There could be lots of reasons – I once unfriended someone just because their life (trips, friends, outings, happiness) was too much for me to see on the daily when I was depressed. So it might not be about you.
I post political stuff pretty often, and then my brother argues with me (fairly politely) and then our mother messages us to tell us to stop. I have had acquaintances unfriend me because of their fringe beliefs and that’s fine. generally, I only have FB friends who pass the grocery store test (if I see them in the grocery store, do we stop and chat? At least a friendly wave?) and the rest of my FB friends are far flung family. It has been a lovely way to stay connected, but you have to be smart about the bots, etc.
Ignore it. And I’ll be blunt … unless you know that most of the people you’re Facebook friends want to see the things you are sharing, please reconsider doing so. If you like the things you’re sharing, you can share them with yourself only.
In the past, I unfriended someone who was really mean about “the other side.” I didn’t need that negativity. Other friends who posted political things - both sides - stopped doing so several years ago. I had some of them on mute. They didn’t know I had them muted, and I could check on them from time to time (and take them off mute as they dropped the politics). I just want to keep up with folks I don’t see often so I know when things happen in their lives. That’s it.
I don’t advocate frequent, divisive political posts. But once in a while I will post something carefully crafted to show my position and illustrate to friends of different party that there are indeed good hearted people from “the other side” with thoughtful reasons for their positions. Because in the end, I feel that Americans have more in common than we think… despite the media frenzy to prove otherwise.
One other possibility. Maybe your relative (in-law?) doesn’t realize you can unfollow someone without unfriending them. I’ve had to do that with a few people who post many times a day, and there’s one cousin who’s teetering on the brink.
I really do want to know if she posts about family, and she never posts anything political, but I’ve about had it with the “inspirational” memes, recipes, jokes, “back in the day” (but generic, not personal) posts - I’m talking sometimes a dozen a day.
Could this be you? Maybe politics isn’t the whole reason.
I’ll add that maybe it’s just me but anyone I follow who is inclined to post multiple times in FB daily (ESPECIALLY shares - limit your shares!) is going to get a mute from me no matter what they are sharing.
I’ve unfriended a few people on FB. In MY case, it was because the person was being a butthead OR I had just generally reached the point where it no longer felt like there was a friendship or connection anymore.
And sometimes, it’s a lot easier to like somebody when you don’t have to see their daily nonsense.
Some interesting examples:
Sally (not her real name), married to Bob. Bob and my DH buddies since 2nd grade. Bob was groomsman in our wedding. Sally has always been an uppity snot but I kept the peace for the sake of our husbands’ long friendship. We moved to another state a long time ago. Unfriended her finally a year ago when my DH and his sister traveled to their hometown (where Bob and Sally live) to visit their old haunts after the death of my MIL. Bob and DH hadn’t seen each other in person in several years. Visit at Bob and Sally’s house arranged ahead of time (and no, they didn’t spend the night there, arranged their own accommodations at a hotel). After 2 hr of hanging out and talking, Sally basically kicked DH and SIL out. Said it was getting late. It was 7:30 pm and Sally wanted to go line dancing by herself. Oh and every year, she sends out one of those awful Christmas newsletters and brags about all of the vacations she goes on all summer. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Bob. Unfriended him a few months ago. Found out thanks to FB that he was in our area at a work conference for an entire week literally 45 min from where we live. Never reached out to my DH at all. Click. Unfriend and block. He’s a butthead. Always would tease and mock my DH in a butthead sort of way so I don’t miss that.
my dad. One of the most toxic, narcissistic people I’ve ever met. My relationship is better without us being connected on social media.
my BIL. For his never ending parade of toxic over the top political and anti-religion posts all the time. And for name calling and being a butthead to me in person on multiple occasions when he’s drunk.
my SIL. For also posting a never ending stream of political nonsense. We get along much better w/o social media connections now.
a random mom I met when our kids were on the same swim team ages ago. Learned after awhile that she’s super duper passionate about certain political and religious topics and she can’t handle it when people think differently than her. Meanwhile, I just want to get along with people and feel like we can learn to respect each others diffferences. That mom one too many times would call me up at 10:30 pm or later to rant and rave on the phone about something political. She was kind of a nut job and thanks to FB, I learned that through our social media connection.
