<p>Do you require certain behavior to keep supporting your child in college?
Do you require certain GPA?
What happens if your child doesn’t keep it up? Do you reduce their support? What if they then drop out, or blow off grad school?<br>
Thoughts, ideas?</p>
<p>Most kids know what is expected of them, I think. However, some are too inexperienced and naive to understand what it is going to take to achieve the life style to which they have or would wish to become acquainted. We periodically have a little reality check when ours are telling us things they would like to do…and then we get the chance to dissect the potential project and how they might expect to achieve it. Examining the finances of things helps avoid LOTS of arguments about things. </p>
<p>If I had to quantify the “demand” I guess our bottom line is progress toward a degree in a specific major. </p>
<p>Behavior: keep it legal and avoid activities which would put anyone’s future options at risk.</p>
<p>We told our S he could go to any school he wanted. We then gave him the dollar figure we were comfortable giving him for his schooling. We both see college giving as a gift not an obligation. It happens he chose a school slightly higher cost than our gift, so he’ll owe about 12 to 15 k at graduation.
We also felt it important he pay for a part of his school as we believe that is a life lesson, and believe it helps him to value his time there more.
Any grad school beyong the 4 yr degree is entirely his cost. Although afterward we may chip in to help, just won’t tell him that now.</p>
<p>No strings, she plays flute.</p>
<p>My daughter received a scholarship that allows us to be able to afford her college. The scholarship has a 2.75 GPA requirement. Our string is to have told her that without the scholarship we can’t afford the school, so if she doesn’t maintain the 2.75,home she comes to community college or something.</p>
<p>If they’re not going to be serious about their studies then I won’t be serious about paying for them.</p>
<p>We have acquaintances who when their son went away to school and got straight F’s, took the money that had saved for his education and remodeled their kitchen, went on a cruise, and bought a new car.</p>
<p>Yes, for their private school education and college now. If their grades drop below a certain level they would have to go to the local public school (HS and college). There is not that much wiggle room with “the level” we are talking about.</p>
<p>Our daughter had a full ride to both our state school and a very nice LAC. We agreed to pay for her current school if she is able to keep her grades at a certain level. There is nothing wrong with our state school and it would have cost us nothing. We told her for us to pay for full fare we expect her to work just as hard as we are.</p>
<p>Yeah; the Army requires he serve five years as an officer. No free ride there.</p>
<p>There are no strings attached for my kids and the topic never has come up. Then again, my kids are internally motivated and WANT to do well (and they do) and are very goal oriented. So, we have no need for this discussion. They appreciate their education and that this opportunity has been afforded them and they have indeed made the MOST of it and then some. </p>
<p>However, I realize that some kids do not make the most of their time at college and indeed I have met parents who are grappling with their kids doing poorly at college. In such a case, I would attempt to work with the child to give them a probationary chance to turn things around, but with an understanding that unless they are there to make the most of the education, then we wouldn’t want to pay for wasting the time there and perhaps they need to take a break and reassess their goals and what they wish to do to reach those. College is not for everyone. Also, some may benefit from time off. So, if I had a child who was doing poorly at school and goofing off, I’d have to reassess the plan for the time being and discuss alternatives so that their time and my money wasn’t wasted. </p>
<p>With my own kids, we have never mentioned GPAs expected, majors, or anything else. We support their choices and feel they have made great ones for themselves and really have taken advantage of their college years and so just never had a need to discuss such matters (nor did we in high school…regarding expectations…they were just a given…but then again, the kids have high expectations for themselves anyway).</p>
<p>Yes. She has to take her education seriously. Academics come first, then sorority/ec’s/friends. She has to progress. As I’ve told her about other things, I can’t care about her education more than she does.</p>
<p>No but I stressed education is very important. I used to think we can control our kid’s behavior(through this and that), but lately I resign to the fact that I will never be able to if she’s truly does not want to. It’s not my responsibility anymore besides the fact that it’s very stressful to control someone’s behavior from afar. I will pay for 4 years and after that if she has to wait on table for food, so be it. I made it clear, no health insurance, no car insurance, nothing.</p>
<p>Yeah, don’t flunk out and stay in school. Get decent grades. Make progress towards a degree of some kind. My dad said, he pays until I leave school. Then I’m on my own. Yay for going to law school on my parents’ dime. My mom suggested an MA in econ (through a BA/MA program), I was like, “what, you want to pay $60k so I can get another useless degree?” She quickly backed down.</p>
<p>But law school’s motivation enough for me to keep my grades up. A 3.4 last semester sent me into spiraling depression for a week or two. I’m shooting for a 4.0 this semester and doing the work for it. I’m trying to work up to a 178 on the LSAT from a 143. I’m in the process of looking for a summer job at a law firm. I don’t think my parents have to worry about anything, except for, maybe, I don’t know, spiraling depression and maybe a badly written cover letter.</p>
<p>This is how it is with my sister (who’s currently at Community College), so I’m assuming this is how it’ll be with me:</p>
<p>-My parents will pay for me to attend school, but if I fail a class and it’s required that I take it to get my degree, they will not pay for me to take it again.
-Maintain the grades they know I’m capable of (I’ve always been an A/B student, I got two Cs last year and that was HIGHLY unusual)
-Flunking/dropping out is not an option. However, my parents have made it clear that if I don’t like the school I’m planning on attending next year, I’m more than welcome to transfer to our local University or even City College and move back home.</p>
<p>No strings.
Ever.</p>
<p>Fortunately my children are self motivated.</p>
<p>No strings (although we’ve never actually come out and said so). </p>
<p>S, who is in his last semester of college, has done well enough that he has been accepted into PhD programs at six universities, all with financial support (research or teaching assistantships). He is currently agonizing over the choice of which program to say yes to. We never set any conditions for him, even though he is not exactly the world’s most reliable human being, and college turned out just fine.</p>
<p>D, who is a freshman, is even more academic and more responsible than her brother. Always has been. Her average for her first semester was slightly above 4.0 (the college has A pluses, which is why this is mathematically possible). Somehow, I can’t imagine setting conditions for her. It would seem ludicrous. </p>
<p>Yes, I am extremely aware of how lucky we are.</p>
<p>And no strings here in the other sense, either – D plays sax and piano, S used to play clarinet and oboe.</p>
<p>We have stated the amount we are willing to fund. If they flunk out they have wasted part of that money and that will have to be made up on their own when they go back to finish. S2 flunked out 2x’s. We will not pay in advance anymore for him. We will reimburses him for the remaining amount we had agreed upon when he successfully completes a term. </p>
<p>Agree with wharfrat2 - no strings - voice for DD :)</p>
<p>Not from Dad and I, but from the US Navy, yep.</p>
<p>Strings for both kids; they had/have to graduate within 4 years - anything more than 4 years is on their dime. For DD, no other strings, and she had no loans in her FA package. For DS, we asked him to fully invest himself in the school life and take advantage of school opportunities (and leave the computer games at home ;)), plus take out any student loans offered in his FA package.</p>