^^^ The observations about drifting really resonate with me. DH has five years until he can retire with healthcare coverage. He’s working out of state now, teleworking from here one week in four, and we’re trying to find a way to live instead of just marking time and hoping he gets a job in our small home state. We don’t want to be stuck in the Waiting Place of “Oh the Places You’ll Go!”
I was recently speaking with a fellow empty-nester who expressed how she is ready for the next phase of her life if she just knew what it should be. I think the answer is not to wait for something to happen, but instead to try different things until you stumble upon the right something. Just like with kids graduating college and starting out, you need to be doing something and on a path of some kind. The journey is as important as the final destination.
I’m planning to retire as soon as DD has a baby and will spend the first year doing childcare. DD is newly pregnant and it is very early yet, but I an thinking of retiring at the end of August. That first year is precious, and it is hard to find good infant care. It is a bit frightening, but we own our house and cars and have pensions. I tell myself that I can always get a parttime job in a year or two if I feel like we need to save more money or if I am bored. I’d like to be available to visit friends and help out without the stresses of a job. It very much feels like it would be moving into the next phase of my life - scary!
I thought of something I’m enjoying now: adopting senior dogs. I feel as though I have much in common with these discarded oldsters.
We took DH’s “bucket list trip” last year. The three week trip to Europe with friends included a 7-night canal boat rental (think floating motorhome) on Canal-du-Midi in southern France. DH has been wanting to do that for a long time, and he talked 2 other couple into having the same dream. So I had to go too 
Loved it!
@colorado_mom That truly sounds amazing. Now, that’s my dream too.
@ams5796 - When you feel like dreaming, some of the info for the trip (Barcelona, Toulouse, Canal-du-Midi, Paris) is in my related thread … http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/2045388-toulouse-tips-canal-du-midi-canal-trip-planning.html#latest
I’m in that “in between” stage too. I work full time (I’m almost 62), kids are launched. But…I’m really enjoying it. H and I plan to work 2-4 more years, might as well put more in savings. I changed jobs (within my company) 1.5 years ago and my new job is very regular hours so that’s been like a gift. Even with working full time and traveling to see aging parents, H and I still manage some fun travel. I have time to read, practice yoga, run, see friends, etc.
I look forward to retirement, but not ready yet.
I took a much less stressful job within the last year, and after the furlough even my workaholic husband seems ready to work less and enjoy life more. We have 3 trips planned this year,and hope for at least one more.
@anxiousmom, I had a boss once who was planning to take an overseas assignment for adventure. I specifically asked her about grandkids, and her response was she had raised her kids, and wasn’t concerned about them. Her daughter got pregnant, and she retired to take care of the kid. She’s still doing it part time, about 5 years later.
My enjoy-it-now experience of the day was getting the dog professionally groomed. However, she disagrees that it was enjoyable.
Yesterday, I watched my friend with cancer struggle to move. Walking near impossible right now.
Today, I took a long walk and as I walked, I thanked and appreciated my body. The ability to get up from a chair, the ability to walk a few miles with no discomfort, etc. I won’t take it for granted again.
I’ve had similar feelings while helping my formerly incredibly energetic and healthy father as he struggles to recover from a devastating stroke he suffered while visiting me for Thanksgiving.
Vitality and a feeling of physical well being is something we should never take for granted.
FB reminded me today that this is one of my favorite quotes. Very timely.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Mark Twain
It is really important to incorporate some things you enjoy now, rather than waiting for retirement. I am in that in-between stage and have been at my job for a really long time (part-time for many years, but full time for about 8 years now). Job is fine, can be stressful and involves a commute. But at this point, I don’t feel like I am marketable given my age.
There are many ways to bring joy into your life on an everyday basis, even if you are working full time. If you can afford it, join a gym or take a yoga or other active class. I have come to love my time at the gym (I go straight from work as I wouldn’t get there if I went home first). I also love to walk and will walk even at night with a light, and it is free! I also take an art class one night a week and while I am not very good, I am getting better. Book groups with friends or through a local library can be great and free! Adult schools have low cost classes or community college. Or volunteer! After many years of volunteering, I am looking for my next volunteer gig. I like to keep busy, but even having something interesting on your plate one night a week or every other week can lift your spirt.
And yes, I try to practice gratitude every day - that I can still work and walk several miles with my friend yesterday in the sunshine after the polar vortex lifted. And try it operative word, not always easy when life throws obstacles in your or your kids’ paths.