<p>There is nothing I love more than when my D comes home. I look forward to it with such happiness. Sort of. Actually, I feel very conflicted. I adore her and when she leaves I get sad for a little while. But the anticipation of her coming, I have to admit, is mixed. I sleep better when she is at school. My H and I get along better when she is away. There is less anxiety and general tension. This is not at all to say that we are more dysfunctional than any other normal family. We are a warm and loving trio, but it is weird. I so look forward to her coming and I have to admit there is a little bit of nervousness too. Some of it may be related to the (brief) pain of another separation. But it is definitely there… Am I really weird?</p>
<p>Not weird at all. S1 (who’s out of college) is on his way home for the weekend at this very moment and I’ve been fussing all day, cleaning the house, making a nice meal, setting the table with a cloth, etc. Nothing makes me happier than when the kids come home. That being said, I sleep much better nights when they’re not here. I’m not watching the clock at 2:00am wondering why they’re not in bed and where they might be. And DH and I get along more harmoniously as well when there’s no reason for either of us to take one of the kid’s side on an issue.</p>
<p>I don’t think your weird at all!! I actually think its normal and a sign of a healthy family! Its the same for me when the kids are coming home, I’m super excited…planning things, etc. But, when they are here, they seem to take up so much more room then they used to, lol. They are adults now as well, so I feel more awkward setting the limits and stuff like that. I really don’t want to ever come out with, “its my house, so do things my way”. But, the freinds all start coming back in droves, take over my house…eat and drink everything in sight…lol, but the time they are supposed to be going back, I notice they both stall and stall…sometimes even staying an extra day…meanwhile I’m gathering their things from all over the house, and reminding them to pack things, lol. </p>
<p>I agree that when they are gone, the house is alot more peaceful. There was a time, I thought I would never adjust to the quiet…but, funny enough, that only took me a week, :). Mine are gone from here…dd is off visiting her bf’s family now, and son’s break starts this weekend…and he’s going to meet his girlfriends family. Am I sad? no, not really. I talk to them everyday, so it isn’t like the “old” days, where people had to wait for letters, or make a very expensive phone call. We can talk all the time, skype, im…lol, I’m really in touch with them alot more then I am when they’re home!! But we’re in such an im’g habit now…that we can all be in the media room watching tv, with our laptops going…and im’g questions or links, instead of actually speaking, lol. Or we’ll pass links to something funny, everyone cracks up and hubby is wondering whats so funny…but, this is a new generation. If you can’t beat em, join em.</p>
<p>^^what papengena said. I’m excited when they are coming in; actually cry after they leave. But quickly readjust to having everything picked up and organized and calm and quiet.</p>
<p>I think it makes sense to enjoy each stage for what it is, if at all possible.</p>
<p>Transitions of all kinds are usually stressful. Not weird at all.</p>
<p>George Burns: “Happiness is a close-knit family in another state.”</p>
<p>Wow. You sound like a bad mom.</p>
<p>Anyone who has been a parent of a college student understands exactly what you mean. They are their own adult people now, and don’t always fit back into the family nest. Attempts to make them fit into the family nest (“Please get up before noon”) are often seen as controlling or unreasonable. But they they need you like in high school ("My friends are all talking about getting their tax refunds - do I get one?) and you want to just ask where their brain has been…
It’s a wonderful fun week but sometimes with a tightrope walk underneath.</p>
<p>Absolutely agree w/ all of you above that say this is not weird.</p>
<p>I get excited when they are coming home, can’t sleep ( because of their hours, etc.) and get agitated when they are home and get depressed when they leave.</p>
<p>I figured out that I get depressed not because they are gone (I actually like less mess, less noise, less…). I get depressed because I am reminded that that stage of my life is over. It makes me face my age and future.</p>
<p>After a few days I get past it. But I would really like this roller coaster of emotions to stop!</p>
<p>Thank you everyone! (Except Steven! 
