<p>My parents are both deceased. To be honest, I miss my mom more than my dad. They were divorced for a long time and I didn’t know him as well, but I do miss him. He was a good provider and he loved us. My mom is in my thoughts daily. They both died rather suddenly (but years apart).</p>
<p>I will confess, however, that when I read what some of the people here are going through, in connection with caring for their aging and ill parents, I breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have to deal with any of that.</p>
<p>My dad suffered like no one should ever have to before he died a few years ago, so I’m relieved in a way, but there are still times that I miss him terribly.</p>
<p>No. Sad but true. I believe that what good they could do for me and my children, they did.
Even my D, who is still alive.
Never was particularly close to them as I was the independent oldest child… And there were many other children for them to worry about!</p>
<p>They made me part of what I am today, but certainly a small part.</p>
<p>zm, yes, I know what you mean about the suffering, too. At some point, death is a release. Saw that for my Mom a year ago- once of those nasty untreatable cancers.</p>
<p>I miss my mom always…she was trully remarkable. I wish she could have been around to be part of my childrens’ lives. At all the graduations she was on my mind and I could actually picture her and hear what she would have been saying. She was one of the most loving and intelligent woman I have ever known and I was so fortunate to have been her daughter.</p>
<p>^ I miss my sister but not nearly as much as I miss my mother who was really a great mom but an even better friend.</p>
<p>My parents died before I was married so I’m sorry that they never knew my children. I miss my dad. I have always missed what could have been a good relationship with my mom… but that’s a whole 'nother kettle of fish.
H parents are still both alive and quite frankly have been nothing but a significant monetary drain on us for the last five years.</p>
<p>I sure miss my dad. He died in 2000 and had hoped to make it to that significant year. He was a very intelligent, well-read man and spent so much time explaining things like the Depression to me when I was a child. He read the NY Times daily in his senior years, and now I read it, and I like that link.</p>
<p>He was fond of quoting little sayings, and I smile when I see one of those or find myself repeating them. “Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone” was a favorite of his.</p>
<p>My mom is still living on her own at 82, still sharp and active and involved. I talk to her a couple times a week. She’s still pretty healthy and cheerful, though she thinks she has the smartest dog in the world.</p>
<p>My dad passed away 10 years ago, and I have learned to live with that. I now tend ot think of him with more smiles than tears. My mother has Alzheimer’s and it seems so much more painful to me than if she had just passed away. She is not there to be a mother anymore, though I can still hold her hand and talk at her. I am so envious of my friends that still have their parents. Maybe I will be glad that I didn’t lose her suddenly and that I can still tell her I love her, but it is hard to see these benefits most days.</p>
<p>I get sucker punched every now and then. When D1 graduated from college we had a great weekend with all the family staying in one hotel, Phi Beta Kappa initiation and graduation with lots of honors and awards. I got a glimpse of a man that had the same build, same size, etc. as my dad and it just hit me how much I missed him. He would have loved that weekend. Now I’m a little more aware of such moments and think of him at times that I know he’d have been proud and happy.</p>
<p>My father is still alive, but I very much miss my mother, who died at the age of 52, far too young, when I was 20 years old. We were close, and she was a wonderful person, and I so wish she could have known my son. She would have dearly loved being his grandma. And I can’t help wondering sometimes what our relationship would have been like as two adults. At 20, I was still a child in so many ways, not that I thought of myself that way back then.</p>
<p>Today is the 15th anniversary of my father’s sudden death. It was a very difficult thing for me to get over. I still have the urge to call him and tell him about something that has happened, or see something in a store that I would have purchased for him. The hardest thing, but also the best thing, is to see a trait in my son that came from my dad. </p>
<p>My dad was the best whistler. He whistled when he worked, when he was happy, and when he was bored. It had a beautiful tone. When I hear my son’s beautiful whistling from his bedroom as he is doing homework, playing on the computer, or trying to go to sleep, I smile at my dad.</p>
<p>And here I thought the comments would be from kids who are away at school and don’t miss their parents at all!</p>
<p>My dad’s been gone 15 too, and I’m still amazed at how the smallest thing can bring back the full emotions of that time. I was very close to him and it’s taken a long time to get to the “smiles” instead of “tears” phase. I do wish my kids had known him.</p>
Isn’t a musical memory of someone you love the best?!</p>
