<p>*Cecil has now informed us that his son is pursuing a girl he doesn’t find all that attractive, *</p>
<p>Ok…that’s just weird.</p>
<p>Nrdsb4-
OMG LOL!! Next time warn posters to put down all beverages before reading your posts!!</p>
<p>ACC quote about his wife who HE chose based on what was important to HIM…</p>
<p>*She had all the other characteristics that I value and I apparently had most of the ones she cared about. *</p>
<p>So, the choice was up to YOU…not your parents. The desirable characteristics were desirable by YOU, not your parents. That’s what counted. </p>
<p>Would you have dumped your then-fiancee if your parents didn’t respect that you were happy with your choice, but thought that you could “do better”?</p>
<p>I’m still sickened by the “looks” comment. I wish the OP would post a pic…I bet he’s a 3 on a scale of 1-10.</p>
<p>Earlier I thought the OP was a mom because the attitude was so “controlling mom-ish”. I was shocked to find out it was a dad. Dads don’t usually care much at all who their 16 year old sons are dating (as long as the chick isn’t some criminal or similar).</p>
<p>Right after college I lived in Miami. Well, actually Coral Gables but same thing. So one day I am driving down the interstate and a car with a hot babe passes me. I look over and see a bumper sticker that says: </p>
<p>Life is too short to dance with ugly guys. </p>
<p>I had to laugh. </p>
<p>One day, if you are lucky, I’ll post pics of me. You’d all enjoy that. I am sure it matters how hot I am or how hot I think I am since I am the only one who thinks looks are part of the equation hypocrites. I am sure none of you focus on looks when considering GF’s BF’s and life partners. Oh, I know it isn’t the most important thing, yeah, but it is important. </p>
<p>And please keep telling yourself that this is really just me talking. I am shallow. That explains it all. None of your husbands or sons think the way I do. Yeah, right. Whatever it takes to make you feel better is fine by me. </p>
<p>That dog will hunt. </p>
<p>Lastly, the girls are worse than the guys when it comes to focusing on looks first. And the girls dress in such a way that it is hard, if not impossible not to look. And the girls aren’t dumb about using their assets to manipulate their way to the top. It is the way the world works. </p>
<p>But its okay. </p>
<p>Vent your anger at me and that will make it all go away. I am shallow, thats all it is.</p>
<p>I’m still sickened by the “looks” comment. I wish the OP would post a pic…I bet he’s a 3 on a scale of 1-10.</p>
<p>-Is that because you lack for confidence in your looks? </p>
<p>-Sickened? Don’t fret I am one of the few people out there who is so shallow. </p>
<p>-It is really my loss.</p>
<p>
Planning the Valencia CC –> FSU route for him, ACCecil?</p>
<p>** Did’t you just say this a few weeks ago?
Is this the same son? Have you figured out his academic trajectory in a few weeks?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>OP, care to tell us what your hotness rating is on rate my professor? Go ahead, do tell.</p>
<p>(pssst, betcha I can guess.)</p>
<p>I was the one who said I looked 20 years younger- but I have to give more context- much of my time/interests are spent with those in that age bracket( but not exclusively so & actually- it is my guess of how old * they are*- so my clothing/appearance etc is fairly similar ( although I think I am a better dresser 
)</p>
<p>IMO it is a copout to say that those who don’t have appearance as a " screening" device- are saying so because they are themselves unattractive.
IMO it doesn’t mean a thing whether they are attractive by society standards or not & it shouldn’t.
Appearance is only one piece of who someone is & much of it is dependent on genes- .
I erased it
I happen to think they are both gorgeous- is that because one of them is my daughter or is it because I know them and to me, they are much more than what they look like?</p>
<p>Be careful about posting personal photos, EK. Not sure thats a great idea.</p>
<p>Why do you all keep feeding this jerk? Seriously, you are just fueling his narcissism. Stop already.</p>
<p>I have a hard time stopping myself I guess when someone is so obviously wrong.
