his SSN (I’m not sure I buy that) it means it has extended him credit, a loan. If so, have the proper truth in lending disclosures been made? What are the terms? Are there more than 4 payments? If they are reporting bad credit to credit bureaus, are they reporting the good, on time payments?</p>
<p>It’s time for your son to repay you. He can get a job for spring break.</p>
<p>I would have probably lent him the money too, but I don’t think he’s being truthful that the frat dues can ruin his credit.</p>
<p>The OP seems to have made the decision NOT to let this kid go broke. We viewed frat spending (if our kids had done this) as discretionary college spending, and THEY would have been funding the costs. </p>
<p>I agree…there is NO REASON for the frat to have your son’s social security number. NONE. You might want to get the message to him that he should NOT be giving this number out unless absolutely necessary. Discuss identify theft with him…and loans, and budgeting.</p>
<p>Clearly, he does not understand these things…and he needs to.</p>
<p>The Frat bill was finally sent to me, it was computer generated, and it says “You are hereby notified that your account is now being considered for our final collection process. Please remit immediately. …Failure to do so may result in your account being referred to a commissioned collection agency. If this happens, your credit rating may be affected for the next seven years…” Yes this bill was suppose to be his bill, not ours.
He is leading an Alternative Spring Break trip for spring break (sponsored by the school), so can’t work then, but of course he could work weekends.</p>
<p>Your son sounds like a very intelligent young man. Why work when you can lead a trip? Why use your funds to pay your frat bill when Mom and Dad will step up to the plate? Why even bother to economize when there seem to be no consequences whatsoever to being overdrawn?</p>
<p>Giving the frat his social security number was not too smart, but it remains to be seen whether mom and dad will continue their bail-out program past graduation (my bet is yes.)</p>
<p>let me get this straight. You give your son money for the semester. He knows he needs to pay frat dues. He blows off the dues, goes to Canada for New Years spending a sizeable chunk of the money. And now, you and he think he can’t work during spring break because he’s going on another trip? </p>
<p>huh, no. He needs to back out of that trip (unless he is getting paid for it) and get a job that will pay him enough to cover the dues.</p>
<p>If you cover the dues, then he gets a free ride. Don’t pay. Let natural consequences takes over.</p>
<p>“You are hereby notified that your account is now being considered for our final collection process. Please remit immediately. …Failure to do so may result in your account being referred to a commissioned collection agency. If this happens, your credit rating may be affected for the next seven years…” Yes this bill was suppose to be his bill, not ours.</p>
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<p>This is a collection notice. Standard. In order to collect they would need to file a suit, win, and start collections. The judgment would show on his credit, and it would remain on there for 7 years. Very standard. It doesn’t mean that they gave him a loan, and they cannot just use his SSN to file something with a credit bureau. </p>
<p>He’s not treating his friends very fairly (the frat) if he’s not paying his bills. He needs to pay or resign. I’m very pro-greek, but he needs to meet his obligations. </p>
<p>OP, you originally asked if he should get the full amount of his money, and many of us said yes. I do think that was the right decision because it was his money, but he doesn’t know how to manage it. He needs to go hungry a few days. He needs to miss a few parties, weekends, new clothes. I have two kids about to start college. One worked very hard and got a lot of scholarships; she’s home studying. Her sister is not as good a student and her scholarships are less; she’s at her fast food job earning money she’ll need for college.</p>
<p>Maybe it is time for him to leave his frat. Those bills can get sent to collection. Maybe no spring break, either. </p>
<p>It is a hard lesson. We had a tough time with one of our college kids. Couldn’t stick to budget. Couldn’t keep money in his pocket. Easier to learn now, then later. </p>
<p>The funny thing is that the trip is a humanitarian one, no electricity or hot water. And his plans for after graduation…peace corp! Could be the best idea yet.
