<p>I’m surprised that so many people posting here actually believe that the OP is real. Come on, people, don’t feed the ■■■■■■.</p>
<p>europa,</p>
<p>your post reminded me of what my Mom said to me when I was dating Bullet. Look at his father because that is who he will become.</p>
<p>22 yrs of marriage, 27 yrs of dating and Mom was right. Bullet is his father.</p>
<p>I would say the same to our DD, look at the DAD.</p>
<p>I agree, I would worry about my DD if she married his son. I would never stop it, but I would be looking up to the sky for a shoe to fall. His father’s opinions would make me pre-judge his son.</p>
<p>ACC if you think you are protective over your DS, you obviously do not have a DD! Trust me, who our son chooses as a mate is his choice, the boy our DD brings home is a different aspect.</p>
<p>Always, I thought he was a ■■■■■ too, but I checked he has been on the college forums. People need to understand, your count only increases if it is on college forums, parent forum doesn’t count.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You’re absolutely right. Over and out.</p>
<p>europa,</p>
<p>I hope your D finds guys out there that are in for the long haul too. When people gte parried they are at the height of their love for each other and some relationships weather the storms to come and others do not. </p>
<p>But let’s not pretend looks are not part of the deal. </p>
<p>What I found amusing is all the angst about that point of view. I’ll assume all of you are dating and/or married to folks you found unattractive. No, you waited until you found the whole package or as close as you could get. The holier than thou outrage is hypocrasy at its finest. </p>
<p>For the record, my son finds OTHER girls more attractive than this girl and, in my opinion, he is just stringing her along until a better fish comes along. I don’t approve of that and neither would anyone else attempting to teach his son rigth and wrong when it comes to relationships. </p>
<p>I told him flat out to wait until he is feeling that crazy feeling and doesn’t want to look at or talk to other girls. That will be the one! At least for now. </p>
<p>My wife was prettier than I was (so to speak) when I met her and she is better looking than I am now. I don’t worry about her imperfections but ladies if you sit on the couch all day and, perhaps gain a few pounds, don’t expect your dream guy not to be attracted to other women. Sorry. That dog won’t hunt. </p>
<p>Unless, of course you live in that comfy bubble world. </p>
<p>Join the Real World. Looks matter.</p>
<p>Is this thread for real??? Puleeze. A 16 yr old boy will have a bunch of girlfriends. OP-- Shut your flap and sit tight. The winds will shift eventually.</p>
<p>And if looks do matter, and your wife is better looking than you, perhaps you’d better watch out.</p>
<p>About looks…</p>
<p>I once dated someone who was really handsome. He turned out to be really mean. Maybe it wasn’t because of the looks, maybe it was always just him, I don’t know. But he was also from a wealthy family and I think everything had always been too easy for him. He had girls falling all over him, he had access to more money than he could spend, he was all set with a job in the family business after college so there was no motivation for him to study.</p>
<p>I ended up feeling really sorry for him. All that he had was a curse, not a blessing. Some of us who say that looks don’t matter are speaking from experience. In this particular situation part of the reason I dated this person was because he was so handsome so maybe I got what I deserved. I learned a lesson that I didn’t have to be taught twice.</p>
<p>This thread is so depressing. I’m getting the impression now that perhaps the son’s girlfriend is overweight, and the OP doesn’t approve of that. I read the OP’s prior threads, and I’m even more depressed to learn that he is a college professor…I wouldn’t want my daughters taught by someone with such objectifying thoughts about women.</p>
<p>"What a shame arranged marriages are not the norm in our culture . . . a new frontier for helicopter parents. "</p>
<p>I have inlaws who are hasidic Jews, and who DO make arranged marriages for their children. However they do not ooze what this OP oozes. Looks are certainly NOT the central consideration for them “Grace is deceitful, beauty vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” Mostly its practical considerations of money and status, and they sometimes even try to look for a good personality fit.</p>
<p>So many girls have cosmetic surgeries now. Wouldn´t it be a hoot if a boy were to marry a beautiful woman (big eyes, perky nose, sexy lips and high cheekbones), but only to get an ugly grandchild because he/she inherited mother´s original features? In that case, would that be ground for a return?</p>
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</p>
<p>Pima, I’ve been around long enough to know how the post count works, as well as long enough to know how to do a search. Having been around for a while doesn’t preclude the opportunity for posting trollish type nonsense like this OP. Through the years there have been many topics started in the Parents Cafe that are clearly fiction, posted for who knows what reason. Some people have too much time on their hands and like to stir things up.</p>
<p>*For the record, my son finds OTHER girls more attractive than this girl and, in my opinion, he is just stringing her along until a better fish comes along. I don’t approve of that and neither would anyone else attempting to teach his son rigth and wrong when it comes to relationships. *</p>
<p>I am assuming you know this because you have questioned him or he has brought this up on his own?
If he is using this girl- that outweighs all concerns that she isn’t " good enough" for him.
