This. Social media and associated bots can really skew your world view.
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I feel the need to defend cyclists here. I think they are kind of like drivers. Most are fine, but you remember the bad ones. I get thanked almost every time I go out because when Iām riding I give people notice that Iām approaching them, and interact with cars in a safe manner, as do others I ride with. There are plenty of drivers who DO NOT give riders the space they are legally supposed to when they drive by, which is at least 3 feet. There are also plenty of people who just donāt like cyclists on the same path as them, and are rude/do not obey standard etiquette that is posted at all/most entrances to the paths.
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And then there are the cyclists who think nobody would dare hit them no matter how or where they ride. And stake their life on it unfortunately.
My personal fuse is definitely shorter than it used to be. A lack of common courtesy really pushes my buttons. Iām not sure if this is a function of becoming more intolerant as I age or the decline of civility in society overall. Perhaps a combination of both.
I run on trails shared with road bikes. These are nice, wide paths. I find a mix of behavior. Older male bikers (>65-ish) who are riding in pairs seem to be the least courteous. There seems to often be an unwillingness for one to fall in behind the other. I get that youāre chit-chatting, but it can feel like a game of chicken as they ride toward me. Especially when they are wearing sunglasses, itās hard for me to know if they see me running toward them or not. The inside guy either often falls behind the other at the last possible second or just stays beside his buddy in my lane. He may scoot more to the side a bit but it can feel uncomfortably close. It just sometimes feels almost aggressive - at least to me. If Iām overly concerned I just stop and step off the trail into the grass. Often times when older male bikers pass or are coming toward me, I think to myself, āFeet before wheels, dude.ā E-bikers can be far worse, but my assumption is they arenāt as familiar with the, ārules,ā as they should be.
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A few weeks ago I was behind an elderly woman in the self checkout lane. Only one regular lane was open and it was backed up down the aisle. I could see immediately that she had no idea what to do. Store employee head in a phone. The poor woman was terrified . I scanned all her items, bagged them and she gave me her card to pay. She tried to help for a moment, but then just stepped back and kept thanking me. The employee never came over. After she left ( her H was waiting in the car) and I started my own order the guy behind me says āwhy would she even come here at a busy time? Entitled! Youāre a better person than me.ā Huh? Yes, yes I am a better person than you.
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Both jerks and needed some response. Iād probably say āKarma sucks. Youāll find out one day.ā
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It does seem there is more of a tendency to assume the worst of situations which leads to more negative reactions. As for the OP post, the guy seems to have some emotional issues.
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I donāt get at all how anyone could have thought the women was entitled. Seems to me she was pretty darn humble.
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I find a LOT of people oblivious of their surroundings today - 1) constantly blocking of the grocery aisles while they are perusing up/down looking for something without scooting their cart out of the way; or 2) standing in front of the pharmacist filling out a 2 page form on a clipboard for a vaccine when there are chairs you can sit in so the person behind you can quickly pick up a prescription and go; or 3) when drivers drop off a passenger at the grocery store and then instead of parking toward the end of the parking lot with a good view when you come, they park right in front of the store blocking the pedestrian crosswalk!!! I honestly donāt think they are being jerks on purpose, they just have no awareness of other people around them and how they impact others. Can you tell how frustrated I am when I get back from my Publix grocery shopping? More and more is going in my trunk by Walmart online.
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Youāre right! I do think the guys does have some emotional issues and is immature. Yes, some people always assume the worst.
Same here! People are more selfish these days and itās such as shame.
Well said. I also try to be aware of what I say to strangers. And if I make a complaint, say at a business, I try to be friendly about it, I find they are more likely to help and the person helping me is usually much nicer and willing to go above and beyond. Itās amazing how far being nice and polite gets you.
Thatās another thing I notice more these days, people throwing the word āentitledā around when the thing theyāre talking about isnāt entitlement at all. Itās also entitled for the guy saying that the elderly lady shopping at a busy time is entitled, god forbid that man has to wait a few minutes longer in the grocery line. Strangers are not required to plan their shopping schedule around some impatient man in line. Entitled people often donāt realize theyāre entitled, and they have no issue saying everyone else is entitled.
In my area, Iād say a majority of cyclists are fine. But some arenāt. Same with drivers. What I see a lot is people who donāt slow down in a school zone or stop when a school bus is loading or unloading. They just speed on through. I was going through a school zone and the lights were flashing and some guy was tailgating me and honking at me and then passed me aggressively. Excuse me? I donāt want to get a ticket for speeding in school zone and I certainly donāt want to hit a kid. My D has a friend whose older brother was hit and killed by a speeding driver, who didnāt stop, as he was getting off the school bus. He was 6 years old and had just finished his first day of kindergarten and the family had just moved to SOCAL from New York a few weeks before. Dās friend was 3. Iām sure people would feel differently about speeding if it was someone they knewā¦
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Side note to my other comments: if people are anything like me they are touchy and edgy because they are laying awake at night worrying about a million things in our world and suffering from lack of sleep!
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Yep! Iāve been seeing that a lot too. Especially in the Target, Trader Joeās and Whole Foods parking lots. I see people park right in front of the entrance to whole foods (which is for loading and unloading only) and just go in and shop. They arenāt loading and unloading, they arenāt dropping anyone off. Theyāre just too lazy to park in the parking lot and walk 20 feet further. I also see people park in the handicapped spot when they arenāt handicapped. Or park in the pickup spots, but they arenāt picking up. Theyāre just going in to do their shopping. Another thing I see that annoys me, is people who refuse to give their seats up to elderly or disabled people. The other day were waiting to be seated at a restaurant and there was a mom and dad (probably in their 30ās) and 2 elementary aged kids (both on their phones) who took up a whole bench and refused to get up for the elderly lady with a cane who clearly needed to sit and her husband who was hunched over and on oxygen. I was at another restaurant and there was a teenaged girl on crutches who was all sweaty (it was a hot day) and the 3 young men sitting on the chairs refused to get up to let her sit down. I know sheās a teenaged girl, but I was on crutches once during the summer and it was exhausting.
