Does entertaining stress you out?

Parent Cafe
81

IMO the key to a successful dinner party (8-10 people) is to keep it simple and create a menu where you can prep ahead of time. I usually have one appetizer, a main dish, a salad, and a desert. I dont plate food–I make something that I can serve family style.

Last week, I had a birthday dinner party to celebrate two bff’s birthdays (9 people). Appetizers were deviled eggs (favorite of both guests of honor)–I used a recipe from a local chef (Oleana Restaurant in Cambridge) who puts tuna or smoked salmon in the deviled eggs. The main course was a mushroom lasagna (3 guests were vegetarians)–used a Marcella Hazan recipe. The salad was argula with pears, Stilton, and toasted hazelnuts. Served Prosecco with the deviled eggs and a Sanscerre wine (French Sauvignon Blanc) with dinner. I am not a baker so I bought a vanilla cake with lemon curd, berries, and whipped

82

An easy dessert that is always well received by people of all ages is ice cream sundaes. There’s a reason American Airlines has been serving it to its First Class customers for over 30 years.

83

I love the concept of entertaining but often get stressed doing it – have referred to my routine “before company nervous breakdown.” I don’t have a home that lends itself to entertaining large groups, too broken up into rooms and levels. For a dinner party I am happiest with six, which is the number I had for Easter dinner, with a few more dropping in just for dessert. I guess the max I have ever had, perhaps for Thanksgiving, was a dozen.

I used to do much more elaborate cooking, but now tend to focus on things that can be prepared in advance (such as twice-baked potatoes) and some things that I can pick up, sometimes an assortment of mini dessert options from a very good French bakery/chocolatier. I don’t like feeling like a short-order cook when I have guests, and hate last minute pressure.

My goal is to have everything prepped an hour or more before the first guest arrives – rarely happens, but gives me a welcome down time. Time in the oven is fine. I try to have an empty dishwasher, clear counters, table set and decorated, etc. in advance. I may use the kitchen table as a buffet and let people serve themselves in the kitchen, to keep the dining table less busy. I can put a tablecloth and vase of flowers on the kitchen table to dress that up.

I love it when a dinner party is over and I can relish having it done, plus enjoy the leftovers.

In the past recent years I have enjoyed a monthly cleaning service, which keeps me on track re the household.

I really want to reciprocate those who have entertained us, and to encourage some of our friends to get to know each other. That is very rewarding. I also enjoy decorating the table, choosing colors for tablecloth and napkins, putting seasonal items on the chandelier, picking flowers from the garden, etc.

Last summer we had our first large catered party (under 50 guests) for our 40th anniversary, in our backyard. It was wonderful to have the caterer take care of all, (They even took care of putting any flowers people brought into vases and setting them out!) and I could be a guest at my own party. That spoiled me!

One of the great things about entertaining is how it forces me to declutter and clear off the dining room table, often filled with paper piles.

84

^^^Totally agree with you on catering a party, JEM. We had a chef from a local restaurant cater my daughter’s college graduation party–it was a joint party with her roommates held at our house because we lived 35 miles from campus. D’s oommates were from out-of-town. We paid for the food/tent and other parents paid for wine/beer/soda. What I loved about having it catered was that I didnt have to clean up afterwards–my kitchen was spotless when the party was over.

85

More and more, especially with kids sitting separate, I do a buffet line.

86

With both Ds in high school, I’ve scaled back my Martha Stewart ambitions and mental bandwidth considerably. Nowadays if we entertain at all, it’s potluck-style or friends bringing over dessert and good bread or cheese while I serve a main and a couple of sides. I tend to stress myself out over timing and cleanliness, so my kids know to pitch in by running the vac while my partner fiddles with the bar.

I’ve come to rely on shortcuts like Tyler Florence’s Chili Relleno Rice or Ikea vegetarian meatballs in marsala sauce. I also rely on good wine and heavenly friends who think nothing of jumping into the kitchen to dress a salad or wash cooking pans. Lucques olives and white anchovies help.

