My H is truly my best friend, but I don’t currently have someone I refer to as my BFF, and that makes me sad. It’s a combo of a lot of things - my HS BFFs have become insane workaholics and just don’t seem to return calls/emails even though we live geographically close. It’s become painful enough for me that I have stopped trying to initiate things.
I had 2 really good friends from when my kids were tiny, we were in the same playgroup and the kids bonded. First one moved and then the other and that really threw me for a loop. I think I unconsciously held back from getting close to other women after that.
Now I have a ton of friends - from lots of different circles. But i don’t have that core one or two that know you inside and out. My kids had some issues when they were younger and we never developed friendships with other families, the type where you all cook dinner together or hang out at one another’s houses.
It’s funny but sometimes I find myself analyzing other women’s friendships, trying to figure out how they got close to another friend. I do think I have a pretty high threshold for friends though, too. I’m an introvert who really wants to be an extrovert! :))
Yes. In fact when i bought a new home I bought it within close walking distance. Sometimes we go in a short wave where there won’t be a ton of interaction due to unusual circumstances but now we talk or see each other like 5 days a week. My daughter is bffs with her daughters (which is actually how we met 10 years ago) and considers their house a second home. I think she likes my bff’s cooking better.
My H has a best friend and when they were young worked in hospitality in various states together. They still talk once a week and breakfast lots of Mondays. In fact he just texted last night for a ride to the airport.
DH has two childhood friends who live on the opposite coast. They get together for a golf week once a year. I have always had a large group of friends and it can be good and bad. I’m going through a phase where I want some time alone. There’s so much drama within my social group that its been overwhelming.
I have a dear best friend whom I’ve known and been close to for 40 years. But we aren’t so into each other’s lives that we speak every day. Probably once a week and we do lunch or attend classes together as well.
I had another “best” friend who passed away in 2005. I really do miss her a lot.
Growing up my parents were best friends with another couple. We spent EVERY weekend together at one of our houses, the kids playing outside and the grown-ups playing cards or something. They were like a second family to me. Both passed away about 20 years ago (in their early 60s) and my parents never cultivated another friendship like that. When I married, I longed for a couple that my H and I could bond with, but he and I were so different that he didn’t really like my friends’ spouses and I wasn’t close to his friends. I really missed that.
I have been divorced 21 years now, and all my old friends are married so it’s hard to find a time to get together. They spend their weekends and evenings with their husbands. Most have grandkids now, so our lives have gone different directions. I guess my best friend is my dog!
I’ve known my oldest and best friend since high school. Two years ago, she started dating a guy with all kinds of problems and would treat her very badly. She would complain about him and sometimes even briefly stay with me to get away from him. She is still with him (in fact giving him a free place to stay), though, and I cannot stand to be around him or to listen to her complain about him. I know it’s selfish, but I’ve been avoiding her for quite some time now because I can’t deal with all of her drama.
I would love to make some new good friends. I miss having that bond.
I have 2 best friends (who are actually best friends too) we’re inching into our 43rd year as best friends. We met at the same time. What makes our relationship unique (I think) is when we met I was 16, the others were 24 and 35. Now we are 59, 67 & 78! We’ve been through thick and thin together, raised our families together, and even when we lived far apart over the years we talk almost daily. And it’s not a ‘check-in’ it’s an hour plus! We see each other a few times a month (we live 50 miles apart from one another). I’m (as the youngest) not looking forward to the day we will have to say good bye. I’m closer to them than I was to my own parents.
Yes, but we live far apart from each other unfortunately. I know she’d be there for me, and I’m here for her, even if it’s just virtual for now. I am also sort of spoiled by my relationship with my sisters . . . that’s my “text the latest” sort of relationship. Wish I pushed myself a little more to have outside friendships.
PS: Love that you have that kind of friendship OP!
I do have a best friend who I’ve know since my sophomore year old college. She lives in CA and I’m in NY, so we only see each other about once a year - but we talk on the phone several times a week. I also have a very tight knit group of girlfriends where I live and who I’ve know for over 25 years. We play tennis and mah jongg together and have lunch once a week.
I think I figured out why I don’t have a best friend…I HATE talking on the phone!!!
I had best friends in high school and most of college…but we all went separate ways in different places…
I admire those who do have a best friend…but I’m also ok without one. I am not hugely social and for me, work and family has always seemed enough. Enjoy hearing your stories though!
I can relate, @abasket - I’m not very social either. I have 3 friends…my 2 best, and a 3rd, a man, who I’ve been friends with more than 25 years, and we travel together, go to the theater, and other things (it’s not romantic). I don’t really socialize otherwise. At work I’ve been chastised a bit for not wanting to go to happy hour, etc. I just don’t enjoy small talk. I’d rather be alone and do something I enjoy than hang out and talk about blah, blah, blah!
I have a lot of good friends from middle and HIgh school, but the best friend is from elementary 34 years ago. We live in different countries, but have a phone call each a week or two.
When we were teens we met 10 guys in weeks days, but fridays or Saturdays always we were like 20.
Someone had a friend and introduced him and so grew the group we were like 60 so we always got minimum 20 on the weekend.
That was possible because in my country you don’t have dorms in College, you continue living with parents until bachelor o more.
Normally we make the meetings in the same houses in our neighborhood.
Many of them married with someone from the group, and we had children who also became friends
My childhood friend called tonight to see how I was doing, with Irma approaching. My local friend, who was my bestie for years as our Boys grew up together, also offered for me to stay with her. I feel blessed. Many other calls of support.
I met my best friend 37 years ago during my freshman year of college in Kentucky. I met her through her brother, who I was dating at the time. She was just a high school junior at the time and, when her brother and I broke up the next year, she and I lost touch. When she graduated high school, she attended the same college we did, so we would occasionally run in to one another, but didn’t hang out at that time. I met my husband at school in 1982, married in 1984, and moved to Nashville where he’d been born and raised.
Fast forward to July 1988. DD was two months old and, while browsing through birth announcements in the local paper, I saw that my BFF had married her brother’s roommate, who had also been a college friend of mine, and they lived just three miles from us and had just had a baby girl. I got the phone book out, found their number and called her to bring the baby and come to my house for lunch. She came over the next day and we, and our daughters and husbands, have been inseparable since. Several years later, they moved 20 minutes south where we visited them so frequently, and loved the area so much, that we decided to move here, too. It just so happens the house directly behind them was for sale, so we bought it and have been backdoor neighbors for 15 years. Our extended families became close, too, and when our girls graduated high school in 2006, 20 of us went on a “family cruise”.
Had it not been for them, I’m not sure I would have survived the past two years. My husband died last year after battling an aggressive cancer. They were my lifeline and remain so today. I cannot imagine my life without them.
I do. I met her when we moved to our neighborhood twenty years ago. In many ways, we are not alike but I think she brings out the best in me. Her husband has a high powered job and I am not connected to his work circle or her church circle so she has always felt she could trust me to hear her rants about things. We walk dogs together and let off steam. Neither our kids or our husbands have ever socialized together. And yes, my dh has his own best friend. They go to concerts and off road biking together.
Not 1, I like to say about 4. 2 from my teens that I see 2+ times a year though they live far, and 2 I got close to as an adult and live near. Other friends for sure, but those are the core four and only 2 know each other.
