<p>Even with old forts clarification, I’d still like to be adopted. My kids got their gas tanks filled once a month or so, and maybe money for a movie or a cheap meal out. Max of 75.00 a month, or less on months when they had no free time on the weekends due to sport commitments. Manicures and expensive shampoos were also rare…much to the sadness of my girly-girl. That said, we did pay big bucks for club sports/travel etc. the kids knew that, so they didn’t mind too much that they had little “walking around” money.</p>
<p>As others have said, an allowance is nothing like buying a gift for your kids to give. They could spend the entire amount on one of those ridiculous “collectable” pairs of sneakers or some such. I’ll sign up for adoption, too shellz-but remember, I think that poster lives in NYC where her kids’ friends rent out entire halls for birthday parties. Different worlds. </p>
<p>D’s allowance covers gifts, hot meals, her stupid sneakers, etc. I buy her “necessary” clothes, i.e. things she outgrows or has to have for performances or school, but that extra jacket, fancy sweater, etc. are on her. She’s very careful with her money. She’s STILL annoyed that a sweater she bought recently was “expensive” at $20. That’s because she usually favors the thrift and resale stores.</p>
<p>Allowance for the worm was also $200. That didn’t include manicures or haircuts or clothes. I cannot recall exactly, but I think gasoline, social life, school fees, books, video/computer games. I had him track his expenses for a few months, and it averaged $175. I added the $25 for miscellaneous. By the time he left for college, he could budget for a term. Having a g/f costs money. Anyway, he’s been managing on grad school stipend for years.</p>
<p>Does the OP give her daughter an allowance each month? If so, in my opinion the daughter should budget her allowance so she has money for extra things…and yes…I view gifts for friends and boyfriend as extras. </p>
<p>Does the OP go to HER parents for money to buy Christmas presents for her friends and husband? Did she ever do this?</p>
<p>We have a couple of med school students in this family, and they are very creative with their gift giving…things like cooking a meal, or helping out with a special chore (painting a room, for example, or spreading ,mulch in the summer).</p>
<p>To the OP…what if your daughter decided to buy her BF a new car for Christmas? What about gemstone earrings or designer bags for her friends? Would you pay for that? </p>
<p>If a student gets an allowance, they can save from THAT to buy goodies for friends/bf. As posted, they would just need to skip some other discretionary spending to support their purchases.</p>
<p>The OP says her kiddo will be going to med school, then presumably residency. Does she intend to keep funding these gifts until her daughter is almost 30 years old? </p>
<p>You know…as noted upstream, different strokes for different folks. But really…where IS the line on this one?</p>
<p>For our extended family, we stopped giving gifts to the nieces and nephews when the sisters-in-law started grumbling, several years consecutively (our kids were in their late teens by then). It was just too hard for them to figure out what our kids would like and we all got tired of returning presents that kids didn’t like or fit or …</p>
<p>Now, I still buy gifts for my young nieces and nephews (those who haven’t started college yet). Also, I give to my god Ds & the godparents of my S (the godparents of my D haven’t given us gifts and we don’t give them any either). I also give practical gifts for my folks and take them out to a nice meal when my kids are in town for special events. It works well for our family.</p>
<p>My sister who is hostess of the Christmas Eve party also has instituted a $10 gift swap for this year and gives everyone attending a small gift as well. Am hoping the new swap will go well.</p>
<p>While I do think that it’s a bit weird to pay for gifts, some parents give their kids an allowance (yes, even through college), and gift-giving would come out of that. </p>
<p>If Jea’s daughter is a scholarship athlete, it would make sense to give her spending money instead of having her earn it: her “part time job” is playing sports, which pays her tuition. You could give her some fraction of her scholarship as spending money, to do with what she sees fit.</p>
<p>This is the first year I’ve had to worry about it for both boys! Hallelujah! ;)</p>
<p>No, I’ve never paid for gifts for the significant other for ds2, the one who’s had a gf the longest. However, they celebrated their one-year anniversary this fall when they were 1,000 miles apart at college, and I let him use my credit card to order her flowers. I told him I’d pay for half.</p>
<p>No, not directly, but our kids did get a modest fixed monthly “stipend” from us to spend as they wished through undergrad. I don’t think they usually gave gifts to their friends. Son had a gf whom he bought for- Dd did not.</p>
<p>I just have to say again. Giving an allowance is 100 % not the same as buying the gift. You can say it’s the same if you want to, and you can buy the gifts if you want to, because it is, after all, your life. But it is NOT the same thing at all.</p>
<p>My H.S. daughter gets $20 per week, but we do pay for the caf lunch. My college daughter gets room, board, tuition and books. </p>
<p>College daughter has been working since she was a junior in h.s. She has only worked summers while in college and is expected to save up from that job. She is planning to get a job for the spring semester because she’s taking a lighter load of classes (only 15 hours instead of the 18 she took in the fall). H.S. daughter carries a 4.3 gpa, is editor of the high school newspaper, president of a club she helped found, and works about 15 hours a week. If work starts to interfere with school, we’ll tell her she has to stop, but it hasn’t been a problem so far.</p>
<p>Like a previous poster, my kids have learned the joys of resale shops and thrift stores and flea markets. I’ve received some lovely gifts from my kids that they openly admitted came from the flea market.</p>
<p>Yes, we do. Although honestly the last time I remember doing this was a gift for a girlfriend, and in that case he didn’t even know what to get her, and asked me for help.</p>
<p>We do pay for a metric ton of pizza for teenage boys, however.</p>
<p>I’d like a $200/mo allowance! 
Our guys paid for their own social lives, though S1 would do extra work around the house to make some $$. Both have had jobs in college.</p>
<p>If your D has time for a boyfriend, I’m left wondering why she doesn’t have time for a part-time job? And she certainly could be working during the summer. Kids need to learn to budget and learn that money doesn’t magically appear in their bank accounts and sooner rather than later is better. My kids have all gotten jobs as soon as they were of legal age to do so and continued to work throughout high school, college and graduate school-D was/is a performance major and held down multiple jobs, dealt with rehearsals,performances and auditions and still graduated college summa cum laude and is top of her class now in grad school.
I know that isn’t possible for all people, but it is reasonable to expect kids to take responsibility for the “extras”, and that includes gifts for their friends. Maybe she could come up with alternative ideas that cost little or nothing, such as an afternoon ice skating, a museum trip or handmade scarf?</p>
<p>Freshman year my D asked for Christmas present money and it was odd. I gave it to her because it seemed like a legitimate need since her friends were all exchanging gifts and she didn’t have a job or an allowance. We were meeting needs and this seemed like a weird need but I got it. She has job now. Problem solved.</p>