<p>Sure, I’ve heard of Chappaquiddick. I wouldn’t judge Ted’s entire life, and make blanket conclusive statements like stressing power over values, based on one lapse in judgement. As Pea said there are “nuances” there. I do not think Joe SR made the boys womanizers. I think the Kennedy men were extremely attractive to women, it takes two to tango, and lets not pretend women didn’t make themselves available to the Kennedy men. It is easy to be all righteous if one doesn’t have those same temptations in front of them. It is easy to judge and say John should have stayed faithful to his wife but I am not as quick to say the choices he made were completely wrong. </p>
<p>Further, to campsulize Ted’s life down to one incident is misleading. He did some good, he did some bad, he is about like the rest of us. </p>
<p>As far as alcoholics, ninety percent of the WWII generation drank as much the Kennedy’s did. Again, they are par for the course. </p>
<p>Happily, </p>
<p>I value other points of view. That is why I posted here. I am not always right. I say sorry when I realize I am wrong. Even if I hold convictions I am open to other points of view. </p>
<p>Perhaps you can practice an attempt at being consistent too. You admit you don’t know this or that yet you make wild accusations and conclusions based on faulty assumptions anyway. Hello. </p>
<p>Somehow, you actually thought I would call the girl, like I said in my OP, and tell her he hates her so she will break up with him? You thought that was a serious statement? You didn’t realize that statement was in jest? Hello.</p>
<p>Did I say Tiger was a perfect man? No. I pointed out his dad helped him reach his potential in life. Tiger could have ended up a bus driver and cheated on his wife. </p>
<p>Would that make you feel better? </p>
<p>Maybe his wife gained 110 lbs after he married her like a friend of mine’s wife did. Maybe the guy felt like he was stuck with a different women he married. </p>
<p>We don’t live in a world of absolutes, friend. Is it wrong to kill someone? Is it? What if someone sneaks into your house at night and threatens your family. Is it wrong then? </p>
<p>Tiger Woods faced temptations that most men don’t ever have to deal with. Most “good” men, if they had the chance, would do exactly what Tiger did. Is it still wrong?</p>
<p>“And my wife is a better parent than I? Now that is hilarious. Both my kids would be homeless if she were making all the decisions.” </p>
<p>I would imagine that your attitude toward your wife is quite evident by your actions at home. This is the kind of disrespect your son is learning from your example. I hope he somehow doesn’t follow in your footsteps.</p>
<p>He chose this girlfriend because she likes him. She’s not rude, an addict, thief, or slut. Maybe she’s really nice–your son thinks so, apparently. You have a problem with that? You’ve asked the question, should you intervene, and the responses have been nearly 100%-- leave it alone. Yet here you are, defending your apparent decision to interfere with your son’s personal life, because it’s your job as a parent. </p>
<p>So, you are here to amuse yourself and stir up debate. Have fun, and I wish all best to your son despite your arrogance. Write again for advice when the last kid is 18, and your wife leaves you…</p>
<p>^Might as well be a ■■■■■. No idea why such a person would bother posting a question given he strongly believes he’s a fantastic parent who has nothing to learn from anyone.</p>
<p>No. Married at 28. After college. Into my career. Not exactly established yet, in fact, had to move to Texas to take a great job when my wife was 8.5 months pregnant so she couldn’t drive over with me (they were afraid she’d have the baby in the car half way which would have been Louisiana) so she stayed with her Mom and Sister until the 1st son was born and waited until he looked like a human being before she got on a plane to make a family with me way out by my bad ass self in Texas. </p>
<p>I was “mature” depending on how CC defines that word.</p>
<p>First, get her phone number and give her a call. Ask her to meet you for coffee and grill her about her future prospects. Let your son know if you do or do not approve of her answers. I’d go ahead, too, and suggest a couple of make-over tips and maybe bring a couple of fashion magazines for her, as well.</p>
<p>You should call her parents up, too, and ask to see thier bank statements. Maybe you could hire someone to do a background check on the family? That might be a good idea, too. Ask the parents what kind of dowry they are planning to provide and if they can prove thier daughter is a virgin, as well.</p>
<p>You should look into her grades, her EC’s, her friends, her pets. Be very, very thorough. Once you are finished with all of this, compile a report, typed and double spaced, and sit your son down and go through it with him. Make sure to highlight your areas of concern if he were to marry this girl this summer. </p>
<p>You’re already late. You should get started and stop wasting time on the worldwideinterweb.</p>
<p>I would imagine that your attitude toward your wife is quite evident by your actions at home. This is the kind of disrespect your son is learning from your example. I hope he somehow doesn’t follow in your footsteps.</p>
<p>-Disrespect or honesty? You can’t handle the truth. My kids would be homeless if I wasn’t here to look out for them. That is the truth. </p>
