S attends a university overseas. It’s hard to buy him “stuff” and he just wants money so he can travel. That’s fine with me and my family. We’ll see how that goes with H’s family because they love to shop and give gifts that can be wrapped.
D will be taking the GMAT soon and SIL needs a new passport (now that he is a US citizen) so we are probably giving them money to use toward that.
I would rather give them money/what they want or need than just buy “stuff”.
why not just get her the exact thing she wants?
i grew up with a father who loved christmas but for some reason, he’d try to put his own spin on whatever one wanted, and it typically was an epic fail. to this day we lol about it.
a perfect example is the year i wanted “fashion” cowboy boots that were the height of teenage style…as in like the wild pair…high heels, trendy colors, etc.
i got cowboy boots that year. i got “livin’ on a ranch in texas Dingos”. i have no idea what on earth my father was actually thinking, except to say he believed in good footwear and he perceived that as being the better choice…
i never wore them once. in fact, they are still in my attic, in the box. they are now vintage and probably worth a small forture, lol.
(this is ONE of many, many variations on the same theme!)
so dont veer from the request. if she wants X, Y is not usually an acceptable substitute. and tbh, i’m not an overly demanding, particular kind of person…but if i specifically asked for it, well, thats what i want.
Ha ha ha - have you MET my family? They’re all super picky, except for my D. Since we’d finally gotten to the point that we were just exchanging money and/or gift cards, we’ve decided to ratchet way back on the gifts for the extended family. When/if I feel the “need” to buy something, I tend to buy food or experiences. I’m looking at you, Williams-Sonoma peppermint bark!
That being said, a lot of my Christmas-present-angst is self-inflicted. I’m one of those people who is always on the hunt for the perfect, unexpected, one-of-a-kind gift. It became an obsession and a curse. My favorites were -
Scout- I bought my H a share of G.B Packers stock a few years ago. It is framed and hanging in his office. That was a big hit.
^^^I always regretted not doing that for my son!!!
As a family, we all send links to stuff, lots of links. Then you can choose among links.
For my daughter, for many years I gave her a shopping trip with me: “lunch, two pairs of jeans, one top”. We’d go in the week after Christmas and make an afternoon of it. It was fun for both of us.
And I also got the Orlando thing for D2. Put him on the front porch, rang the doorbell, and stepped away. Big hit. I was sorry when he had to leave.
I have 2 hard to buy for family members. One is my H but I’ve reached the point I don’t buy him much and he is happy with a photo of the kids in a frame from CVC or Ross. My D is the worse. She is hard to please and she also is difficult to get her to give you some clue as to what she might want. I don’t think she means to be difficult. It is a mental issue where she doesn’t like money spent on her. She also can’t wrap her mind around the fact that this won’t be the last gift she will ever receive and she doesn’t have to know this is the gift she absolutely wants. She also has a hard time spending her own money. It’s not that she is cheap but that she needs to know it’s the “right” purchase to make.
Last year we tried to give her miles for the plane ticket for an overseas trip she was planning. She wouldn’t take it and bought her own ticket. We tried to give her a check and she didn’t cash it. So mainly she asks for socks and underwear. This past year we finally gave her a gift in May. We had gone to REI and she saw several things she wanted but didn’t buy them. My H went back and bought everything she had liked. My D loved everything and was very touched that her Dad had been paying attention.
So far this year I found a painting that I think she will love. I will get socks and underwear. A Starbucks gift card. Otherwise I just keep asking her for a list. If she doesn’t give me one I’ll give her a check. What she does with the check is up to her. I hope she cashes it but if not that is her issue not mine.
My S just gave me a great list with the addition at the bottom that he doesn’t need really need anything.
Kid 3 on the other hand has a want list 2 miles long.
I give my H specifics. It makes both of us happy.
Hey, LF - Orlando/Legolas is ‘alive’ and kicking in my basement, if you ever want to come visit. Sometimes I forget he’s there, and then I am startled by his smoldering good looks when I run down to put the towels in the dryer.