In my area it seems that drivers of Teslas, Cyber trucks, and pickup trucks are the ones who park where they arenāt supposed to, tailgate, park where they block walk ways, etc. In the town where my stepdad lives you get a lot of drivers in lifted pick up trucks with the huge American flag on the back, who will cut you off and blow their exhaust at youā¦
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My friend who teaches young children says that during covid shut down, many kids didnāt socialize and donāt really know HOW to. Heās had to spend a lot of time and energy teaching them basic social skills and how to be kind to one another can care about others.
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DH and I noticed how nice people are when we visit DS at school. He thought it was just at the school, but then realized it was the entire area. In lots of places, theyāre Midwest Nice, or Polite Southerners by culture or training, but we find in Northern Colorado, they seem like they are just genuinely nice because theyāre enjoying life. They have no reason to try to be nice, they just are.
I think I generally treat people well. Because I work with anxious parents, I see a lot of behavior that people would call mean or rude as anxiety that is causing someone to act out, so I tend to stay calm in return. After going through various things in my life, Iāve also realized that you never know what someone else is going through that day. I remember stopping at a store after I left the hospital the day my father died and thinking that no one in the store knew what just happened. They were just going about their day is it was a regular day. Because for them it probably was. But maybe the man next to me just lost his wife. Or the cashier was worried about a sick kid.
I can tell you Iām NOT nice when I have to deal with most customer service. If a real human picks up the phone and can be helpful, Iām more than nice and polite. If I have to go through AI bots to get to you and/or you can do nothing but read off of a decision tree or scripts, you are not going to get the best version of me, even though it might not be your fault. Not to be that person, but you might as well just put the manager on, because that is where this is heading.
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People think that learning is behind because kids missed academic time during Covid and that we should have caught up by now. For the first year back after Covid, our district chose to prioritize social emotional learning over academics. I would say that this is what has held students back more than losing academic time. I took so much time out of instruction and it needed to continue for more than one year. So, not only was academic time lost, but the entire balance and culture of being able to do group work, independent work, follow instructions, attend to an adult at the front of the room, or socialize was disrupted. Truthfully, I donāt think all of those things tanked just because of Covid. Students were struggling with these things before Covid, but I think Covid brought it to the surface. Between the isolation and the dependence of screens, which only became worse, we just saw an acceleration.
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This made me LOL. I get more and more frustrated with stuff like this, so my default answer to when a human actually picks up the phone and asks āHow are you today?ā I respond with a non-angry āI will be a lot better once my issue is resolved, and thank God I have finally have a live person to talk to.ā
I try NOT to get angry, but of course after spending HOURS over many days trying to resolve an issue, I can get testy. But recently, I was fussing hard on the phone to a doctorās office who wouldnāt schedule the follow-up H desperately need THAT week before surgery because they needed documents sent over from someone else. The other office had sent them and I could see them in the officeās portal. They are there! Canāt we move forward? No. ARGH! I was not the most polite trying to figure out how we could hurry it up. An hour later I had to call back and the same person answeredā¦ I apologized to her for being so ugly.
To the original question - yes! I have noticed. I remember noticing it roughly 10 years ago. Everyone felt ādisrespectedā and would fly off the handle. I REALLY noticed after spending the week in the Canadian Rockies. 1200 miles and nobody tailgated us or cut us off once! Back home, itās nuts. And it just feels like everyone is walking around on edge just waiting for a fight.
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My daughter and sil, whoās from New Jersey were here last weekend.
I think northern Michigan is like a foreign country to him. You have conversations with strangers on the trail. You have conversations with the waitress. You definitely talk about the weather everywhere
You run into your friends and neighbors when you are hours from home. Happened to us and to my bilās girlfriend. People in line talk to you. They share their menus.
My husband was at his parents when his mom was in the hospital. The employee at the local Kroger was very helpful. He did not know how to weigh the bananas. Didnāt know that Diet Coke was buy 2 get 2 free. Definitely did not have the card. Employee helped him through it all.
I had to mow the lawn, he had to go to the self checkout. We never want to trade those chores ever again!
Saying that, yes I do think social media has made it us all more on edge. I know I am. We hear the Cadillac commercial. All. The. Time! What about me! Seriously I think thatās some of whatās wrong! We became a country of me and not we.
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Well, Iām happy to say I donāt see it. I would be devastated to have some of the encounters described here. As I go through my day I just donāt see rude or angry people. Maybe because I live in the heartland or because CC is as close to social media as I get.
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I found the same thing at my sonās college (Auburn) in Alabama. I donāt agree with any of their politics but darn if they arenāt the nicest, politest group of strangers Iāve ever met. Just stay off topic about religion and politics and youād think you were in Canada. Super friendly without over-reaching.
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I hope Iām not ruder, but I am definitely more easily angered these days. I have to actively work at my mental health in a way that I never did 10 years ago (curate my news and social media intake, work at getting outside and off the computer, hang out with friends, do yoga, etc etc). Things really piss me off so much more easily. I am Southern and live in the South where there is still some Southern hospitality (although itās not what it was for better or worse) and I think Iām pretty nice and not rude in my in-person interactions with others, but it seems like if you scratch my surface there is a seething cauldron of anger underneath almost all to do with ācurrent eventsā. I do find that I do not think āmost people are goodā like I used to.
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