<p>The husband of a friend of mine reads her e-mail (often before she gets a chance to). He gets up before her in the morning, reads all of her e-mails, then talks to her about them. He will also read them while he’s at work during the day. Sometimes when I send her an e-mail, I get a response from him. It’s a bit unsettling. She has no problem whatsoever with this (at least that’s what she says). I’m not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that he used to work in military intelligence.</p>
<p>Is it just me or does this seem very unusual? My H and I both have our own e-mail accounts which we do not share with each other.</p>
<p>I’d like to hear what you think about this.</p>
<p>Thats creepy. I don’t even know my DH’s email password on his personal or business account. Doubt he knows mine. We should probably share that… just in case…</p>
<p>Other than that, I have enough of my OWN emails to read. No time or interest in reading anyone elses!!</p>
<p>Dh knows my password and vice versa, but neither of us reads the others’ msgs. It’s for emergencies – though, really, we both forget because we use them so rarely and have to ask for them each time. I wouldn’t like him reading my personal e-mail AT ALL.</p>
<p>No I don’t read my husbands emails. My email address is where all the family emails get sent. But DH doesn’t read those either. He just asks me what they say and if there are any questions he has to answer. If so, he responds. If not, I do. </p>
<p>My husband doesn’t read my snail mail either…and I don’t read his.</p>
<p>I suspect that your friend is used to her husband controlling aspects of their marriage that might not sit well with some of us. I doubt it’s just the email. Yes, it’s strange, and very intrusive. I can’t imagine any of my family members reading each others’ email without an invitation to do so.</p>
<p>But yeah, probably nobody’s business but theirs.</p>
<p>I would ask her q question about periods, menopause, home ones, cake recipes, dogs, shoes, bad jokes about marriage, whatever.</p>
<p>I get my husbands business email to my blackberry. He is a contractor and often can’t respnd in a timely fashion. His personal email I set up so i now the passwords, but it’s just golf and really bad jokes. I couldn’t be bothered.</p>
<p>he doesn’t se my email, though it’s just eh stuff. He couldn’t be bothered either.</p>
<p>I do have a friend who used her work email for all kinds of stuff, including communication re divorcing husband. I suggested she set up a private email. As her email was through the high school she worked at, they said they has the right to the emails if ever there was an accusation or whatever. So just in case, she finally set up her own. Husband doesn’t even know it exists, so can’t see or ask about divorce lawyers, her new friends.</p>
<p>Getting an email from a spouse would be weird of it was addressed to her.</p>
<p>DH and I have one shared email account that we have had since… 1990? … As soon as email accounts became available. We use it for most of our family mail. Listed as the email contact for kids schools, social contacts, anytime either of us opens an account and an email is requested, etc. </p>
<p>I look at it as the equivalent of a home phone number or our home mailing address. Generally, if an email looks like it is for him I don’t open it, and vice versa, but we wouldn’t care at all if one of us opened the other’s mail. That also applies to our snail mail. We just don’t have secrets.</p>
<p>Neither of us cares if the other opens our cell phone texts either.</p>
<p>We would never treat our children’s email accounts or cell phones or snail mail this way, by the way. I don’t have their passwords to access any of their accounts.</p>
<p>DH has a work blackberry and several work email accounts. I don’t have the passwords to access any of his work accounts. I wouldn’t dream of looking through his work emails/texts even if I could.</p>
<p>DH is active duty military, and occasionally deploys for six months or more at a time. We need to be able to access each other’s accounts for that reason, as I am occasionally the only person available. He is sometimes unavailable to check accounts and email for a few weeks at a time.</p>
<p>I have to be very careful when I send e-mails to her to make sure I don’t say anything I don’t want him to read. There may be friends or other people who e-mail her who aren’t aware he is reading them. It’s similar to having a phone conversation with a friend and the husband is listening on the other line but you’re not aware of it.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine ! Honestly, it blows my mind that someone would do that. And it is not the part about having access to each others account, it is the part about discussing it…unless she has some very important position and he is her press secretary ;)</p>
<p>DH and I have our professional accounts which we do not share access to, but we have no problem letting each other read some e-mails (if they are interesting/amusing). We both have access to our joined e-mail account, but in reality it is only I that ever checks that e-mail. Even though DH’s computer has an elaborate safety system to get on (required by work), I know all the passwords and am able to log on if needed. Never had a need though ;)</p>
<p>Just out of curiosity, what kinds of emails do people send to their friends that you wouldn’t want their spouse to see? </p>
<p>I have plenty of intimate conversations with friends that we wouldn’t share with our spouses, but I’ve never written an email that was that private.</p>
<p>I don’t tell my spouse about all my conversations with my friends. He doesn’t tell me. Some things are just priv-ate.</p>
<p>And some spouses are not my friends. My husband has a couple of friends I find irrating. </p>
<p>And it doesn’t matter what the op is saying. She isn’t talking to the husband, she’s talking to the wife. </p>
<p>When we go it with other couples, the wives often have conversations we don’t share with the men folks. I have lots of conversations I don’t run and tell my husband.</p>
<p>I guess I’ve always treated emails the way I treat other forms of written communication.</p>
<p>As my mother once taught me, never put anything in writing that you wouldn’t want to see printed on the front page of the newspaper. In this era of the internet, I think that advice is even more important.</p>
<p>I would say in theory that my husband and I don’t have “secrets,” but that doesn’t mean that people who write me emails think that marriage gives my husband a right to read what THEY have written me in confidence. Most of my email correspondence is rather benign in nature, but some of it IS the type of thing that should remain between the two parties. I don’t view the fact that I prefer to have private correspondence with my friends to be any sign of a crack in the level of intimacy and trust I share with my husband. I just don’t believe married people have to share EVERYTHING, particularly when it concerns the private issues of my friends.</p>
<p>Everyone in the family has access to my email because the iPad has access to it. I can read my wife’s email as I have her passwords. I don’t have access to the kids’ email accounts. In practice, nobody reads the emails of others - I think due to lack of interest.</p>
Honestly, it blows my mind that someone would do that. And it is not the part about having access to each others account, it is the part about discussing it…unless she has some very important position and he is her press secretary ;)</p>