I have had a Best Friend since childhood… for 45 years. We went to college together. We have talked at least once a day ( with a few limited exceptions…our honeymoons and a few vacations in the pre cell phone days) for all those years. Except for a few vacations we’ve never gone more than a week without seeing each other.
Sometimes I tell some people I have a Best Friend and I feel like they don’t really know what I mean. They’ll say something like " oh me too, I only talk to her once or twice a year but we always really connect when we do". To me that’s like saying you have a boyfriend you talk to once or twice a year. Lol.
How about the rest of you? Best Friend? If so, how often do you see or talk to each other?
I haven’t had a best friend like that since middle and high school - who pretty much forgot about my existence when she got married at 19. I’ve had many short and long term casual friends and neighbors over the years, but no one like my high school bestie. I’m jealous that you have someone like that, you should consider yourself very blessed.
@abasket If I lived near you, I’d submit my application .
You bet! We met as neighbors right after we had our first babies, so 32 years ago. Saw each other every day until we moved out of state in 1999. We have a standing phone date every Sunday and our families know not to bother us then unless it is an emergency! We also text back and forth several times a week. We both feel so fortunate in that our husbands and kids are also close and we feel like family.
I had one for almost 30 years. I stopped taking her calls when I had marriage problems. I knew that I couldn’t conceal them from her and that she would urge me to leave my H and she would be right, so I just started avoiding her calls. More than 10 years later, I miss her SO much. I don’t regret not leaving my H - I would have lost custody of my children and had to pay him child support because he was the stay at home, but I miss my friend every day. But contacting her would mean admitting why I stopped talking to her and I can’t share that info with anyone IRL. Nobody knows. Now, I have friends but no BEST friend because I can’t allow myself to get that close to anyone again.
Had a couple in middle & HS (sequential). But not lifelong.
Honestly, the BF concept can be hurtful. My D1 had a couple of close friends growing up who were each other’s BFs. They’d do a lot of things that didn’t include others – but then be insulted if they weren’t invited to every activity my kid did.
I have a couple especially close friends as an adult (one from college and one in the city I lived in after college). They both have other friends they refer to as their “best friends” – I can’t help but think, “What am I, chopped liver?” when they use that phrase.
D1 is asking her fiance’s sister to be maid of honor in her wedding (D2 is terrified of the idea, and wants to just be a bridesmaid). I asked D1 why she wasn’t asking one of her other bridesmaids who have been friends for much longer – D1 said because at least two of them THINK she is their BF, and there would be hurt feelings.
I do. My friend is someone I’ve known for 54 years. We don’t talk daily or even weekly…but this is the person I KNOW I could turn to at any time for any reason, and she would be there for me.
No but only because everyone understands that relationship. “I see/ talk to my spouse everyday” is standard. You don’t have to wonder if people will understand why you need time off from work because your spouse is having surgery. etc…
Peoples spouses can also be their best friend. But it’s different than what I mean.
I had a childhood friend that I considered my bestie up through HS and after we had kids but we grew apart. My college friend is who I consider my bestie now…her and another gal I became friends with when our kids were young. They’re my ride or die girls. We do go long periods without speaking on the phone, but we’re on Facebook and comment on each other’s posts all the time. They’re like sisters to me.
I think it is unusual regardless of the gender. Out of all my siblings, it’s my brother who has the lifelong best friend. They’ve been buddies since middle school and actually work together now.
I don’t have a best friend and haven’t since high school. I am very introverted and love to be alone so I haven’t really nurtured a friendship. I have many “not best” friends, though, that I have had since elementary school. A couple of them live in my neighborhood and I know I can call on them if needed and vice versa. There are five of us (now 4 since one passed) who have gotten together for dinner once a year or so for the last 25 years. I also have a newer friend in a different town who has season tickets with me to a local theater so I see her regularly for dinner and a play.
My high school BF and I drifted apart when we went to different colleges. She now lives 6 hours away.
I do. We’ve been friends since we we 18. When we get together we can laugh till we cry. We live 1500 miles apart but talk and text frequently. Tomorrow is her birthday as a matter of fact.
@DonnaL my dad did until about 2 years ago. They were best friends since 3rd grade and talked regularly.
There was something on the friend’s side that got to be too much and my dad had to cut him out of our lives. I know it hurts him but he doesn’t show it.
I’m sad because his kids were like sisters to me and now we rarely talk. (They’re not mad or anything, we just are all really busy and don’t get together several times a year like we used to.)
“Do men ever admit to having a lifelong “best friend” to whom they’re as close as the ones described here? I think it’s pretty unusual”
My brother does and it’s an even longer relationship,than mine with my best friend. They’ve been friends for 51 years ( since kindergarten). They talk on the phone pretty much daily which is very unusual for men I think . When our family had money issues when we were in college my brothers best friend who came from a very wealthy family rented a two bedroom apartment and told my brother his family agreed my brother should just live in it with him rent free!
My best friend is H, but I have 2 friends I’ve been close to since we were 12 years old. We get together when we are in the same town. We have traveled with one of my friends–her H and their 2 kids plus our 2 kids and sometimes as just 2 couples on multiple trips lasting 1-2 weeks. We have stayed at each other’s homes many times. We connect as often as we can but not daily and not even monthly. Our kids listed them as their emergency contact in college and they had an open invitation to spend holidays with them (they did spend several Thanksgivings and Easters with them).
The other friend lives in NM. We see her (and any family members) when she/they are in town or if we can coordinate getting together on the continental US–DC, Denver or other city or NM.
H has a best friend he’s known nearly 70 years. They communicate periodically and live less than 10 miles apart. We have traveled with him as well and get together from time to time.
My best male friend I’ve known since I was age 3, and he recently moved to my area. It has been a change to reconnect, but I’m liking it. I’m FB friends with a few of my closest from elementary school. I always seem to have a bestie from every period of my life, and I treasure these connections.
I’ve had a best friend for about 20 years or so. There’s something really comforting about having a friend that close.
I’ve had various “best friends” over the years but life events and geography have made those relationships fade. I am still very close to my best friend from college but we talk every few months and try to go away for a weekend a year but it ends up being more like every third year and while we’d share anything and be there in an emergency, it’s not like the OP is describing (at least anymore since we’ve lived far from one another for so many years).
DH still has his best friend he met when he was 8. They talk every few weeks and he and his wife recently moved from across the country to about 1.5h from us and we’re looking forward to monthly get togethers.
It’s one of those things I’ve found elusive. I’m somewhat introverted, but enjoy outgoing people. They always seem to have dozens of best friends. I do have a handful of friends that I’ve remained close with through the years, but never one best friend.
