My daughter’s the whimsical type. I just remembered that she likes to bring art supplies as a hostess gift, especially if she is visiting someone at their vacation home – moleskine sketchbooks and little watercolor sets, Prismacolors, or those watercolor pencils. Not sure if the recipients ever used them. I personally would enjoy getting that, but it is a little taste-specific for a generic gift.
The last time my brother and wife visited they brought eggs from their hens. 
Son’s girlfriend brought Chinese tea the first weekend she came over, but when it became a regular thing she didn’t bring regular gifts. She did bring paprika after spending part of last summer in Hungary though!
We do often take people out to dinner instead of a gift.
My go to hostess gift is my homemade jams and pickles. My kids regularly take them to give to friends or families as a hostess gift.
Last year my kid visited a friend’s aunt for a few days when flooding forced her college to close for a week. I suggested she get a bouquet of flowers or nice food gift, and/or offer to take the aunt out for lunch. Apparently the aunt told the girls that she knew money was tight for college students so absolutely no gifts were needed; she would just like them to strip the beds before they left (which I hope they would have done anyway). I was pleased when D said they all wrote thank you notes before they left and left them in the refrigerator (so the aunt would find them later that day).
Agree that a small gift is thoughtful–but a heartfelt thank you, especially from a younger person, is all I’d really want.
My S took his girlfriend to Florida over spring break and stayed with my ILs. I confess, H and I asked my ILs afterwards – what did she do? As it turned out, she had treated them to a bagel spread and left them a very nice thank-you note. We were relieved!
Overnight guests should bring something, or they should treat for a meal out.
If it’s kids spending the night (other than just a sleep-over where kids take turns hosting), they can bring sodas, snacks, etc.
Obviously, there can be exceptions, but it’s polite to bring something or pay for something.
I’ve always kept a gift cupboard and had the children help me choose things from it, so at this point I’m not sending them with hostess gifts. They’re choosing their own. But what they give depends on the situation.
My son just finished his freshman year of college. Last summer, he and some of his friends took a road trip to the Jersey Shore and spent a night or two in one of the boys’ homes. He has a little sister, so my son took his family some chocolates and bought some drinks and snacks for everyone to share while they were there. This year, they went to Canada and a couple of the boys spent the night here. One brought us eggs from his familiy’s chickens. The other provided his car for the trip and used some of his family’s hotel points so they could spend a day or two in Boston. My son thought that was really generous, so he bought him a lobster dinner.
When I visit, I like to take food and/or wine or take our hosts out to eat. Consumables don’t take up space and they can add to the fun.
Consumables are great! Of course you have to consider the recipient. You wouldn’t bring those upscale cupcakes to a diabetic’s home or a dieter’s home…and you wouldn’t bring wine to an alcoholic’s or teetotaler’s home.
When we were growing up, it was a treat to buy Marie Callendar’s pies at their restaurant and bring them to people’s homes. We especially loved strawberry season!
A fun thing that younger people can bring is gourmet popcorn…especially if they’re going to be sitting around watching movies or gaming.
That’s my go-to, though I do wine sometimes, or a local favorite if I think they’ll like it (maple syrup is A Thing in our area). Chocolate is great but doesn’t always travel well!
Always bring something,if it’s a big household, focus on the mom. She’s doing all the work anyway. I always have my husband hand the hostess the flowers and he’s won some points that way! I’m terrible with thank you notes but melt when ever I receive one.
My kids frequently bring a fresh batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies. They are always appreciated and rapidly consumed .
My youngest attends a Service Academy and we army moms view the cadets as all of our sons and daughters. Recently a cadet ended up stranded at the airport as his orders didn’t go through in time. The mom posted on our FB page about his situation (and there is no USO at this airport). I offered to pick him up and keep him at our house until his travel arrangements were straightened out. She and her cadet both offered to cover any costs we may have incurred and we declined. He ended up staying with us for three days. (Army paperwork snafu) A week or so later, we received a thank you note from his mom along with a restaurant gift card. It was a very nice gesture and completely unexpected.
It’s always good manners to say thank you, both verbally and in writing, esp when someone goes out of their way to help you. A gift isn’t always necessary, but it is one way to acknowledge appreciation.
It is good manners. I’m thrilled when I hear from my kids that they went to someone’s house and this is what they brought for the hostess. My oldest takes a lot of care in her gift. Younger D always brings something she has baked or cooked. I’m not sure what my S does. I hope he brings something.
On the 4th we went to a firework viewing party with my in laws. I gave a small hostess gift and also brought homemade cookies and a salad. ( they had said we don’t need to bring anything) My S and his GF invited a friend and she brought a bottle of wine. My MIL was thrilled. I had a friend come and she had fresh cookies and cherries.
My family OTOH are terrible. I have my siblings, spouses and their children all coming next week for the weekend. In all the years doing this I don’t think I’ve ever received a hostess gift. If I don’t ask them to bring food they are happy for me to provide food,drink,lodging, pool, pool towels, pool toys and allow them to bring their dogs. They have even been known to complain the pool water isn’t heated enough and why don’t I have goggles for all their children. I now give the heads up that they should bring their own goggles and pool toys since my children are grown. I also ask them to bring a pool towel. They also are terrible about helping to clean up.
I wouldn’t think of bringing a hostess gift to my sibling, though I’d certainly ask how I could help, and get off my butt and do so!
I like when people bring things and then TAKE THEM HOME with them. I love when people come to my beach house with games, puzzles, beach toys, frisbees, smash ball games, volleyballs, beach chairs, towels, water sports equipment, books, art supplies, adult coloring books, wine, beer, soft drinks, other alcohol, good coffee, good produce, artisanal food products, really good sweets, good bread, salty snacks, etc., but I seriously prefer that they take home whatever they bring (to the extent it hasn’t been consumed over the weekend). That’s the ideal hostess gift to me! I get to use it while the guests are here but I don’t have to store it in my downsized house.
If I host my sisters friends, or sons friends, I truly don’t expect any gift. I am happy to do so. I also hosted two times a friend of a friend who was in a sports competition. This boy didn’t have money, but I went to his competitions and had fun. A verbal thanks was enough.
@yauponredux- You can send those napkins to me 
I have a dishtowel given my one of DDs friends in 2001, I still use it and think of the girl and her Mom each time, so I understand why it is difficult to use gifts from an EX-BF
Color me totally annoyed about this issue, maybe I should put this on the get it off your chest thread!
I arranged for a group of half a dozen of DD’s friends, people mid 20s-30s, grad students etc., to stay for several days at my friend’s amazing beach house. DH & I fed them for three days & then DD & I and one remaining grad student cleaned the entire place. I had asked DD to have them each bring some nice things to create a luxury gift basket, but they brought such a lame assortment of items, I am going to need to supplement myself as is DD, but that does not give my friend interesting items from their far away places 
Mainly I am so annoyed that a bunch of grown ups, most of whom are funded, not living on student loans, did not have the manners to bring nice gifts for something that would have cost them $500-$1000 a night if they AirBnB-VRBO it. They acted like starving college students who need a freebie and that is not the case, DD was totally annoyed, too.
^^^ That would bother me, too!
Ds1 is spending at least one night, maybe up to three, at a college friend’s family’s house this weekend while he’s in town for a wedding. He took the parents – after getting the OK from his friend that there’s no kind of allergy – what we kind of consider gold in this house … a pound of shelled pecans! His friend said his mom will LOVE them.
If I sent anyhting with one of my sons, he would just forget to give it to the intended recipient. I have done some of both. I do tell my kids they need to be good guests and offer to help, and really mean it.