<p><a href=“http://www.plannedparenthood.org/”>http://www.plannedparenthood.org/</a></p>
<p>I dont think she is on birth control but not telling me. </p>
<p>My daughter and I couldn’t always talk face-to-face but we could talk in the car, and text/email.</p>
<p>she is rebelling against her parents. I have to find a way to talk to her, not accuse her. I did send a couple emails to her after last time I met her, but no responses.</p>
<p>Some planned parenthood are not near college campuses. This is handled quite well at most student health centers. The practitioner who does the exam and prescribes the birth control is the one who also counsels her. If she needs extra time, surely there is a nurse at student health who can help. </p>
<p>OP first talk to your daughter and encourage her to make an appointment at student health for a birth control visit. When she is there, she can ask questions and ask for more help from a nurse if she needs to. </p>
<p>OP also tell your daughter that her visit is confidential. All you want for her is for her to be healthy and safe. She doesn’t need to tell you what she decides, but you could ask her to go for at least the information and a health check if she is willing. </p>
<p>Yes, I think that would be good to have her talk to student health. She did have physical check up per year, yes, I was asked to leave the room.</p>
<p>xxParentxx - it is obvious that you care for your daughter very much and are concerned about her emotional and physical well-being. Hugs to you!</p>
<p>I found out that my own D was having sex with her boyfriend when she was 18. Even though they were using condoms, she (and I) thought it best that she also use a back-up method of birth control. I helped her find an OBGYN that she felt comfortable with, and she and I talked a LOT about the whole situation - birth control, sex, the emotional consequences of a physical relationship, you name it.</p>
<p>A lot of it felt uncomfortable at first. Many times I felt I was doing everything “all wrong.” Looking back on it now, though, I think the whole thing brought us much, much closer together…as weird as it sounds.</p>
<p>Just my opinion - I think you should be careful on how you phrase this talk with your daughter. Are you most worried that she is being taken advantage of? Then you should probably tackle this first (ALONG WITH THE BIRTH CONTROL, of course), and make sure she is emotionally in a “good place.” </p>
<p>I don’t think it would be a good idea to talk to the boy (you mentioned this earlier in the thread). This is really between you and your daughter - and of course, between your daughter and the boy. </p>
<p>It sounds like when the OP says her daughter is “simple,” she means sheltered and naive.</p>
<p>my D is like always need to have someone to talk with. Just like she could when she was in HS at home. I think this is how she met this boy. She mentioned and asked me something minor about the boy’s family background. Like where is that region etc. So I knew someone exist. Just last week, I figured out what he as asking her, which I feel sort “insult”, my D also said “such perverted!”, he then said “guys are all like this”. It maybe just sleep over, but I will be worried about the rest. As I also discovered some inappropriate texts. I think I would like to say to her "if it is not appropriate or do not feel comfortable, you dont have to reply. " However, I also do not want she feels I dig too much and knows her privacy. </p>
<p>I really feel for you, OP. I am not a parent, but if I did have a daughter and I thought she wanted to have sex to get a boyfriend or because of low self esteem, I would be very sad, worried, and upset.</p>
<p>If you were my mom, I would be a lot more likely to listen to you if I didn’t feel like you were trying to tell me that you knew better, or I was too immature or simple or naive. I would appreciate an adult-to-adult conversation, where you would tell me it’s my choice but talk to me honestly about the issues (emotional, physical, people taking advantage or just wanting to have sex without commitment). I would also be more likely to listen if you talked about what you know through personal observation or experience. I am sure it’s a hard topic, but I think you are more likely to be successful if you talk to her very honestly but without trying to force her to do what you say. Also, don’t expect her to immediately agree with you - she may need time to process what you say. I would also not overwhelm her with multiple emails or phone calls. I would talk to her once, face-to-face, and very calmly, without panicking.</p>
<p>Maybe you could also tell her that in your experience some men are like this, maybe even a lot, but not all. She deserves to know that there are better men out there. Sometimes when you are in a certain environment, it seem like the whole world is the same, and you will never find someone better. Maybe you can reassure her that’s not true.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this helps at all - I have just been thinking about this thread a lot. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>@oldmom4896 <a href=“http://www.plannedparenthood.org/”>http://www.plannedparenthood.org/</a> is basically you choose topics then watch the topic video to get education??</p>
<p>@xxParentxx, there’s a lot of information there, you (or your daughter) choose how you want to look/listen/watch it (or not!). Also, you can search for their locations in case your daughter would like to go there for her care rather than student health services. If she will be coming home soon for the summer, perhaps they have an office near your home.</p>
<p>@oldmom4896 I was able to make an apt for her on Saturday near her campus, but the time is random 8:30 - noon. Is it usually first come first serve?</p>
<p>I don’t know but I’m sure that the earlier she gets there, the less she’ll have to wait.</p>
<p>@oldmom4896 you wrote " You can start with Planned Parenthood. I was very careful that however weird it was to talk about it, I always aswered my daughter’s questions about the mechanics of sex, and I told her that many times, young men and young women have different physical reactions, something good to remember. It’s much better to know than not to know."</p>
<p>Do you mean to navigate the Planned Parenthood wbesite with her?</p>
<p>I actually made an apt for her.</p>
<p>To send a website to her that may be helpful to educate herself and know what to expect at the appointment. To make herself a list of questions.</p>
<p>Planned Parenthood is a clinic that offers low cost, and sometimes free services to women. They also don’t typically have a long wait time for an appointment the way a private doctor’s office would. Yes, if they told you between 8:30am - 12 noon then you show up at any time. I recommend going as early as possible so you don’t have to wait as long. The website just provides you with additional information on their services and commonly asked questions and would be useful for your daughter to review before going.</p>
<p>If your daughter wants to rebel against you, then you may need to loosen the reigns a little bit. The harder you push her not to do something, the more appealing that “something” may become. Provide her with information, but like you mentioned earlier, do not accuse or otherwise tell her what to do. Let her know that you respect her as an adult, but want her to be healthy and safe. That could mean a lot to her and get her to open up more to you. Listen rather than talk at her if she gives you that opportunity.</p>
<p>The only other suggestion I would offer is to encourage your daughter to be more involved in clubs and organizations on campus. It sounds like she has not made any long term, meaningful friendships. She needs to broaden her circle and meet more like-minded individuals. Are there other students on campus who share her cultural background? She could start her own organization, or join an existing one. As for her grades dropping - maybe she could join or start a study group to meet new people. There are so many options in college, and hopefully she isn’t ignoring them all for this one boy. But if he’s giving her the most attention, and it is desirable attention, it will be hard to convince her of anything else. </p>
<p>one more thing that occurred to me, @xxparentxx, just because you have access to your daughter’s texts, Facebook, etc., doesn’t mean you should keep track of it all, all the time. She’s 20 years old and in my very humble opinion, regardless of how naive or inexperienced she may be, it’s time for her to make her own way. No one grows up without some bumps and bruises (metaphorical I hope!) along the way. It’s hard to let go of the idea that we, as parents, have to steer the way but we have to let go. Again, in my very humble opinion as the mother of a mouthy opinionated 18-year-old.</p>
<p>I found that the on-campus health service at my university was extremely understanding and supportive when it came to counseling young women on birth control and GYN exams. </p>
<p>And so she knows, a young woman can get preg</p>