<p>I miss my Dad almost every day. He was a proficient whistler as well. His musical choices when he whistled were operatic…often Puccini. Hearing Puccini will always take me directly to how scruffy his chin felt when he kissed me at the end of the day. It is silly but I still tear up at “O mio babbino caro”. Dad was quite strict when I was young and I am grateful that he lived long enough for the two of us to have an adult relationship. Once in a while I will see an older gentleman in khakis, a viyella shirt and Rockports and am taken aback for a moment. </p>
<p>My Mom is still living on her own at 92. She is not a happy camper. She complains that her children don’t do enough for her yet at the same time sees everything we attempt to do to help her continue to live independently as part of a master plan to put her in a nursing home. Growing old isn’t easy. I hope that I will feel the same warmth from memories of her once she is gone but no doubt it will take a while. Dad died young enough that we didn’t go through this with him.</p>
<p>My mom’s been gone for 12 years, my dad for 7. I was not particularly close to either of them, and I don’t miss them much. </p>
<p>I wasn’t even especially sorry when they died, but that was mostly because of the way they died.</p>
<p>My parents, who had been divorced for decades and lived in different parts of the country, both died in exactly the same way. While still completely independent – living alone, driving, participating actively in their communities, and having only relatively minor ongoing health issues – each of them came home one day, sat down on the living room couch, and never got up. And this is exactly what each of them would have wanted. Both had taken care of family members who suffered through slow declines and long periods of disability and dependence. They dreaded the thought of going through the same thing themselves. Fortunately, neither of them had to.</p>
<p>I hope to be just as lucky when my time comes.</p>
<p>I miss my parents everyday. I miss calling them every morning. I miss Monday lunches and shopping with my mother. Everyday I want to tell them something about my children and our lives. </p>
<p>About two years after both my parents died (within weeks of each other) I was in the book store. I saw a book about old restaurants in Brooklyn where my mother grew up and always wanted to go back to live. Without thinking I picked up the book, bought it and walked out. The whole thing happened in less than a minute. I began to dial their number on my cell…My father, but especially my mother would have liked the book.</p>
<p>My mom passed away from ovarian cancer 2 1/2 years ago. She lived nearly 5 years after her diagnosis, and other than a few isolated periods during chemo she had a fairly good quality of life for those years, until the last 6 weeks. I miss her terribly… but knowing that she won’t have to suffer through Alzheimer’s or ALS or any other long, degenerative illness does make the loss easier to bear. The final 6 weeks were awful, I don’t want to imagine how it would have been if that had dragged out much longer.</p>
<p>I have to admit that for the first 2 years after her death I didn’t miss her nearly as much as I thought I would. I was preoccupied with my youngest child’s college search, senior year and transition to college, as well as with my own hunt for a new job. And in some ways I was relieved - even as an adult I was always worried about pleasing my mom, and once she passed away I didn’t have to worry about that any more. But for some reason THIS year, when her birthday rolled around, I was SO sad. For the first time I really truly missed her and grieved her loss. I think right after she died I was just so relieved that the horror of the last 6 weeks of her illness was over, and I was guilt-ridden about some things that happened in the hospital during the last few days of her life (I had the opportunity to talk to say goodbye and tell Mom how much I loved her but I didn’t do it, and I could have been more helpful to her and my Dad on one particularly bad day, but I was just so exhausted after spending 2 nights in the hospital that all I wanted to do was to leave.) I’m finally beginning to acknowledge my regrets and forgive myself, which I think allows me to truly grieve her loss.</p>
<p>My dad is healthy as a horse. He’s about to turn 75, and lives 1000 miles from me. His grandparents and mother lived into their 90’s, but his mother had dementia for the last 10 years. I worry that if Dad starts to slip mentally, I won’t be aware of it or able to help him from here.</p>
<p>I feel like Ellebud–after 11/10 years, I still miss them. My mom was so active. She left the gym one morning, having trouble breathing, and was gone within the week. My FA had a stroke sitting by her side in the ICU. </p>
<p>So many things I wish I could share with them. I sincerely hope they are looking on and smiling, especially as the worm oftens astounds me with his accomplishments.</p>
<p>My father passed away several years ago, my mother just a few months ago. I’ve lived across the country from them since college. I am shocked at how much I miss my mother.</p>
<p>I’ve read that becoming an orphan, even our 50’s, has a big effect.</p>