<p>The hypothetical is this: there are a pair of twins. Twin A has always done well in school, done well on her standardized tests, participated in ECs, and is all around a very good candidate for most colleges. Twin B has done average in school (~3.0 GPA), did some volunteering here and there, but wasn’t focused too much on their college ambitions throughout high school.</p>
<p>The twins’ parents only have X amount of money for both Twin A and Twin B. Twin A gets into a top tier school and state flagship, Twin B gets into a non-flagship state school. The state flagship and non flagship school both cost the same, and the parents would be able to afford it.</p>
<p>But Twin A wants to go to the top tier school, which would take up much of the twins’ college fund. This would make Twin B to go to CC for two years, then transfer to the non-flagship state school. Is it fair for the parents to let Twin A go to the top tier school, or do you think Twin A should go to the state flagship?</p>
<p>We shall call it… The Twin College Paradox.</p>
<p>Five minutes later and I still don’t know what the most equitable answer would be. If Twin A REALLY wants to go to the top tier school, and Twin B doesn’t really care, then Twin A should be allowed to go to the top tier school.</p>
<p>I don’t think you are considering this issue in the right way. You are not “entitled” to any money from your parents to pay for your college expenses. Any such money they choose to provide is a gift from them to you and like any gift, you aren’t entitled to it. Whether they choose to give money for college based upon effort, achievements, personal qualities (such as attitude of entitlement or lack thereof), or the idea that they love and support all their children, is entirely up to them.</p>
<p>@mathyone- Let’s also assume that the parents have previously said that they’re paying for both twins’ college stuff (that’s kind of implied in the original post)</p>
<p>I think it’s perfectly acceptable for the family to sit down and have a conversation about the possibility of twin A getting more money to spend to go top tier. Twin B, from the description, might not be surprised. </p>
<p>If twin B is against it, that might be a good lesson for twin B about rewarding effort and results. </p>
<p>Very tough situation though if twin B is set on going to a four year school. If that is the case maybe twin A can appeal for more aid. </p>
<p>That said, if parents said they were paying for both, and state schools for both are all that can be afforded, then that probably settles it. It’s not fair to add additional criteria (effort and grades) retroactively. </p>
<p>"Let’s also assume that the parents have previously said that they’re paying for both twins’ college stuff (that’s kind of implied in the original post) " And they seem to have saved for and be willing to pay for 4-year state colleges for both twins. Evidently twin A wants twin B to give up some of their college money for twin A’s more elite experience. Was the FA package received by twin A insufficient? I think it will be lowered if twin B’s expenses are just for cc. Did twin A apply for scholarships to help offset the cost difference between the public school parents can afford and the private school twin A prefers to attend? How much can twin A earn to contribute to this? Is it worth it to this family to take out loans to pay the difference? Will twin A repay the parents the difference in cost?</p>
<p>@mathyone - Yes, let’s say Twin A’s FA package was insufficient. No, Twin A didn’t apply for scholarships (but on that note- would you give a different answer is they did?) and also doesn’t want to work. The family can take out loans to pay for A, but it still would be too expensive for Twin B to go to their preferred college. Twin A isn’t planning on repaying the parents (but neither is B).</p>
<p>I guess as a parent I’d be wondering why twin A expects me to take away money I set aside for twin B, especially considering twin A doesn’t seem interested in lifting a finger to contribute financially to this situation.</p>
<p>You haven’t given much information here, but I’m thinking…Twin A’s top school isn’t so tippy top because most of those will meet full need and with twins in college, there would be substantial aid. From what you describe it sounds like even with 2 kids in college at the same time, twin A is not qualifying for much aid. So it sounds like the parents could afford both if they really wanted to spend their money on that. Evidently they don’t find tippy-top college worth the cost, and that is their business.</p>
<p>I still think you are completely missing my point. The only thing which matters is what your parents feel like doing with their money. That does not have to meet anyone’s definition of “fair”. It’s their money and they can do with it as they choose. Maybe they think twin B would benefit from the 4 year college and twin A would benefit from learning that not everything in life will be handed to them on a silver platter.</p>
<p>Mom of twins here!!! ( By the way does OP , know my daughters?) They get the same amount. Keep in mind that the “better” performing student will get more merit. A lot of the schools they applied to overlapped. Twin A got more merit while twin B got some merit or none. They know what my amount is and they can work with it as they choose. They both can choose to take out loans or graduate debt free. That is up to them. I would never punish one of my children because academically they are not the same. (Twin B does work hard too!) Any amount the one twin does not use goes into my retirement fund. </p>
<p>@mathyone Okay, assuming the parents want to do what’s fair, does it matter that Twin A showed more initiative and drive while in high school, while Twin B didn’t?</p>
<p>@twinmom2014- aha, this is purely hypothetical :p</p>
<p>@migraine Twin A can get a summer job and use that money (plus birthday/Xmas/previous savings) to pay for college expenses, and not have it be just money to blow on going out with friends. Twin A has to make some sacrifices and that can be it … getting to attend an expensive, prestigious school and not have to work during the year in exchange for no money to do fun stuff. I don’t think it’s that much of a sacrifice, either, since all college students are struggling so most don’t do expensive things. Also, I think Twin A should repay the difference. Theoretically there will be a great job and good contacts at the end of the college experience so it shouldn’t be a problem. Parents or student can take out loans to finance it until Twin A graduates and gets on his/her feet. </p>
<p>If I were the parents and there was any money left over from college expenses, I would give it to A … but that would just be something I’d intend to do, not something explicitly stated. If I could afford it, I would also try to kick in half the difference for Twin A (or erase the entire debt, depending on how kindly I was feeling at the time). Still, Twin A should choose their school based on the assumption that the full amount (difference) has to be repaid. That’s what I would do. I don’t have twins, but it works for non-twins too.</p>
<p>Oh, to answer your question, no I wouldn’t force Twin B to CC if that wasn’t what she wanted. If both students knew what money was available to them, then it wouldn’t be fair to change the allocation at this late date. Besides, one could argue that the less ambitious twin needs more advantages than Twin A. That said, I do agree on rewarding hard work, but it shouldn’t seem like I’m picking a favorite … and that’s how it would look.</p>
<p>It would be unfair to have Twin B’s choices limited by Twin A’s, or vice versa. If Twin A really wanted yo go to the top school, (s)he would be willing to work to pay it off. If not, (s)he would have to make do with the options available with the money allotted to him/her originally.</p>
…I try to be a fair mommy! </p>