<p>I miss him because he didn’t judge me like that and because he wasn’t too busy for me. I really feel the loss so deeply right now.</p>
<p>I don’t think going to bed early is the solution if you don’t feel sleepy. That’s why I suggest reading until you’re truly sleepy. The problem seems to be that you don’t have friends you can stay with and unload to, or someone who’d be willing to come stay with you and let you cry on their shoulder. More important than that, however, is someone you can do things with, whether it’s going to a movie together, going to the mall, going bicycling, etc… In fact, I’d suggest doing some strenuous exercise. Do anything that prevents you from dwelling on your loss, focus on the present if you cannot yet face the future.</p>
<p>After my mother passed away years ago, I felt cut adrift. … There were times when I ached to feel her arms around me, her comforting words in my ear … as you said, just to be taken care of for a bit. There were times when I felt like the loneliest person in the world. A much-loved boyfriend had opted out of my life … I lived alone. It was beyond hard for awhile there. But I assure you that life goes on and things improve. … You’re at your weakest point right now justoutofcollege. Get the help you need and keep your chin up. Things WILL get better.</p>
<p>Marite’s suggestion of strenuous exercise is excellent. Exercise supposedly releases those “happy” endorphins into the brain. A good, long aggressive walk won’t hurt and might even help. :)</p>
<p>And I almost want him back just to prove to her that it’s not law school that’s the issue.</p>
<p>I don’t know what’s so wrong with me that no one feels enough for how I feel to just be around for a few weeks. Maybe I am being unfair to my friend, because she’s been there for me.</p>
<p>I know I should exercise, but I have such a hard time getting out of bed, and I feel really week becuase I haven’t been sleeping AND I am sick (I got sick almost immediately after all this happened), so I am all stuffed up.</p>
<p>The more you stay in bed, the more difficult it will be to get out of it. Get up and DO something!</p>
<p>Well, my frind asked me to come to church, so I am going with her…</p>
<p>Good!! Things are looking up. :)</p>
<p>If you were my daughter, I would let you cry and feel sorry for yourself a bit, then I would kick your butt and tell you to get a life. There are people out there that have gone through worse tragedy, some people younger than you (young kids that have lost their parents at the recent China earth quake). It is awful and terribly sad to lose a long time boyfriend, but this is not the worst thing that could have happened to anyone. </p>
<p>It is a beautiful day in NYC. Go down to the village, Soho, or downtown (look at the huge empty pit where world trade center used to be), and just be glad you are alive and appreciate what you have.</p>
<p>Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, maybe you could try to something productive, even if it’s just one thing. We have all survived heartbreaks. Boyfriend is just like a bus, one passes, there will always be another one right behind it. I say, don’t let the door hit you on your way out.</p>
<p>Hope today is a better day.
A thought I had is you might look up a group such as codependants anonymous and see if they have meetings in your area. I have never been to one but I have a couple of friends who find it very helpful. Or search out some 12 step type of group that might fit. You might find support and a place to share what you are experiencing.
The serenity prayer works for all sorts of circumstances-
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.</p>
<p>Not to minimize your pain, OP, but it is true that most of us posting advice to you have gone through what you are going through. We all survived & are living happily ever after. Attitude is definitely important in dealing with setbacks.</p>
<p>My friend and I were actually too late for the church (we didn’t know exactly how to get there – she has only been there a couple times), but we did go and see a movie.</p>
<p>I know it’s only been a few days, but I really don’t feel any better and maybe worse. I really thought we would share everything. I wish he would just come back.</p>
<p>Also, if anyone has any ideas about where I could go to stay after I can’t stay with my friend any more, I would really appreciate it.</p>
<p>Here are some places you could stay. Yes, they cost money. My suggestion would be to stay one night, then if you meet some people there who seem decent, offer for them to stay at your apt. free for a few nights. It’s a win for them and a win for you.
[Welcome</a> to the Central Park Hostel - the Best Budget Accommodations in New York City](<a href=“http://www.centralparkhostel.com/]Welcome”>http://www.centralparkhostel.com/) $34/night
[Book</a> Crown Brownstone: No booking fees!](<a href=“Hostelworld - Explore the world’s best hostels”>Hostelworld - Explore the world’s best hostels) $30/night
[Book</a> 5th Avenue Spot: No booking fees!](<a href=“Hostelworld - Explore the world’s best hostels”>Hostelworld - Explore the world’s best hostels) $25/night</p>
<p>Think about it as having major surgery. We’re told it takes 4 to 6 weeks for the pain to go away. We’re told to do exercises so that our muscles don’t atrophy. We can do quite a bit of work while we still have to deal with the pain. We try not to let the pain control us; we control the pain. Try it.</p>
<p>Make an appt. with a therapist first thing Monday morning. Spend the $20 on the co-pay. It will be a very wise investment.</p>
<p>Timely, thank you for the advice. Do you know which one of those places would have people my age or collge age? Also, would I be rooming with other people?</p>
<p>I will try to see a therapist as soon as possible right away?</p>
<p>I really like the reviews on the tripadvisor website: [New</a> York City Lodging: Read Reviews and Compare Prices - TripAdvisor](<a href=“http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotels-g60763-c3-New_York_City_New_York-Hotels.html]New”>http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotels-g60763-c3-New_York_City_New_York-Hotels.html)</p>
<p>The Hostelling International review has quite a few pictures. You’ll get an idea of how much personal interaction you will find in such a place.</p>
<p>Hang in there … things will get better day by day.</p>
<p>I miss him so much. I was a really na</p>
<p>Justoutofcollege, if you’ll go to the links for the hostels, you’ll see pictures. They have rooms with 4-6 bunk beds, so you shouldn’t be alone there. I’d think most people will be college students on summer breaks. Some of them will undoubtedly be international students. You could call the # for one of those places and ask them what % of their guests are usually not from the U.S. There is nothing wrong with being around people of other nationalities, of course, but right now it sounds like you need to be with girls who can really relate to you.</p>
<p>Good for you on seeing the therapist! Think how good it will be to talk to someone who won’t judge you but will just help you learn how to heal.</p>
<p>Sweetheart, let me tell you something…you will be happy again.</p>