Romani, I grew up catholic and my H did not. We did not get married in a catholic church because I would not agree to raise my children catholic. I did wish to raise them to be moral people but couldn’t give a rats a** about what I felt was not something I could ask my H to do. So we got married in his religion.
Good for you. Sorry your soon to be mil can’t see it that way.
I’m not sure why I’m still reading this. Mcat, it is painful for me to see how you are obsessing about your S and his gf. You need to find something else to occupy your mind. It’s driving you crazy and you need to stop thinking about things because it is not helping you.
Just trying to answer what it means to be married in a Catholic church, as asked. I have no issue with whatever venue/vows combination people choose (except polygamy).
I forgot to include that a wedding ceremony is free, no cost at all, unless you want to hire the church musicians. I think it cost $75 each for the organ player and the singer.
I agree with you, mcat2, about not forcing religious structure on kids, but we needed some framework for moral behavior and values, and this is one with which my wife and I were familiar. If they stay good people and never go to church again, I would be much happier than if they were bitter and vengeful but attended church every day.
I could use some of my free time to learn what has been going on inside a corner of my body (both ultrasound and CT scan have indicated a growing mass there, albeit not a big one), the recurring rate and any potential side effects after various treatment options - it could be a gloomy subject to me though, and I need to pick up many kmedical jargons, like Cryoablation (freeze it) or some big word like that. A doctor will agree to see me in less than two weeks. It is no fun to be old. I really do not want another open surgery after a series of those less than two years ago!
Seriously, mcat, disengage from the things to worry about and take up a hobby. Gardening, jigsaw puzzles, bridge, exercise, swimming. Anything that relaxes you and gets you out of the rumination and obsessing that is going on in your head.
re Catholics and marriage. Long ago I was taught that in the Catholic church the couple marries each other, the priest merely adds the church’s blessing/whatever. I like that concept. A mass is not required either. It makes sense for any religion to have requirements for raising children in that faith. If you don’t intend to continue the religion why bother with it for your marriage? The way to keep believers is to capture them while they are young children. Instill beliefs before logic and contradictions can interfere.
@mcat2, it’s not to late to start developing interests. You can see if you may wish to take up some your W enjoys or try to think of some YOU may enjoy–things you’ve been interested in be never made the time before. Maybe take a night school or weekend course or online course about a subject of interest. Maybe learn a new language, about investing, about cooking, about travel? You will be more interesting to others around you and have new things to think about instead of obsessing about your health and your S and his life and others. Hobbies and interests do not have to take more time or energy than you have, but why not look around you and start NOW?
H has math, physics, other sciences and so many courses to take online for free- often subjects that aren’t my interests. The computer makes a wonderful resource for many things other than CC.
- it could be a gloomy subject to me though, and I need to pick up many kmedical jargons, like Cryoablation (freeze it) or some big word like that. A doctor will agree to see me in less than two weeks. It is no fun to be old. I really do not want another open surgery after a series of those less than two years ago!