<p>See if this makes sense, Cecil. Certainly looks matter to most people. What your son’s girlfriend looks like, though, is not really supposed to matter to you. Tell the truth, wouldn’t you feel a bit sheepish saying any of this out loud to a group of adults? </p>
<p>-No. My son can do better. I could sugar coat things but what is the point of being dishonest? I’d rather not live in the same bubble world that 80% of the folks here CHOOSE to live in because reality is harsh in some ways. I’d rather adapt, deal with and cope with the cards I have. That is my life lesson. Don’t whine and complain do what you can with what you got. </p>
<p>-Most adults I know respect that kind of honesty. </p>
<p>-The folks who cringe because looks are PART OF, although not all, of the deal have decided to focus on people that value other characterisitics besides looks probably because they fall short when it comes to looks. That is fine. That is doing what you got to do. But spare me the OMG how mean I am for being honest about how important looks are because that dog won’t hunt. </p>
<p>-How many marriages end up in divorce? What fifty percent or more? Why? In part because some people, after getting married, let themselves go. These same people get all mad at attractive folks because they are shallow or whatever.</p>
<p>-Let’s critisize attractive people or people who value looks to make ourselves feel better about not being attractive. </p>
<p>-That sounds like fun. </p>
<p>-If it makes you feel better go for it. </p>
<p>-By the way, when you are done being holier than thou, don’t think for one second your sons and daughters don’t think the same way I do.</p>
<p>When I see Jennifer Aniston at Bristol Farms I’ll be sure and tell her that this guy knows the reason that Brad Pitt left her: She let herself go.</p>
<p>*This is also what unattractive people say to other unattractive people to make themselves feel better. They have to pull down the attractive folks somehow so they come up with how shallow they are. *</p>
<p>Possibly… but I guess I don’t have that narrow of a view.</p>
<p>I wasn’t using that statement to indicate that I was more or less attractive than the average person- & I don’t think looks are the most important thing about me( Although I finally think my red hair is cool )- but I will say that I am proud of the fact that I am in pretty good shape & can pass for someone twenty years younger ( although I am not * proud* of being proud of that) ;)</p>
<p>Consider the list of people who are so " good looking" they are in show business, but are so messed up in their personal lives.</p>
<p>Would you rather be Mel Gibson or Danny DeVito?</p>
<p>I think that someone out there should do some studies about creating a super race.</p>
<p>…oh wait, someone did…a Dr. Mengele I believe.</p>
<p>Find your heart and go for it. </p>
<p>-Ellebud what a hypocrite you are. When you got married you valued looks along with all the other traits you wanted and please don’t pretend you didn’t. </p>
<p>-Because one does do that does not make one Dr. M. </p>
<p>-There are certain folks that are great people but if married and producing kids with certain other folks the child might come out looking rough. It is best to procreate with someone who is your match genetically. You know it as well as I do.</p>
<p>Hey, if this guy’s a ■■■■■, at least it’s been an interesting ■■■■■ </p>
<p>But seriously, even if the situation were different–say dad posted saying he was worried about 16 year old son who was dating a knock out with the IQ and personality of a clam, I suspect most of us would give the same advice, i.e., if she doesn’t have any major character flaws, keep your mouth shut. It’s just not a dad’s business.</p>
<p>I wasn’t using that statement to indicate that I was more or less attractive than the average person- & I don’t think looks are the most important thing about me( Although I finally think my red hair is cool )- but I will say that I am proud of the fact that I am in pretty good shape & can pass for someone twenty years younger ( although I am not proud of being proud of that) </p>
<p>-And you should be proud you maintained yourself. You should be happy you kept improving and growing in life. </p>
<p>-Had you NOT done these things you should NOT have acted all shocked and offended if you mate said see you later at some point. Fifty percent of marriages end that way and part of the reason is because looks matter. Period. </p>
<p>-Now, where I will agree with the crowd is my son is 16 so at this point maybe I should just shut up and let him date her. If he wants to marry her – then I can freak out.</p>
<p>I guess those parents of gorgeous bi-racial people like Vanessa Williams made a terrible mistake for not reproducing with their “genetic match.”</p>
<p>I married someone who I thought had attractive qualifities TO ME. NOT my parents idea of what was/wasn’t attractive in different areas. MY parents, whatever their opinions, kept quiet all their lives long. </p>
<p>And that was a gift that I cherished and will pass on to the future.</p>
<p>I just love how these absolutely ludicrous threads get such great traction! Especially love the “don’t deny you think the way I do because we all know you do, you just won’t admit it” mentality. Shades of elementary school, LOL</p>
<p>Oh dear. I guess my S is going to get dumped by his GF because he doesn’t have six-pack abs and he attends a school less highly ranked than she does. </p>
<p>I’ll send them the memo after they celebrate their 3rd anniversary this weekend. ;)</p>
<p>I find a father’s interest in his son’s 16 yo GF’s appearance more than a bit disconcerting.</p>
<p>I think I’ll go rummage around to see what colors of duck tape I have. (thanks, mathmom!)</p>
<p>"No. My son can do better. I could sugar coat things but what is the point of being dishonest? I’d rather not live in the same bubble world that 80% of the folks here CHOOSE to live in because reality is harsh in some ways. I’d rather adapt, deal with and cope with the cards I have. That is my life lesson. Don’t whine and complain do what you can with what you got. "</p>
<p>If you were really dealing with harsh reality, you would be worrying about what COLLEGE your 16 yo is going to go to, what they are going to major in, and whether they are prepared to handle it, like all the rest of us here. Not about whether the girl he is dating, whom he will 99% likely have broken up with within 2 years anyway, is as pretty as he could get. Do you also agonize about whether he makes wise choices in what he picks to eat at restaurants? </p>
<p>If you were really dealing with harsh reality, you would be worrying about what COLLEGE your 16 yo is going to go to, what they are going to major in, and whether they are prepared to handle it, like all the rest of us here. Not about whether the girl he is dating, whom he will 99% likely have broken up with within 2 years anyway, is as pretty as he could get. Do you also agonize about whether he makes wise choices in what he picks to eat at restaurants? </p>
<p>-Already got college figured out. Pretty much sure of major. </p>
<p>-She lives in the same neighborhood so she isn’t some girl across town he will take to the movies twice and only see in the halls at school. So it could last. Don’t tell me what to worry about, shouldn’t you be worrying about your own kids and not making dumb assumptions dad?</p>
<p>I can’t stand my daughter’s boyfriend anymore but I figure she will discover it all on her own eventually. He lies, cheats, and flaunts it in her face while telling her how much he loves her. Hard to stand by and watch but years ago when I liked him I told her what a great guy he was so here we are and she is back together with him. Yeah…it makes me want to puke.</p>
<p>^^ That’s easy. Status. The dad has little of it, and hopes his son will bring him some. To some degree, son apparently has already, as he’s an athlete who has made dad proud. But now, he’s dating someone beneath him. Dad stands to lose status once again.
Those of you who think he’s a ■■■■■ can’t believe any dad would be so nuts? I believe it because I have people in my own family like this.
He’s just being honest here because we don’t know him, but I believe he’s real.</p>
<p>Speaking to the why do more than 50% of marriages end in divorce part:</p>
<p>My ex let himself go, gained about 50 lbs. Is that why I left him? No. It was because he was a controlling, critical bore. Someone who thought he knew it all, was better than everyone else. In other words, he had self esteem issues, and overcompensated.</p>
)- but I will say that I am proud of the fact that I am in pretty good shape & can pass for someone twenty years younger ( although I am not * proud* of being proud of that) ;)</p>
</p>