I think plenty of us above agree with this.
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I view social media as a good way to weed out people from my life. If someone is mean or nasty online then I don’t need to be in the same space as them.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Online is way to see that.
Yes, sorry I didn’t mean to say that I was alone in my thinking, I realize it came off that way. The thread seemed to be devolving into a discussion on when and how to refute people’s opinions when it seems the best answer is not to post about politics. Period.
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Well, that’s a common point of view. But I am not friends on FB with somebody except those I am friends with IRL, and since we don’t live in the same state, discussing current events seems okay with me and them. They are free to mute me, or ignore me, or converse with me – which brings us back to the OP!
People use media in different ways, with different intent and tone. Prob best to not take offense as the first reaction to being unfriended.
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I never post when we visit the place we used to live. We are usually in the area for a specific reason (example: we were recently there for a wedding) and there is not enough time to see everyone. I would not unfriend a person for being at a conference 45 minutes away and not reaching out. I would assume that person was busy with the conference,etc.
The butthead who teases and mocks your H? I would have unfriended him a LONG time ago!
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Bob has been a bit of a jerk for a long time. I don’t really understand why my DH remained friends with him. Bob’s wife is the mean girl version of him.
I know that at some point down the road, I will have to see the 2 of them in person. I’m going to be polite, friendly, and intend to not say a word about my unfriending either of them. Guaranteed, though, that 1 of them will bring it up. When that happens, I’m just going to say something like, “Why does that matter? Besides, we’re here hanging out together in person. Hey Bob, how’s your dad doing?”
And then if 1 of them doubles down and insists on pursuing the topic further, I’ll tell them, “Don’t ask a question if you’re not prepared to hear the answer. Again, what does it matter? DH hasn’t used FB in years, so what’s the big deal?” 
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I definitely agree with this. I also dislike social media because its algorithms will feed you more of what you’ve seen before, regardless of the truth of the content. So “fake news” (whether about politics, a celebrity, science, whatever) can be continually fed to a person and they think that all of this information is the truth, and thus are flabbergasted by others’ opinions that go counter to what is so “obvious” to them. I don’t use the word “hate” much, but I really do hate the fact that people no longer agree on facts. It’s fine if people have different interpretations of the causes and effects of facts, but it’s terrifying that we can’t agree on the facts themselves.
If one wouldn’t say something verbally in public, or at one’s workplace, or at a family event, then I don’t think that one should share it via social media. If one does share things on social media that one wouldn’t say in public, then one should be prepared for any consequences of sharing one’s utterances.
Some people do talk about religion or politics in public settings. The types of people who do that, however, typically will speak using moderated language, not inflammatory language. If people had been self-moderating their language on social media over the years, then I suspect that much of the tribalism and nastiness that has become too common in our country would have been far more limited in scope.
So, I agree with others about the possible meanings of the unfriending. And perhaps this is a time to reflect about the content one posts and whether it is something one would share in an in-person public setting.
(When referring to social media I am excluding forums like CC, but include things where you have a “feed” that is populated by an algorithm.)
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I understand that viewpoint. I do pick my battles, like fact checking sky-is-falling, misleading vaccine claims. I consider that a health topic, not politics (though of course it has been politicized).
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Well. Circumstances matter. If they voice hatred about lgbtq and you have a gay or trans kid… wouldn’t you want to know?
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Yes.
In a situation like you describe, it helps me to know to be vigilant whenever this person may be around my kid. It may also be an illustration to my kid that how people act in public may or may not align with what they say in what they feel is “private” (though how one can think that social media is a private sphere is beyond me).
So knowing how a person “really” feels can be important. But then what?
For instance, my grandparents didn’t attend my mother’s wedding to my dad because it was an interracial marriage. Many people would find this a justifiable reason to end communications/the relationship. My mother didn’t, however. Over time they got to know my dad and then me. And even though I am their only racially mixed grandchild, I am a very beloved one (and, some might argue, the favorite).
Nobody could have foreseen this. My mother could have very easily assumed that because her parents had been extremely clear in their racist views that her parents could not be around her spouse or her child, but if she had, I would have lost out on what has become a very close relationship with my grandmother.
People change, and I am doubtful that my grandparents would have changed had my mom cut them off. I think they needed to have an opportunity to interact with those toward whom they held negative views and realize that their beliefs and reality did not mesh.
Would I be willing to let my child be harmed to do this? No, which is why I would be vigilant and set boundaries (i.e. if they would say or do anything negative to my kid or about LGBTQ folks then we would exit the situation, conversation, whatever). But I would want a better future for my kid where people weren’t as threatened by their very existence and hope that by having these people know my kid, they will see how wonderful and loveable my kid is and that their beliefs are harmful and wrong.
Obviously this is a very personal issue and reasonable people can make different decisions, but I wanted to share this viewpoint.
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Sorry. I’m a native New Yorker. I no longer assume my views on race, religion or sexuality comport with anyone’s the moment I cross the Hudson River.
Well I’m in NJ, 8 miles away, you will find a lot of like minded people here.
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In my area, people assume that their neighbors believe as they do. Which makes them feel it’s okay to say things out loud that I consider absolutely unacceptable. I don’t engage those people in small talk - a nod or wave is all they get. If someone on social media demonstrates similar tendencies to share ideas that I consider unacceptable, I will absolutely unfriend them. Fortunately, I have only had to do it once. Mute works fine for stuff I don’t care to see on my feed, but when things that are posted cross a line I don’t personally want to see crossed, I have no problem with clicking Unfriend.
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I do think that sometimes people get caught up in the momentum of a thread/post and then end up saying things that they don’t really mean or that doesn’t reflect their true values.
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