Now, if I had a life-size cardboard cutout of Aragorn…! He wouldn’t be stuck in the basement, that’s for sure.
The hard one to buy for in our family is my step-daughter. She offers no suggestions whatsoever, even when asked. She says she doesn’t want anything , but it’s not realistic to do that since she comes over on Christmas morning to open gifts.
She doesn’t really like the things my other daughters like for the most part.
I have gotten lucky at times, other times I see gifts in the original packaging , never used.
One daughter gives a very specific gift wish list …she is easy
Two are in sort of transitional phases of life .
I have given my husband some ideas of things I like.
I have taken notes about things he likes this year too , not one article of clothing !
For tough folks, I lean toward consumables and cash. It’s not my 1st choice, but with sone folks, it’s SO hard!
I’m telling you, for those children that want nothing or give you no ideas, fund a Roth IRA. They’ll thank you later.
How about gift cards to trendy restaurants, their favorite coffee shop, memberships to museums, the local pottery studio, yoga, pilates or cycling studio, or workout gym?
Some in my family think I am hard to buy for. My advice to them: get me something that is as close to something I already have (earrings, sweater, etc) as possible. “But MOM you already have blue bead dangly earrings” “Yes and I love them!”
Of course, I also buy multiples of things I really like. I figure I am old enough I will not be changing my style much.
Thanks everyone! D texted me today apologizing that she’s been super cranky. That helped.
I think she’s like @mom60 D’s. Feels uncomfortable having others spend money on her and spending money on herself also. She is very particular with herself also and I think it’s hard being her.
I like to take D shopper bag and just getting her what fits and she likes. It’s fun and I ignore the price tag.
@deb922 - wish I could triple like your last post.
My son wants for nothing. He would never complain, he just never uses it. For my daughter the way I look at it is I know she likes a few stores, anthropologie, free people, tory Burch. She’ll send me some links but I’ll pick things out I think would look good on her. Sometimes they don’t fit right or she doesn’t like. I view it as a gift card in a sense, I spend x amount and it doesn’t bother me if she exchanges, it becomes a day together and it feels like a shopping spree to her.
My children are the best gift receivers/givers ever. It’s a source of great joy for me, how much they enjoy their Christmas gifts. Both the ridiculous and the sublime.
HOWEVER, this year, DD has THE boyfriend, whom she’s living with and will likely marry. He’s a sweet young man, but I don’t know him very well. Our tradition is to give personal gifts, and also some oddball stocking stuffers (like astronaut ice cream, which isn’t all that strange. I don’t want to suggest that we’re giving out anything particulary weird).
DD has a steampunk aesthetic, and my son is into comedy and jokes, so there’s a lot of possibilities with them. I want to include him in this ritual, so I think I’ll include a stocking for him on our mantel for when they stop by. I will include a gift for his (now their) cat. I don’t want to scare him, I want to welcome him. Our Thanksgiving visit went great, so my goal is to make him smile.
I know he’ll be polite no matter what we give, but I’d like to hit the mark with a fun gift, even if it’s a small one.
I’m pretty tough to buy for, as is DH. We don’t need anything, but our kids really want ideas! I sent a list, including good quality candles, ONE very nice double old-fashioned glass, pictures (from Etsy) of Nikola Tesla wall art for DH’s office, a small pepper/spice grinder, beer glasses and a kitchen timer. After looking at our tree, I think I’m finally done asking for Christmas ornaments, unless they’ve traveled some place fun that would provide a great addition. Even if they’re the kid in the relationship, they should understand that receiving gifts is as much an art as gift giving.
I’m horrid to buy for and we all know it, I don’t want much, and I never want anyone to pay full retail, and if it is not just right, then I feel like it was a waste. I try to keep a list of small things I see all year that interest me so I can make a list, I am supposed to ask for a $200 item and just have not come up with anything 