It’s not his fault, it’s ours. I know.</p>
<p>Almost- it’s everybody’s fault. You guys are in a pattern with each other right now- kid screws up, mom and dad save him. Kid gets stern warning and then lo and behold screws up again. Mom and Dad save him again. You posted here asking how to break the pattern, but paying off his frat bill (discretionary spending, no?) sure isn’t the way to do that.</p>
<p>Peace corps- has he started the application process yet? It takes time- it’s not like getting a job at Walmart. If not, you can encourage him to begin.</p>
<p>So it’s humanitarian. So what about PC? That’s impressive but different than being mature and handling his obligations. This isn’t about experiencing hardship. He is creating hardship right in front of you. He needs a serious reality check. As his parent, you “owe” him that. You need to look at your own continuing motivations and where you may be mis-steering him. Instead, you’re looking at the icing and missing the cake. You have a part in this.</p>
<p>Next it will be, but I owe Fred money and he’s desperate. Or I don’t have airfare to that interview. Or we’re getting kicked out of our apartment. Or the grandchildren’s needs. Some parents can afford this underwriting. But there should be some sense the kids are owning up to their own responsibilities.</p>
<p>Ps- say what?! It’s not his fault? How not? He didn’t make the choices, spend the money? He is acting, you are enabling. Different sides of the same coin. </p>
<p>And, not all PC is in such remote parts of the world that he can’t blow his funds. </p>
<p>If your son can’t economize with his money for college costs, PLEASE don’t strap the Peace Corps with his financial irresponsibility. I can tell you first hand…you will NOT be able to bail him out if he runs short of funds. And the Peace Corps won’t either. He will be given a stipend to pay his expenses to live like the locals. It doesn’t sound like THAT is his style. And if he runs put of money, he will BE without money until his next stipend is disbursed (PCVs cannot work outside of the PC in their countries). </p>
<p>I would suggest growing up HERE before a responsible position with the Peace Corps in a developing country is considered. </p>
<p>Do you really think two years in the Peace Corps with this kind of poor money management will correct this issue? I think it’s very odd that you think this.</p>
<p>I normally agree with Blossom, but I don’t think the PC needs an irresponsible volunteer. </p>
<p>Thumper- I was being facetious. The Peace Corps interview process is reasonably rigorous and takes time- a senior who intends to go into the PC but has not yet started the process or met with a regional rep is likely to get a cold dose of reality once he or she begins the interviewing. </p>
<p>True that, Blossom. The process is usually a full year between the first inquiry and an actual appointment…with departure even later than that. This kid (if he got IN to the Peace Corps) could be home spending his parents’ money until September. </p>
<p>He spent through $3000 in two months??? Really, is he on drugs? Even with a trip to Canada that is a lot of money is less than 3 months!</p>
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<p>You knew he wasn’t going to pay his frat dues. Does he not have the money to pay the dues or is he just not paying them? Really, you need to let him deal with his mess. If he doesn’t have the money then you will undoubtedly be paying for the rest of this semester. Are you aware that the Peace Corp does not have unlimited openings and at times you have to wait months for a spot to open if you get anything at all?</p>
<p>As of December, the OP’s son had not (to her knowledge) applied to the Peace Corps. She had posted on another thread about this, and I had offered information if needed (6 PC members in our family). </p>
<p>So, we know his priorities are not paying his bills himself (and in a timely fashion)…and getting applications done (if indeed he really is interested in the PCmwhen he graduates). </p>
<p>But I’m digressing here. I think money management is extremely important. It is perhaps one of THE most important skills we need. This student needs to learn this. Giving him more money every time he needs to be bailed out is NOT teaching him to manage his funds well, or live within his means. </p>
<p>I’m curious what he owes his fraternity FOR. I can’t believe they would send someone to a collections agency for ONE semester of dues. Is he living in the house? Did he pay his lodging costs? I would want to know the exact amount AND what the money was actually FOR. Even with that, I would not pay the bill without first working out a plan for his repayment to me. </p>
<p>And if a spring trip was a higher priority than the frat dues, the frat would have to be dropped.</p>
<p>Wow! I can’t imagine blowing through that much money in a semester in undergrad even when including academic essentials like books and the road trips I’ve taken. </p>
<p>A family member recently returned from the Peace Corps after 27 months of service. She was good at budgeting and living on what she made each month, and became a great haggler in the market. </p>
<p>FIguring out how to live within your means is essential before going to another country for that long. If you budget wisely, you might come out on the other end with lots of great memories and pictures and even a little extra money. If you don’t, it will be rough. </p>