<p>I’m pretty shocked at that over some pot. And shocked the RM has such a swift answer. No administrative hearing? I’d think some kind of probation would be more appropriate. I hope your son comes out of it okay.</p>
<p>I had a talk when my kid was on financial aid about no room for experimenting if she was going to attend a boarding school (to her embarassment.) But I never thought of having such a talk about the code of conduct at college. I hope some parents will see this post and show it to their students who are off to college. Such devastating consequences and stress over foolishness. You know this response wouldn’t have occured at most colleges, most likely.</p>
<p>Some colleges have a zero tolerance policy. </p>
<p>But, as I said earlier, we do not know, what kind of circumatances the RM was in. It may not have been the first time he got into trouble with the school. He may be on academic or some other type of probation. He may have been warned or already been given a drug and alcohol class…We have no way of knowing. Since that is confidential, even OP has no way of knowing.</p>
<p>Sounds like the son got caught between campus police and the RM. Hopefully the school will deal with him as a first offender.</p>
<p>OP-- getting angry won’t help you. The campus rules aren’t up for negotiation. So, your son has to be silent and contrite, and mostly listen. If you feel you are headed down a legal and not just slap on the hand route, engage an attorney.</p>
<p>I think it may be relevant that this is a Jesuit college, and possibly more conservative on these issues. I know that both pot and fake ID’s are rampant at many top, top colleges, and the consequences are nowhere near as severe as proposed in this case.</p>
<p>A key question at the schools with which I am familiar is, whether the student was dealing of not. The search found stored marijuana in a pill container, not an amount that would suggest dealing, actually.</p>
<p>Being too antagonistic or even defensive in the first meeting with administration could backfire. That doesn’t mean that legal help might not be crucial afterwards. There is a risk that your son could say something that could bring trouble, but that is counterbalanced by the benefits of keeping things friendly rather than adversarial. </p>
<p>Tough call, but I would talk to a lawyer, counsel your son, but not encourage a battle from the start. The only thing that worries me is that this is obviously a zero-tolerance, conservative environment that may not be flexible in working things out. A lawyer could help prepare for that kind of rigidity, perhaps.</p>
<p>I feel for the roommate too. What a loss, for doing what so many kids do every day, and with little or no penalty. Yes, there are some whose work suffers, or whose lives get off track because of pot, but for the most part, smoking marijuana is pretty benign.( In my state it is no longer a criminal offense.)</p>
<p>Regarding the RM, according to my S, he has never been in trouble before either, and has a 3.9 GPA, which IMO, is fantastic for a freshman.</p>
<p>I’m sick over the whole thing, what a waste. </p>
<p>Neither my son nor I will be antagonistic. I’m going to have my H call, he’s much calmer and is very good at speaking with people. I tend to get emotional.</p>
<p>Roommate was suspected, then his things should be searched…NOT OP’s son’s things. That just doesn’t seem right…doesn’t pass the smell test to me.</p>
<p>What I am most impressed is how caring OP and her son are for RM. Now there may be parts to the story that we dont know about RM. But to me OP and her son represent the true Jesuit/Catholic goals of caring for others, even when you are having a difficult time.</p>
<p>"g. Providing false identification:
g1. Possessing, conspiring to
obtain, or using false
identification. Standard sanction:
deferred suspension from the
residence halls and a $250.00 fine
per false ID. False IDs
confiscated by the University will
be forwarded to the appropriate
State authorities. "</p>
<p>Deferred suspension from Residence Halls? My son is full pay and there isn’t any off-campus housing to speak of. If he’s barred from getting on-campus housing we will strongly encourage him to transfer, He’s got a good GPA too and I’m becoming increasingly disturbed with the schools draconian attitude towards what is, IMO, a minor infraction that harmed no one.</p>
<p>Jesuit institutions really ought to be more forgiving. Glass houses and all that.</p>
<p>Every family should look at the student handbook prior to accepting admission. I have known many families that suddenly realized what the sanctions were, and what campus police could do. The hearings that take place are not at all similar to what one would expect re: the American justice system. The 5th amendment for one doesn’t exist (most colleges view it as an honor violation)
Lawyers typically aren’t a part of it, but do not let them talk your son into attending by himself. He needs you there as a strong advocate, and to ensure that his rights, such as they are in college, are not violated.
Sanctions for underage drinking, pot, and fake-ids are different at all schools, thus you really need to pursue the student handbook as part of your decision making process. Many kids make mistakes that no one expects, so knowing that information ahead of time could prevent the mistakes from happening, and if it does happen all are better prepared if they know their rights and the college’s views ahead of time.
Public universities might have stronger sanctions than private, depending on the state.
Too many students lives are disrupted due to often silly mistakes, that in our generation would not have even been looked at askance.</p>
<p>OP just a head’s up on transferring; this violation will show up on his transcript. Another tidbit that will be revealed at the hearing in terms of sanctions.</p>
<p>Here is a go to source for you: [FIRE’s</a> Guide to Due Process and Fair Procedure on Campus - FIRE](<a href=“http://thefire.org/article/5060.html]FIRE’s”>Newsdesk | The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression)
They have info on due process at both public and private universities. You can download all you need for free. Scroll down (you can download full or just the one on private schools)
I wish you all the best, and am so sorry for everyone involved.</p>
<p>I dont think there is going to be a severe consequence for the OP’s son, as long as he is quiet and remains calm.</p>
<p>I’m sick about this kind of thing happening. I can’t figure out how our culture has gotten to this point. We know MORE now because of brain research, that kids do stupid things and it’s part of the process of growing up. We’ve really gotten out of hand with the zero tolerance and the punishments and legalese in situations which, honestly, could be handled in such a better way.</p>
<p>And then people wonder what creates helicopter parents… It’s this situation where the consequences so outstrip the infraction. I feel horrible for a boy who is probably being punished by people who grew up in a much more foregiving era…</p>
<p>In the meantime, I hope it all goes well. I’m glad your son has a dad he can count on in this situation, as well.</p>
<p>3321 – Unless you know this particular school, alchohol infractions do NOT necessarily show up on transcript. Many times there will be sanctions that do not rise to the level that they go on a transcript.</p>
<p>It depends on how they interpret the fake id; I wouldn’t assume that to be only an alcohol sanction. I am basing my claims on cases that have actually happened to people I know, at a variety of schools.</p>
<p>More and more parents I know really think the schools have gotten totally out of hand. They enforce petty stuff, and can’t deal with real problems. When kids gets “sexiled” they say it is on them to solve roommate problems. But an empty wine bottle? Zero tolerance. Part of ever increasing tuition dollars goes to the ever increasing administrative staffs at colleges. This has to stop.</p>
<p>kayf, I don’t mean to jump the gun, I only mean to forewarn because the sanctions in most cases are so beyond what any reasonable person would expect.</p>
<p>My D started at a zero tolerance school, and lived in fear that her roommate’s drinking habits, including leaving empties all over the room, would affect her. She also spent a lot of time helping very drunk hallmates pull themselves together so they would escape notice.</p>
<p>She transfered to a more tolerant school, where students were treated like grown ups and where, incidentally, out of control dangerous drinking was much rarer.</p>
<p>College students are old enough to vote and certainly have the time and means (social networking) to come together to influence these laws. As we see from this thread their are many people who agree with them and also vote. </p>
<p>Maybe its time to take a stand.</p>
<p>Iit was groups of people who came together for a cause that put some of these laws on the books.</p>
<p>I had no idea fake ID’s were a felony. wow.</p>