<p>Last night, D attempted suicide, and I just don’t know what to do. (For those of you wondering, no, I am not browsing the internet while my daughter is in the hospital. She’s asleep.)</p>
<p>I’d thought everything was okay. She was working on expanding her music portfolio (she wants to major in music) and she’d been so much happier as of late, and she seemed to be enjoying her classes again.</p>
<p>She’s seeing a therapist and she’s on antidepressants, and we’ve stopped talking about grades and schools in the house, instead encouraging her pursuit of composition. I don’t know how else I can support her other than ensuring her I’m there, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. I want to be strong for the family, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt weaker or in my life.</p>
<p>I know some of you have gone through similar situations, and I honestly don’t know: what should I do?</p>
<p>I am sorry to hear you and your D are going through this.</p>
<p>i am just a person on the internet, but i would suggest make sure that you two are not going through this alone. Find whatever help you can get whether it is from professional help, a local religious leader, school resources, etc.</p>
<p>If she’s in the hospital right now, she is presumably getting care to handle her physical needs. Make sure that her emotional needs are also being dealt with. Be sure to be her advocate. If you don’t think things are going well, make noise and rattle cages to get her the resources than can help her.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry. You must be devastated.<br>
Because you’ve asked, “what can I do,” my best suggestion would be to find a good family therapist. Sometimes an outside professional is able to see things that we, inside the family circle, aren’t able to see. But also, they can offer support for all of you. I also think it sends a good message to your daughter. “We love you and are willing to do everything we can to help you get well. This is not all on you.”<br>
Your daughter should continue with her own therapy, but I can’t help but think someone who has a lot of experience with family dynamics would be very beneficial as well.
Hang in there. Do not give up.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry. Depression and issues related to suicide are SO scary to deal with. Continue to seek out professional help. If you feel that your daughter is still suicidal, she should not be released from the hospital. Hugs.</p>
<p>OP, that is every parent’s worst nightmare. The only advice I have besides the obvious (stay in counseling, pray a lot, love a lot) is to check with the prescribing doctor regarding her medication and her dosage. Depression is an insidious thing. I have a close acquaintance that tried MULTIPLE medications and dosages to no avail, and finally decided to give up on medication and just deal with it with Rational Emotive Therapy. He still struggles, but is able to cope. Peace to you and hugs to everyone.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for what you’re going through. She must have been in such a dark place to make the attempt. </p>
<p>One thing I would suggest (if you haven’t done it already) is to try and get your D to authorize release of medical information to you so you can stay in the loop with her treatment. Also see if group therapy (you and D and fightingirishmom) would be something she would consider.</p>
<p>And don’t be afraid to talk about the suicide attempt. People think “bringing it up” will make the person suicide. It’s not talking about things that makes it worse.</p>
<p>I know you want to be strong, but maybe this is a time when she would appreciate hearing a time when you were scared, or down, or found it really hard to cope. We compare our insides to other people’s outsides. And sometimes we feel like we’re the only person who can’t pull things together.</p>
<p>I remember you fightingirishdad from your earlier posting. I’m so sorry. What you need to do, and you may have already, is get the best care you can for your daughter. Whether that is inpatient psychiatry and/or intensive therapy. Those of us with children that have suffered anxiety and depression are in total sympathy with your situation. Hold her close :(</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear this, but thankful that she did not succeed in this attempt. From what I’ve read, it is a known phenomenon for young people being treated with antidepressants to become suicidal. Let me hasten to add that I am NOT advocating not taking them: I suffer from depression myself, and I have recently started an antidepressant that is like a miracle drug for me. I would never go back. Every day when I think about how I felt two months ago, I give thanks. (And things are not perfect by any means, but now I can at least WORK on other issues in therapy.) I have been on antidepressants before, and from the perspective I now have, know that neither of them worked very well for me, even though I wanted to believe it. She may not be on the right thing for her. And therapy is essential too. I happen to have lucked out this time, and found a therapist who really suits me and is really good. Last time, not so much. This is a long road, with stumbles along the way. </p>