I guess one person’s “political” is another person’s “personal”. You might think it is political to post about Issue A, but it might have a direct impact on my life so why would I not express worry or concern or elation?
Memes of completely false “information” are my MiLs favorite thing. I often go and respond with a link of facts (she believed, for example, the one about Fred Rogers being a Navy seal) not so much for her, but for the people she is friends with.
If you are annoyed by my POV, we probably aren’t FB friends anyway. Or you have me muted or off. But I have found it helpful to know who people are when they aren’t just being polite in public. The past decade has taught me that being quiet does not necessarily net us the outcomes we’d like. (And I’m not saying we should be rude or mean to one another)
I wouldn’t say anything. There are tons of reasons, many given already, as to why you got unfriended. My policy is to keep my social media life separate from my real life. I don’t talk to people about their posts, or their friends, or who they follow, etc. The one exception might be to congratulate somebody in person on a wedding or new baby.
I get that. But for some portion of the populace, that’s just not a choice. If Aunt Edna is gonna be nice to my neighbor at the picnic, but then tell everyone mistruths about my neighbor’s ethnicity/orientation/whatever on IG, I’d like to know that. If myBiL is actively pursuing things that make other people less safe, I’d like to know that.
Understood. I don’t have to think changing their mind is my job , though. But I might not want them at my dinner party. I guess I don’t think there’s much to be gained by pretending people are generally nicer than they actually are…but that’s just me. Certainly there are choices.
I don’t post on facebook much, just 1-2 times per year. I view it regularly (to keep up with some local groups).
I’ve unfriended people for threatening physical violence against others or being cruel. Anyone whose posts consistently annoy me gets muted, whether we agree on politics or not. I just mute but some people unfriend for that.
At a former job, a coworker made frequent over-the-top posts about how amazing her daughter is. Yes, it was obnoxious. My other coworkers loved to snark about it together (in person) and I felt they were getting way too riled up. I was mostly just entertained by the posts. However, I felt it best to mute her just so I couldn’t even participate in the snark convos: “No I didn’t see that, I have her muted, sorry bye!”
On occasion I notice someone has unfriended me. Usually I think “well that’s probably for the best”. If not, I still don’t worry about it. I have several dear, close in-person friends that we haven’t bothered to friend each other on our socials. Whereas I’m media “friends” with some mere acquaintances. I see social media as pretty separate from my real social life.
I’ve come close to unfriending somebody (a neighbor who I for the most part really like) who posts a lot of “fake news”. Instead I like/love her nice posts. And once in a great while I will post a fact-check link to show that the most egregious gloom/doom fake news is actually and thankfully not true. I’d welcome her to do the same on my posts (which won’t happen because I stick to well trusted news sources).
well, in that case it at least demonstrates that an opinion is not universally shared, or a fact is not considered as such by everyone. There’s some value in that if people keep it civil. I have benefited from civil discussion re someone’s opposing POV even if it didn’t change my own.
Agreed. I am more targeting her more moderate, open minded friends. They can read my counter-point news link (or a fact-check link discussing the fake news) and form their own opinion. I do know that many of her FB friends will still believe her original info, usually something shared without clear news source.
I’m just going to disagree because someone should I find no value in discussing politics online, reading other people’s links, trying to “educate” my friend from 3rd grade.
Discussing politics and/or religion is mostly rude. Unless you’re close friends who enjoy debate and in that case, do it in person over a beer or a cup of coffee.
I hate social media because it has broken down normal social barriers and made us tribal and nastier to each other. I don’t believe you actually are supposed to know how your ex-boyfriend from high school votes. In the words of the great poet Swift, “say in a tweet, that’s a cop out.”
I find no value in discussing politics online, reading other people’s links, trying to “educate” my friend from 3rd grade.