Sounds like he isn’t " good enough" for her- since he doesn’t have the balls to be by himself until he is able to “attract” someone that he thinks is attractive.</p>
<p>I think we all end up with someone that we are relatively equal to in the desirability dept. My H for example- I think- is more physically attractive than I am ( or at least I thought so when we met), but I have other attributes that make me a match ( and we have been married almost 30 years )
His parents ( especially his mother) never have warmed to me- ( I met him when I was 18), and unfortunately this distance kept them on the sidelines with our family, even though we live in the same city.</p>
<p>The way we see ourselves & the face we present to the world- is partially visual & that is how we first get information about others- so yes, appearance is important.
But who you are, when you are with others, the joy or stress you bring with you, * that* is what makes the difference.</p>
<p>While ( to borrow from a television character speaking about her partner) my H’s features are symmetrical and his overall appearance is quite pleasing ;), I have known him so long, that I barely notice the way he looks, but pay more attention to how and who he is.</p>
<p>I have known people, who are average to homely in appearance if I stopped and thought about it, but their personality makes them shine & they are beautiful.</p>
<p>I have also known people who are jaw droppingly gorgeous but their warmth and genuine pleasure in life is so infectious, that I actually forget what they look like ( until they are introduced to others & I notice their reaction)</p>
<p>The opposite is also true of course, you can physically be stunning , but have nothing inside to show for it, or worse.</p>
<p>
LOL, alwaysamom-- this must be a shared sentiment, as I was directed to this thread by another poster who backchannelled me , with similar thoughts. Gee, a certain Dad with some roman numerals in his name hasn’t been on in a few weeks to post one of those outrageous threads that seem to fly outta his keyboard…</p>
<p>The opposite is also true of course, you can physically be stunning , but have nothing inside to show for it, or worse. </p>
<p>-I agree. </p>
<p>-But can we be honest?</p>
<p>-This is also what unattractive people say to other unattractive people to make themselves feel better. They have to pull down the attractive folks somehow so they come up with how shallow they are. </p>
<p>-Funny thing is some of the ugly folks are just as bad if not worse.</p>
<p>Alwaysamom.</p>
<p>I hope you are right and he is a ■■■■■.</p>
<p>The fact is I agree, ignore any post by ACC. </p>
<p>If you respond you only add fuel to the fire.</p>
<p>Ignore him and let this thread die. He will get the message very quick when posters talk over him!</p>
<p>Ignore him and let this thread die. He will get the message very quick when posters talk over him! </p>
<p>-The truth hurts. </p>
<p>-Make room in that bubble. </p>
<p>-Just because you don’t agree with me doesn’t mean I wrong.</p>
<p>See if this makes sense, Cecil. Certainly looks matter to most people. What your son’s girlfriend looks like, though, is not really supposed to matter to you. Tell the truth, wouldn’t you feel a bit sheepish saying any of this out loud to a group of adults?</p>
<p>Oooh, but its so entertaining and an amusing distraction form the day’s work, b&p. This line of silly reasoning in post # 153
is particularly ridiculous. Bellylaughs.</p>
<p>
You said it! Actually, Cecil’s posts remind me of a guy who was around for a while last year and created some similar parenting threads. Wasn’t from Florida, though. But the writing style and baiting attitude were similar.</p>
<p>Okay, no problem by me let’s all agree ACC is todays joke and we all agree he is a ■■■■■.</p>
<p>Okey dokey let’s go with his stupidity…he admits he is not as attractive as his wife, so I guess his wife lowered herself by marrying him! I am sure her parents are deeply embarrassed that she married beneath herself.</p>
<p>He is a ■■■■■, and all he enjoys is yanking our chain.</p>
<p>Personally I believe that there should be some sort of matchmaking board where the attributes that we want enhanced in our familial genetic line would be premiere. </p>
<p>Intelligence: very importent (but then again a new study indicates that very intellegent people have a greater likelihood of having autistic/Asperger offspring) match IQ to IQ</p>
<p>Family income: Rich marries rich. I for one, don’t want MY children marrying beneath them, squandering their inheritance(s) on an unworthy one. (Oh, wait. My husband’s family was rich…mine wasn’t…Too bad, now I’m part of the haves…screw everyone else)</p>
<p>Education: again…like marries like…Except my RICH inlaws didn’t graduate high school. My family are college graduates going back 100 years.</p>
<p>Athletic ability: VITALLY importent…except one of my kids is dating someone who wasn’t exposed to athletics because he was too busy studying and his family wasn’t athletically inclined. Ditch the guy…my daughter was a nationally ranked athlete…and maybe he’s a bit short to make a pro athlete in the next generation.</p>
<p>Looks: My blond son and daughter MUST marry the same…too bad for the brunette…Although saving grace is that they all have blue eyes, perfect noses…but needed braces…</p>
<p>I think that someone out there should do some studies about creating a super race.</p>
<p>…oh wait, someone did…a Dr. Mengele I believe.</p>
<p>Find your heart and go for it.</p>