I’ve done a lot of thinking about life and death, growing older and mortality in the past few months. I was quite depressed for a while, could not escape the thought that one could be perfectly fine today, but wake up tomorrow with a lump or a pain that was going to change everything.
Feeling better now and have come to realize that this is the time to enjoy life more and do the things that bring me joy. DH and I are planning two trips this year, and I am not going to delay them because what if my parents need me or maybe we should pay off a few more bills first, we are going this year.
I just purchased a new comforter and window shades for our bedroom and am having the room painted next week. Not 100% necessary, but it will make me happy every day.
What else? What can you do today or this month or this year that makes you happy?
Amen to all that. Most of us need to hear it and be reminded of that often.
I made my “happiness list” for 2019. I posted a thread about it. It’s in the back of my mind all the time now. I do my first review of my list this week! (reviewing it monthly).
I’ve been making a concerted effort to visit older relatives and talk about the old days and family history. It’s been a joy for both them (I think!) and me. I’ve also been trying hard to put various life concerns into perspective.
I’m thinking about it a lot lately. Some of it involves spending money, but some is more about using and enjoying the things I have. Using the nice crystal and enjoying my jewelry, rather than worrying about losing it, that type of thing.
I am also really starting to think we have all been sold a bill of goods about saving for retirement. What is the point about setting money aside for when I am 80 or 85? Wouldn’t it make more sense to loosen up a bit and enjoy NOW?
I look at my parents, who have plenty of money, and do absolutely nothing. Maybe not so much now, but 20 years ago, there was no reason for them not to travel or take vacations or treat themselves to things they would enjoy.
And time, what a precious commodity. It really bothers me to be inside an office, working in front of a computer all day when it is a beautiful spring or fall day. Maybe this is finally the year I say screw it.
@rockvillemom, I’m glad your doing better.
We are choosing to work a little while longer than “necessary,” but we are taking nice vacations while still working. We are also spending some money on our home, so we can enjoy our time in it.
This year I took the silver cutlery chest out of its hidy-hole and brought it to where we will actually use the place settings. Coming up on our 30 year anniversary - really - what special occasion is there that would supersede the fact that we are here and healthy and happy today?
I love this thread. I run a lot of races, and my favorite sign that spectators hold up says, “Some day you won’t be able to do this. This is not that day.” It applies to much more than just running.
I just look back at my life and how I have been living the past few years - and I see a lot of practicality and responsibility - and not as much fun.
I started 2019 thinking the theme for the year would be “health and wellness”, and I am not abandoning that at all, but this year is going to have two themes and the second one is “joy”.
Please enjoy life and do not wait for tomorrow. My MIL was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s at 64. She had obvious symptoms for 4 years prior. Reading from a script to carry on a conversation is not normal. Getting in a snow covered car and driving when none of the windows have been cleared is not normal. Her husband and children put their heads in the sand. Maybe there could have been some treatments that would have allowed her and my FIL to travel and enjoy life for a little bit longer.
My husband and I have always been very frugal. We recently celebrated a milestone event. We splurged on the airfare, hotel, and dining and enjoyed every minute of it.
@rockvillemom and @dietz199 , I am doing the same. We are using the good china and my precious tea set is coming out of storage.
Entertaining is something we do often. Low budget potlucks and BYOB. Its a motivator for me to clean house!
Traveling makes us happy and we budget for it. Our vacations often involve a lot of walking.
But for day-to-day, I would love new curtains with blackout shades for DH. That is on my urgent to-do list. I, too, want to have our bedroom painted. We had our downstairs painted a lighter color and I love how bright it is now!
Frugality has its benefits, and I have been focused on the idea of retiring debt free. But who knows if we even make it to retirement? Which would be worse, to have money worries and constraints in your 80s? Or to miss out on enjoying life in your 50s and 60s because you are so consumed by saving for retirement?
I am choosing to enjoy what I have - both in terms of possessions and time. And splurges are now allowed!
The little things that make you happy are what is most important. For many, the option to stop working, travel more freely, etc. - is not an option financially. Be grateful if that is an option for you, but always remember that the little things can add up to happiness if you really savor each one.
@abasket - I agree with you, because we can all do that.
For me, besides using the “good stuff” every day, it is time outside. I cannot begin to count the number of beautiful spring or fall days where I sat inside my office and said to myself that I would take a break and go outside at noon, and than it was at 1pm, and then it was at 3pm for sure, and I never did. That ends now. The work will be there when I get back.
I actually tried to cut my hours to 32/week last September, mgmt agreed, but then life happened and it did not work out. Maybe this fall I do it for real, no excuses.
My dad is 96 and this very question runs through my mind daily. We’ve talked.
He’s happy and contented with his life. No regrets. He took care of my mom for close to 10 years so he didn’t get to do some things (mainly travel-wise) that might have been on his bucket list. But I’m not sure there was much left on the bucket list anyway. He missed some opportunities but you can’t look back. Only forward.
My own priorities:
Travel-- Don’t put it off. Go. Now. You just never know when a knee or something else gives. If you want to go anywhere in Europe you need to know they are not handicap friendly. Go when you’re healthy and ready.
Not sure I have a priority after that.
Money-- A good financial plan means having retirement, bills paid, AND some “fun” money too. There are a lot of aspects to a good life. Dave Ramsey’s “Total Money Makeover” will give some guidelines as to money management.
Parents–"I look at my parents, who have plenty of money, and do absolutely nothing. Maybe not so much now, but 20 years ago, there was no reason for them not to travel or take vacations or treat themselves to things they would enjoy.
So don’t follow their lead. And you don’t necessarily know why they made those decisions. They are not you. My mom hated air travel–which was extremely limiting of course for my dad. But it was not MY problem. Or worry.
In my own life we missed vacation trips from work, kids, political situations in other countries etc. I don’t expect my kids to worry about my own life decisions.
“And time, what a precious commodity. It really bothers me to be inside an office, working in front of a computer all day when it is a beautiful spring or fall day. Maybe this is finally the year I say screw it.”
Options:
1–Screw it. So what do you really want to do? Can you feasibly make it happen?
2–Make your work environment more inviting on a daily basis? Treat yourself more at lunch break? Go exercise and get outside during those great days? Make closer ties to co-workers?
Be kinder to yourself? Bring a touch of home to your desk?
" and said to myself that I would take a break and go outside at noon, and than it was at 1pm, and then it was at 3pm for sure, and I never did. That ends now. The work will be there when I get back."
Great! This is a habit thing. Make it a requirement for yourself for 30 days. No excuses. Go outside at noon.