) I do feel better knowing that this is pretty common. The good thing is that she and I totally get along better now than ever before. When I think, like morrismm, that my life is at this other, older, stage, I, too, get sad. That is definitely a part of it. Happy-sad…</p>
<p>Actually, I feel this way about any company at home. I love to have them over, but I am always glad to get back to the normal routine.</p>
<p>Yes, I understand completely, having one of out college & one almost out (in May) and a high school senior and a high school junior. When they are all home, I must buy everyone’s favorite foods, type of milk, cereal, etc. I don’t mind that part of it, but the coming and going at night & leaving the barn door unlocked (our house is attached to the barn) so somebody can come home late, that part drives me crazy. Coordinating the lights being turned off and the heat turned down & so on, that is all part of it. </p>
<p>I am always glad to have them come home, but I am always happy to see them leave as well. It is a conflicting emotion, I guess.</p>
<p>morrismm, you said a mouthful. I too feel melancholy when I think about their childhood being over and done with, and DH and I facing the unknown ahead. I am out of touch now with the public school calendar, only realizing that it’s a “snow day” when I don’t see any buses as I leave for work. I find that I truly feel my age and a deep sadness on Halloween when I hear young mothers discussing their children’s costumes, school parade, and trick or treating plans.</p>
<p>And what will the summer bring???</p>
<p>This break is the first one that I approached with some trepidation. I was thrilled beyond words at the prospect of having him home for three weeks at Christmas. Then he came home and stayed up all night, slept all day, socialized relentlessly, and I was really disappointed by the end of it. I was much more ambivalent about the spring break visit. </p>
<p>I was exhausted by the end of spring break because having him around tends to bring out my night owl tendencies–but with two younger ones to get off to school in the a.m. it translates to me being perpetually sleep deprived. I tried going to bed one night, but I could hear him moving around the kitchen with a buddy, rummaging for snacks. It wasn’t loud, but my husband works out of town all week so I’m hypersensitive to noise in the house. I either need a dog or some earplugs. I’m assuming the dog would only bark at intruders and not my son–this could backfire I suppose. :)</p>
<p>Summer is the same thing. Except maybe a little better because D will be working. Maybe your son can get a job? It becomes more of a routine in the summer because it’s longer. A job is necessary for stability and the money doesn’t hurt either. I would suggest some kind of routine. But it really is the same thing, with the household being up in the air for the time s/he’s home. It’s tough, isn’t it!</p>
<p>S1 was here for a month after freshman year. It was weird. He has stayed in his college town since then. He’ll graduate in May.
S2 is a freshman and told us over Spring Break that he plans to go to summer school and work in his college town over the summer.<br>
Is it bad that I’m relieved?</p>
<p>It sure is tough having both sons home at the same time during breaks. This house has become too small for the four of us (5 of us counting our 115 lb. golden retriever/lab mix).
They head back tomorrow. S1 has a solid 7 hr. drive back to college but he’ll stop along the way to drop S2 off at his school. Of course, I’ll spend the day worrying until I know that they’ve both made it back safely. Once I get the phone call that they’re both back on campus, husband and I will take a cleansing deep breath and go back to our peaceful existence.</p>
<p>OH–I may usurp this post! Our DD is now 25. She left us and the PCNW 7 years ago to attend college in the NE. At the most she has been home for 2 months running. Now she is thinking of moving back to our city (yeah!!) and wants to move home for at least 4 months (gasp) and would like her HS GF (who is going to grad school in another NE city) to move in with us for those months as then they would both be in grad school and get an apt together. (this is platonic-not that it matters to me). DS has been amazing in working full time and getting a Masters degree the last 3 years–so no slouch here.
So!! just to say–yea, I so so ! have been happy to have our wonderful DD come home from college AND been equally happy to see her leave ( with appropriate guilt), NOW we find ourselves speechless as to what to answer to her request. Our DS leaves for college in Aug. and I had already been counting the days.</p>
<p>That is DD (not DS) who worked and gained a Masters</p>
<p>Since she has a pretty good plan, and the amount of time at home is limited, although the word “least” would raise an alarm in my mind, I would say yes, if she were mine. However, I don’t know what your housing situation is (amount of space, etc.), obviously. Will they contribute to rent, food, utilities, chores?</p>