<p>Wonderful eyemamom. It sounds like a win-win conversation starter.</p>
<p>=D> </p>
<p>Glad you spoke to her rather than DH. That was the right thing to do</p>
<p>Good job. : ) Best wishes going forward.</p>
<p>Great update! You certainly did the right thing.</p>
<p>Well done. Please report back!</p>
<p>Good that your SIL respects you and sees you as an ally. Clearly, she has noticed all of your efforts. It could be so isolating to feel you had concerns and no one to speak with about your child . Her comments reveal that “how he does” is an ongoing focus at home. Bet you feel a sense of relief, also, </p>
<p>Another encouraging point for parents is that it is often easier and more effective to engage kids in evaluations/treatment prior to adolescence. Kids tend to be less shut down and parents more directly connected to the process (not to mention the sooner the better).</p>
<p>Ditto what everyone else is saying. Great job all around, including your SIL’s response to you. </p>
<p>I’m still hoping for SKS to help me out with the oppositional thing. I need to be educated. </p>
<p>Granted it’s wikipedia, but here is a rundown of what ODD is: <a href=“Oppositional defiant disorder - Wikipedia”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorder</a></p>
<p>^ Thank you. I tried to google, but I was getting the name wrong, so GIGO. </p>
<p>You did great. I’m sure it wasn’t so easy when she tried to suggest he had issues with you (perhaps implying you more than others), but then you both were open and left the door open for future conversations.</p>
<p>The SIL is implying OP is a person her son is having problem with, another word he doesn’t have issues with other people.</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>Yes, that is a concern. If the SIL just thinks the issue is with the OP, then she’s still in denial. I am very concerned about the younger sibling and small animals. </p>
<p>She did mention they were working with him having major outbursts at home when he didn’t get his way. I’m hoping things start adding up for her. I didn’t think my first conversation out of the gate would be well received if I started piling on. The first issue is me, then the world at large. She was very into the notion that omg…you’re like the nicest one of all, if he’s rude to you there’s a problem. </p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>Well, hopefully this will put a bug in her ear…but I also hope she gets him into serious therapy…and with a psychologist. </p>
<p>This sounds like:
Conduct disorder (CD) is a psychological disorder diagnosed in childhood or adolescence that presents itself through a repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic rights of others or major age-appropriate norms are violated. These behaviors are often referred to as “antisocial behaviors.”[1] It is often seen as the precursor to antisocial personality disorder, which is not diagnosed until the individual is 18 years old.[2]</p>
<p>The above is from wikipedia and therefore may not be totally accurate.</p>
<p>So glad you did this and that you have preserved a good relationship with her, as she will need your help through this tough time ahead. It’s good that she sees you as an ally and that as a family they are working on it. Perhaps ask if the pediatrician has any suggestions next time she may bring something up. Pediatricians are used to working with all kinds if kids and issues and should have recommendations on therapists that can help.</p>
<p>
There were many missed opportunities by many people. It’s not just Nancy Lanza. I think this report is so interesting that it deserves its own thread. </p>
<p>I don’t know why, but this story reminds me of that Dr. Amy Bishop, that former professor who killed and injured several colleagues at UAH when she didn’t get tenure. (the spouse of a friend was shot and he lost an eye, but miraculously didn’t suffer brain damage).</p>
<p>As many of us know, when she was much younger, she shot and killed her brother (who she was jealous of), but the mom convinced authorities that the shooting was an accident. </p>
<p>She also had a history of blowing up at people over strange things (like a child’s booster seat) at a restaurant (I can’t remember the details, but I think she shoved another parent over this and declared something like, “do you know who I am.” (or similar) </p>
<p>So important to have complete physical, neurological and psychiatric work up. Accurate diagnosis is key to determining optimal treatment and how family, school and professionals can approach this in the most constructive ways possible. These behaviors may occur in a variety of contexts, impossible to assess definitely without a comprehensive look. Hoping this family can find their “team”.</p>
<p>I’m waiting to hear back from her about the conversation she has with her son and husband. What would you say my role and responsibility is now?</p>