When I was in my mid-20s and briefly living with my parents, they reluctantly allowed him to stay over (as did his parents). As I recall, the presence of parents did not exactly put us into the mood for love. But their acceptance made a strategic decision to live with them temporarily a lot easier.
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40 years ago my mom was very strict about this. Then my dad left her and she started to date and changed her tune.
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I 100% agree with this statement and nobody should be shamed for their own decisions on this issue. I taught my children that itās not always about them but about respect for whose home you are in. So if the person whose home they are in wants you in separate rooms, respect that. You may not agree with it but is it really going to kill you to sleep in separate rooms for a few nights.
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I agree with respect to college students. What about a scenario with an unmarried couple living together for a few years with a baby . Would anyone here think itās appropriate for them to be put in separate bedrooms? Genuinely curious as to peopleās feelings about that.
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I think silly but the homeowner gets to set the rules.
So in this case , split up or get a hotel.
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My take is that at that point you are disrespecting a family and itās not appropriate. How about if itās a couple together for a decade with several kids. Insist on splitting them up is ok? Of course you canāt control others respect for you. But one can and should ( in my opinion) refuse to stay with people who would treat oneās family that way.
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As I said - go to two rooms or get a hotel. Not staying is perfectly reasonable.
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I wonder if accepting them being together makes a difference for future visitations.
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I donāt mean this disrespectfully but my thought of your home is that strict to not let parents of a child stay together (married or not, they are parents, co-parenting ) you are also sending a message about the child born to unwed parents and my guess, those parents arenāt even considering staying at that home because they would be well aware how strict things roll there.
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If a parent took such a hard line on a couple of scenarios presented (long standing relationship, maybe has a child) and says ālike it or get a hotel room,ā Iād not be surprised if they have killed the possibility that their adult child will want to vist very often. They may just decide itās not worth the trouble and expense.
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I think that would be just silly and sort of too late to preach. I also think that kids from those more conservative households are more inclined to marriage.
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Same here. We have boys and I while I havenāt had to cross this bridge yet I would do separate rooms. Our bedroom is downstairs so we would have no idea who was where at night but could save embarrassment. Plus has the added benefit of somewhere to put her things, a separate bathroom to get ready in, etc.
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Thatās ridiculous.
We have good friends who are our age (late 50s) who have been together for 30 years but never married (just donāt want the piece of paper) and they have two kids. I can assure you that when they go visit the parents they get to sleep in the same room.
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Whatās ridiculous?
If I went to someoneās house with a person of the opposite sex and they let me know I couldnāt stay with said person - what can I do?
They donāt want us staying together - so Iām not going to break their rule in their house.
So - if I wanted to visit them, Iād stay in a hotel.
What would my alternative be?
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The alternative is typically not to visit them at all because they are sending the message that they arenāt accepting of you and your relationship.
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Thatās a choice too but Iām assuming the people want to visit.
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Not visiting.
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Is there anyone here of the ā Iād insist on separate bedrooms for my college kid and their boyfriend/girlfriendā mode who would really also tell a couple who had been together a decade with say an 8 and 6 year old that Mommy and daddy have to sleep in separate bedrooms? Like really?
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Not me but in our society, so many people have different values or beliefs.
What the neighbor is telling their visitors isnāt my business.
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If theyāve been together for a decade and have an 8 and 6 year old they are not college kids!
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