<p>I remember your earlier threads, and it sounds like you have been doing everything right. But you can only do so much. Your D and her doctors will have to find the right combination of drugs and therapy that works for her, with your continuing loving support. In the meantime, I would strongly support the idea of family therapy for you and your wife, and your other children if you have them.</p>
<p>I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. My 22 year old son succeeded in killing himself 18 months ago. Of course in retrospect, I would have done many things differently. I will never know if it would have made a difference, the bottom line it was his decision. At the time, I didn’t realize how serious the situation was and I was trying to give him some space. You didn’t say how old your daughter is, but if she is under 18, you have many more options. Continue therapy and medication for her, but also consider it for yourself and other family members. I can’t not tell you the number of people who came forward and talked about their depression as a young adult and how they struggled to “get through it”. Most of them said they wished they hadn’t waited as long to get help. I also heard from many parents of young adults suffering from depression. There are no easy answers. I also heard from many people who had family members who committed suicide. </p>
<p>I don’t know what method your daughter used but she “had a plan”. If you can remove the source (ie. guns), do so. Help her to develop a plan for when she is feeling suicidal. This is a terrible epidemic in our society.</p>
<p>No real advice, just to find her a GOOD therapist - not one that you like, but one that she likes. You may need a counselor, too, but the right one for you may not be the right one for her.</p>
<p>Encourage her and tell her that things change (the hormones change, the brain changes, and life changes). </p>
<p>As corny as it sounds, make sure she is eating well. One of the symptoms of hypoglycemia is severe depression. </p>
<p>Try to mitigate the damage to her life. The worst thing is if she thinks that this will cause problems in her life (school, work, college, etc.) that cannot be repaired. Assure her that you’ll find a way to make sure she can still attain her life goals.</p>
<p>Fightingirishdad, hugs to you and to your family. I remember your other posts and just want to say I’m sorry it has been such a tough road for you guys. I hope this is the darkest before the dawn phase. I really do.</p>
<p>In addition to getting your daughter help, make sure you have a good support system for yourself and take care of yourself, as well. </p>
<p>Im going to attempt to rewrite the post I lost.
Take care of yourself.
When on the runway the flight attendants caution parents to use the oxygen first before they attempt to help their child. You cant be of much assistance if you are unconscious. Good advice to remember!</p>
<p>I hope your daughter is stable and that she will recover.
Not knowing her condition, I am going to assume that this s the case.
The hospital should have medical social workers available to talk and to help you find resources. There may even be a hospital support group for loved ones. It could be helpful even if you don’t feel ready to share your situation.
It is not her fault this happened, it is not your fault.</p>
<p>Depression is an insidious disease and it can be hard to manage. Sometimes all you can think about is the pain and you would do anything to make it stop.
Press for a complete physical because there can be complex factors in depression. Thyroid issues for example. Hormone levels in teens and young adults may fluctuate and contribute to feeling unstable.</p>
<p>If her therapist isn’t working for her( & I am wondering if that is the case), changing therapists may be vital.
Psychiatrists aren’t known for their bedside manner, these days they are mostly medication management. Even though she likely will need medication, finding someone else to help her get through this could make a huge difference.
[Choosing</a> Depression Doctors, Therapists, and Psychiatrists](<a href=“http://www.webmd.com/depression/finding-doctor-therapist]Choosing”>Choosing Depression Doctors, Therapists, and Psychiatrists)</p>
<p>Changing meds can make a difference, but the process can be very difficult because of the time it takes to see if it is even going to work & the process of weaning off prior medications.
She doesn’t necessarily have to be on medication for the rest of her life, if that is a concern for her. Medication can help therapy be more effective and she can learn to develop more supports. Im wondering if perhaps she was being weaned off her medication too fast. ( Or if she was trying to do this herself) This can cause a rebound effect and the depression can become much worse.</p>
<p>Im also wondering if there was something to trigger it. It might help you to talk to her dr. While the staff is likely not able to disclose information to you, they should be interested in listening to you to hear what has been going on for her lately as it could help her.</p>
<p>I hope this is able to help alittle and keep taking care of yourself even if you feel you cant.
Eat, sleep, go outside.
It will get better.</p>
<p>I’m sorry too. I wish I could help. I know a woman who went through this during her college years–a year or so behind me. She got through it and is a middle aged mom like me. I’m hoping it’s just these difficult young adult years for your DD.</p>