:o</p>
<p>*I am sure none of you focus on looks when considering GF’s BF’s and life partners. Oh, I know it isn’t the most important thing, yeah, but it is important. *</p>
<p>This is where you’re off-track…Yes, each person needs to be attracted to their partner. BUT…and this is a big but…no one has to be considered attractive to their partner’s dad. </p>
<p>I said I was sickened by the “looks” comment because you’re the middle-aged guy “rating” a teen-aged girl on her looks (which suggests her lack of sexual appeal)…just gross ole dude.</p>
<p>*Is that because you lack for confidence in your looks? *</p>
<p>Heck no. My H thinks I’m hot…LOL (and that’s all that matters! My FIL’s opinion on the subject would not have mattered in the least to my H. )</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I didn’t make it through the entire thread. Just couldn’t. But I did notice the similarity between the looks of the girlfriend, the looks of the OP’s child, etc. Exactly what age is it when a child looks like a human being? You seem to think that looks are very important. They fade. People get sick, they get in accidents, things happen. If nothing else, they get old. Not only that, attraction is a very subjective thing. I find it disturbing that you are even critiquing a teen-age girl’s looks so closely.</p>
<p>Again, I didn’t read the whole thread and see I cross-posted, but I think Joe Kennedy was a nightmare of a husband and father. His wife didn’t even know he was taking his daughter in for surgery. He destroyed her child behind her back.</p>
<p>If he writes like a kid, thinks like a kid, and lives like a kid…it must be a kid. </p>
<p>This is a highschool kid trying to get a rise out of parents. He may post on any thread on the forum but this is not a grown man who has lived long enough to know that what he is saying is very childlike.</p>
<p>An true anecdote:</p>
<p>A few months ago my son’s GF goes out of town for the summer. They were just friends then. Anyway, she texts him while she is there. She tells him she “hates” going there because she always gains weight. She is worried about that. I know this because he tells me we talk things out. He asks my advice as to what to say back to her. You’ll notice that SHE was the one worried about her weight. I suppose you can blame that on me somehow too. </p>
<p>Now, you might think, if you’ve read this thread, and you think you know me as someone who values looks above all else, that I used this opportunity to turn him against her. You might think I told him to run for the hills and find a better girl. You might also think I insist my wife look the same way she did at 25 because if she gets crows feet I’ll leave her in a minute. You might think that I force her to get nips, tucks or lifts so that she can meet with my impossible to achieve standards of beauty. </p>
<p>One of the amazing miracles of being a parent is that you get such opportunities to share and guide. I told my son what I thought based on my world views. You can live in a bubble if you want but I choose not to ignore thousands of years of human behavior. He listened, he nodded, he did exactly what I suggested. </p>
<p>I love my wife for the way she is because I accepted her and whatever flaws she had when I met her and I felt comfortable with what I was getting when I got in. I have never pressured her to get nip or tucks or lifts but if SHE felt she wanted any procedure like that I might encourage her depending on if I agreed or not. </p>
<p>I know women face nearly impossible standards of beauty and no, frankly, it isn’t fair. </p>
<p>I like this site for what it is. There are people here from different places with different world views and I like hearing what’s going on. I prefer to be open minded not closed minded. I am comfortable with my looks, not that it matters. I will continue to keep it real with my boys. Not much different than what you do with yours. </p>
<p>And, if it matters, it looks like VCC then FSU for my kids but we will take some trips this summer before his senior year to see if other schools have more to offer. But VCC and FSU make good sense. The major is down to one of two, maybe, three things. No need to rush it. I don’t appreciate some of the insults leveled at me on this thread but I don’t take it personally and I am pretty sure I fired back some too. </p>
<p>Looking back on this anecdote I am comfortable with what I said to my son and what he said to her. As I said before, you can vent at me all you want but that will not change thousands of years of human behavior and it won’t make that kind of behavior go away just because you don’t like it or it doesn’t favor you. </p>
<p>You got to adapt and deal with the cards you have.</p>
<p>This is where you’re off-track…Yes, each person needs to be attracted to their partner. BUT…and this is a big but…no one has to be considered attractive to their partner’s dad. </p>
<p>-No duh. </p>
<p>-She isn’t going out with me. </p>
<p>-But exactly where is it written that I can’t give my $.02 to MY son about who he dates? </p>
<p>-He doesn’t have to listen to me but funny thing he usually does because funny thing I am usually right and when I am not right he says, “Dad, you are wrong.” </p>
<p>-So what’s YOUR problem?</p>
<p>OP, care to tell us what your hotness rating is on rate my professor? Go ahead, do tell.</p>
<p>(pssst, betcha I can guess.)</p>
<p>Ga Mom,</p>
<p>I haven’t a clue. So I just went and looked and out of 96 student ratings (at my current college) I believe my hotness rating to be 0.00. </p>
<p>Which is also Flounder’s GPA in the movie Animal House. </p>
<p>I do not dispute this rating. I accept whatever rating the students give me as to hotness and/or teaching ability. </p>
<p>I will tell you this. I personally know some of the folks that are rated hot … and I am pretty sure not all of those ratings are right. If they are right, I should be at least a 1.5 by now.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Your kid is a JUNIOR in HS. What the heck does it matter if he dates her for a month or a yr? He is 16. I repeat 16! </p>
<p>No need to rush his major, and I agree, but it sure as heck seems like you are rushing the relationship, which has about a 1 in 10K chance of ever becoming a lifetime relationship. DO you believe she is your future DIL? If so, than you are not being realistic. If not, than again, what is the big deal?</p>
<p>I am curious, how much input you will have with him deciding what major he will select. Notice these threads are littered with kids who have a great relationship with their folks, but hate college because they are majoring in a curriculum they don’t like at a school that the folks convinced them to attend.</p>
<p>I am sure it has been mentioned or asked before, is this your oldest child or only child? </p>
<p>I think you are missing what a lot of people are saying, you appear to be living vicariously through your child’s life or at the very least trying to mold him into what you think makes people successful from a social perspective and with that success you can puff up your chest and say THAT’S MY BOY!</p>
<p>As a public service to all of us who are reading this thread</p>
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