<p>* you need to learn about savings, retirement, long-term care, etc before you decide that people in their 50’s have more money than they could ever need and can give it away*</p>
<p>I expect that those things are easier to think about & deal with if you don’t have first hand experience with lay-offs, strikes, lock outs, downsizing, insurance that doesn’t cover medical care, COBRA payments, unemployment, underemployment, wage freezes, salary downgrades, salary caps, and a budget that was bare bones to start with.
;)</p>
My two oldest daughters always pay for the youngest when they’re out together. They call it the little sister tax. I wonder how long it’s going to last - probably until d3 is out of school and has a real job.</p>
<p>We would support our kids financially if they needed it. They know it and have never abused the privilege. Our oldest d returned home after graduation for a few months until a permanent job came through, and she was welcome. No one wanted her to be out on her own more than she did. We also let her take a 10-year-old car with 100K miles on it until she could afford her own, and paid the insurance on it for a while. She is 26 and has been completely independent for several years.</p>
<p>D2 (23) found a good position before leaving college and covers all her own expenses, though we did loan her some relocation money to help with moving costs. We’ll do the same for our youngest when she graduates - either welcome her home for a finite period, or loan her what she needs to get on her feet independently. </p>
<p>The days when a BA from a good college automatically conferred economic independence are long gone. The small amount of help we offered our kids didn’t stunt them professionally or emotionally, and I’m grateful we were in a position to offer it. And - however old our kids get, we’d pay for their health insurance if they didn’t have their own or couldn’t afford individual coverage. Thankfully, that’s never been necessary. But right or wrong, we’d do it.</p>
<p>i have a stepdaughter who dropped out right before grad. last year and then changed mjr to prelaw. her dad and i along with her mom paid for her to go this extra year. she and her mom always guilt dad into paying for tuition, books ect at the last minute rather than asking him if he will contribute. im wondering how she is going to break this pattern if he doesnt sit her down and tell her that the gravy train is over. he has a hard time saying no even though he said he will do no more. he is continuing insurance on a car her mom gave her and i know he will continue that i dont put my foot down… any advice. ive told him to have a talk with her immediately after graduation to set up what she will have to do to keep from depending on us. he thought that was a good idea but i dont think he will follow through… help?</p>
<p>We’re struggling with this right now, as our graduating s will be with us this summer…as of now, he has not found a job. As long as he puts in a good effort, and help with chores around here, we will cover expenses like car insurance, health insurance and his cell phone. We will not charge him for food or rent. We will re-evaluate in Sept. But we plan to put something in writing, including an itemization of these costs. He needs to understand these expenses as they will be moving to him. And know that there is an end date to the gravy train unless we decide it makes sense to extend. </p>
<p>Now the hard part is agreeing on what is a reasonable effort. Hah! This should be interesting…</p>