<p>He chose this girlfriend because she likes him. She’s not rude, an addict, thief, or slut. Maybe she’s really nice–your son thinks so, apparently. </p>
<p>-She is? You act like you know her!! Please continue! For God’s sakes with advice this good from people who don’t even know what they are talking about can anyone else wonder why I am asking for advice here!!!??? </p>
<p>Do the math. Lots of men cheat. Rock stars, executives, politicians, athletes, rich guys, poor guys, Sandra Bullock’s husband, and on and on. </p>
<p>The one thing they have in common is they had the opportunity to have multiple partners. Most men, given a chance, are going to plant some seeds in that soil (no pun intended). </p>
<p>Now we can all decry it and agree how bad and wrong it is. That is called being politically correct. But what you can’t dispute is that most men, if given a chance, will have more than one sexual partner.</p>
<p>I’m giving opinions based on what I inferred from your posts. Read what I said closely; I said that there is no way for me to know the “real” you beyond what you post here, so of course I wouldn’t know your life beyond your words, but neither would anyone else here. As a result, since you asked for advice, we can only give advice based on the persona you portray here. So you can flap your arms and shout that we’re making wild accusations based on false assumptions, but you didn’t give us anything more than how you came across.</p>
<p>Same with the OP. To me, all you are are the words you type and since I don’t know you in real life, how am I supposed to know that you <em>wouldn’t</em> call up this girl? There are certainly people out there who would do it…</p>
<p>Dear god, I <em>do</em> hope you’re a ■■■■■. I mean, hasn’t it occurred to you how slightly pathetic it is that you’re so vehemently defending your parenting skills to a girl who is only a year older than your son? I must be hitting a nerve…</p>
<p>“Tiger Woods faced temptations that most men don’t ever have to deal with. Most “good” men, if they had the chance, would do exactly what Tiger did.”</p>
<p>Wow. Just wow. A stunning admission of a**hole-ness. Wonder what your wife would say if you gave her that opinion. Oh, that’s right, you’re just being honest…</p>
<p>and “But what you can’t dispute is that most men, if given a chance, will have more than one sexual partner.” Tell your wife that one, also. </p>
<p>It really does take all kinds.</p>
<p>Happilyhelen, you sound wonderful. My 22 yo son has a wonderful fiance, but if he didn’t, I’d be asking for your number in a few years…;)</p>
<p>I say this with no disrespect those out there who need medication to function on an every-day basis, but Cecil, did you go off of your meds??? Your posts are disjointed, illogical and just plain scary!</p>
<p>Who is defending? You are entitled to your opinion and thanks for sharing it. </p>
<p>mom92,</p>
<p>I’m sorry if you didn’t realize, until just now, how men behave if given the chance. Its’ kind of built into our genetic code to procreate. The people who make it seem so bad are saying that because they only have sex with themselves and that is only on a good night.</p>
<p>I’m pretty convinced by now that the OP just started this thread for his own amusement, which would be fine if not for all the other well-meaning posters who are taking the time and energy to offer their best heartfelt advice and personal experience. I feel badly that so many of you are being treated so disrespecfully (but not as sorry as I feel for this man’s poor spouse and kids).</p>
<p>This seems like a “pearls before swine” situation to me.</p>
<p>ACecil,
You’re setting yourself up for a very lonely old age. You remind me of my mom who had an opinion about every girl and boy my brother and I dated. She never liked either of the women my brother married. Now she has an opinion about every one of her grandkid’s friends and girlfriends/boyfriends. She has six grandkids, and none of them want to spend any time with her. Nor do her own kids. Who wants to have their
actions judged all the time, and the people they care about criticized?<br>
You say you won’t be this intrusive in the future, but these habits are hard to break.
And your kid will choose his partner over his dad, if he’s any man at all.
This girl is just a friend at this point. A girlfriend. At 16, he’s just beginning to test his own abilities in relationships. Give the boy some space to grow and find his legs in this game. Anything less is disrespectful, and it won’t be forgotten.</p>
<p>Oh, my god. I had hoped that, as they get older, men would get over the chauvinistic view of how the “natural” way for men to deal with women and sex should be. Apparently not. We’re all doomed to deal with guys with the maturity level of commitment-phobic young adults forever.</p>
<p>Thank you, ACCecil. Not only have you accused me of unstably making wild assumptions about you based on my emotionally unbalanced past, you’ve also destroyed what little faith I had left in love. Great.</p>
<p>How have I disrespected anyone who posted on this thread? Please be specific. </p>
<p>MoonChild,</p>
<p>I am not your mom. Stop projecting her problems onto me. Your mom is entitled to her opinions too. I’ll take my chances that I am setting myself up for being lonely one day. Thanks for the warning. You might think differently if you knew my kids.</p>