What I also like about entertaining is the excuse to set out the lovely serving ware and linens I’ve picked up over the years. I can’t part with them now! … mid-century modern Dansk, California pottery, Limoges, Japanese stoneware, Eva Zeisl, British ironware, jadeite … I tell myself that I’m going to make a little trousseau for each D when they leave home!

87

We’ve done pretty regular entertaining for smallish groups. A long time ago, before having a fancy party for some two dozen guests, my mother gave me a few helpful hints. She said to use the good stuff, i.e. all those beautiful plates, cutlery, linens–even if mismatched. Avoid drinking any alcoholic beverage until after the guests have arrived and the main course is set… Keep the food simple but elegant (beef tenderloin is always a good staple for a fancy dinner). But MOST important, remember that most people are just happy to be invited for a meal you’ve put together at your home. It doesn’t matter if you have a cooking disaster. What’s important is that you invited them and treated them (or tried to) well. People are usually grateful to get an invitation.

These days I have a few favorite fallback menus. for example, roasted chicken, a green salad with a simple dressing, a vegetable (roasted asparagus, broccoli, beets, etc.), a carb of maybe rolls, biscuits, french bread, risotto, small potatoes, and usually some fresh fruit. I do a simple tray of cheeses, fruits, crackers, olives, nuts beforehand. Dessert can be store bought, or I may make a homemade fruit crisp, or a gingerbread with ice cream. I like to serve the main course buffet style, often taking the main course on a platter to the table. I like to get as much done ahead of time as possible. We try to keep it all relaxed, somewhat casual. I put a playlist on the ipod, and let that go.

I plan a menu a few days in advance. I think Ina Garten once said to plan to purchase at least one of your courses pre-made. It helps immensely! A dessert of store bought pound cake topped with fresh fruit and homemade whipped cream is a winner. Or a boxed brownie mix with ice cream. Or an ice cream sundae. Or it could be a prepared ham you’re just heating. Or pulled bbq pork from the farmers market. Or store bought hummus and crackers at the beginning. Having a theme in (your) mind is also helpful for the menu prep whether it be regional, ethnic, or age based (i.e. kid friendly)… Pizza or pasta and salad dinner. Brats, beans, chips, and potato salad. Brunch menus with a strata or fritatta, fruit, and a little salad. Curried meats with rice. A steak, a nice bread, salad, and a vegetable gratin. When I’m cooking, I always think in steps of what ifs and at least I’ll have … if all else fails. At least I’ll have a big salad and chicken breast, if the vegetables burn…At least I’ll have a roasted turkey and rolls and a canned cranberry sauce if sweet potato souffle fails.

Trying new things is fun, though, and the rewards can be great, especially if your guests are game for the risk. Recently I and a bunch of family members made a pit fire dinner–all food in the fire. We roasted chicken, beef, potatoes, cheese and bread, apples and beets in a fire in a snowstorm. It took a very long time to cook this dinner, lots of traipsing in and out of the house in boots, eating around a counter for the first part, and drinking hot (local) brandy outside for dessert, but the food was outstanding. It was a memorable evening but not so traditional.

Aside from general cleaning up, to get ready, I will either snip some greens or flowers from the yard for the table, or buy the inexpensive grocery store flowers to put in small vases or jars on the table. I bought some vintage table linens years so I generally use a table cloth, place mats, cloth napkins on the table. My dining room chairs’ upholstery is pretty ratty looking, but no matter. My husband will help with food prep, and clean-up although I have to tell him, sometimes, not to clean up while some guests are still sitting and eating, lol.

We’ve had our share of disasters–table cloths on fire, grill dying with chicken in the works, power outages, the unexpected result of a new recipe, like the monk’s blandest ever bean, herb, and water soup (I should have known…), bony fish. Recently friends came over for appetizers and a glass of wine. We were enjoying the conversation so much that hours later after a bit too much wine, I was pulling leftover scraps of this and that out of the refrigerator in lieu of the missing dinner.

I can’t lie, and say that I don’t get anxious, but just doing it over and over really does make it easier!