<p>“How do I feel about my classmates smoking pot 39 years ago on a school trip? It didn’t bother me when I learned about it at the time and it doesn’t bother me now. I didn’t do it and if they chose to take that risk, so be it.”</p>
<p>My classmates bringing, and drinking, tequila on our school theater trip in 1991 did bother me, then and now. I shouldn’t have had to put up with drunken antics in our shared hotel room, etc. when I was trying to prepare for our performance the next day. These were HS sophomores at an expensive private school. </p>
<p>I could have told the teachers, but I didn’t want to move from unpopularity to pariah status. Turning them in would probably also have forced the school to call their parents to take them home, which might have meant cancellation of the play and the rest of the cast missing our chance to perform. That’s what I mean about showing contempt for everyone involved.</p>
<p>I live in Williamson County, TN, the area in which the school in the article is located. I work for the city school system but am fairly familiar with the policies in both the city and county schools. We have something called AC and something called ALC. AC is an in-school suspension for students who have committed minor offenses (tardiness, homework not turned in on time, etc.). ALC is the Alternative Learning Center for students who have committed more serious offenses (drugs, weapons, vodka in water bottles, etc.) Very often, the students who are sent to ALC are given the opportunity to prove themselves and are able to return to their home schools much sooner than the punishment reported. The truth is, Brentwood High has a fairly serious drug problem. I know several people (family and children of friends) that attend the school and I hear a quite a bit from them. Being familiar with the problems there and with the school policies that have been in place for quite some time I, personally, do not feel this punishment is too harsh.</p>
<p>I’m sorry. You’re so, so right! I was recently talking with a family member about the problems at Brentwood and my fingers mistakenly typed that school instead of Ravenwood. Sorry about that!</p>
<p>I am guessing that MOWC’s post count is much higher because she doesn’t post in the Pol. forum. Posts in the parents cafe and pol. forum don’t count in the post count, as I believe you are aware. So, if a poster posts frequently in those forums, they may be spending equally as much, if not more time on CC, but their post count wouldnt reflect it. </p>
<p>As for the topic of this thread, I think a punishment should fit the crime. I’ve seen kids in our area sent to an alternative school for repeat behavioral offenses, ongoing conduct problems, etc. I am not sure they have been sent to a year at the alternative school for a first offense of marijuana use. It seems excessive to me. JMO</p>
<p>And I asked the question because of your off-topic questioning of purpleflurp which, by the way was an indirect implication that she was somehow doing something wrong. I thought that was very inappropriate and curious.</p>
<p>We in this country do ourselves a huge disservice when we make criminals of our children. These kids are doing what kids do at a young age. They make mistakes. Most children do stupid things and by putting them in the criminal system we have set them up for failure in their future life. A very dumb thing, I believe. Which of us out there has not done something equally as stupid and have not been caught? I’m shocked that many out there are so hard-line.</p>
<p>^^ Speaking of a lot of posts! A number of people who post on this forum have never broken a rule, never had alcohol before they were 21 (if at all) and don’t have kids who would ever do such things. Then there’s the rest of us…</p>
<p>Once again this thread has gone to the same place as most do when they concern any alcohol or drug related issue. I always am amused that somehow the parents who end up on CC are the parents of the high school and college student who never drinks or smokes pot. Maybe none of your kids do these things. But I have seen many parents expressed the exact same words when I know the fact is that their offspring are telling them one thing and they are doing another. Or maybe it is just my small city that has a more serious problem with teens using substances. I went to a talk by a woman who heads up a local non profit organization that focuses on substance abuse. She said that the use of alcohol and drugs in the high schools is high and the denial of parents in the middle and upper income levels is huge. Everyone wants to believe it is the problem of the poorer Latino population.
Off hand I can count at least 20 young people who I know of who have gone through battles with addictions. I am sure the number is much higher. These are the one’s whose families are willing to admit their child had a problem and tried to get them help. I can count many more whose kids are heading for the same place. Especially through alcohol use. I have two very close friends whose D’s have been in treatment for cocaine addiction. One of them was one of the loudest voices in her D did not even touch alcohol. The other was convinced her D had an eating disorder even sending her to a top eating disorder treatment center. I have another friend whose 18 yr old has been in recovery for 18 months. She said parents love to talk about her D. But none of them bother to realize that in all her D’s escapades she was not alone. All 3 of these girls were what teachers and other parents would have considered bright, great students from “good” families. Drug addicts and alcoholics come from all walks of life. They can even be smart, religious, quiet. They are not just found in the rowdy group of teens that everyone knows as the “party” crowd.
I would much rather see a punishment that involves some education for both parents and the students who are caught with drugs or alcohol. Not everyone who smokes or drinks is headed for a life of addiction but education is key.
I hope we are all so lucky to have our children grow up free from many of these challenges.</p>
<p>While I agree our districts alternative school would not be appropriate for everyone, I also agree if its not “good enough” for these kids, change might be needed. But what I was really reacting to was how many kids end up with extreme consequences, not because they are more deserving of them than the kids in the original post, but because they have so little environmental support. They may be “diagnosed” with things, but the same behaviors, demonstrated by more fortunate kids, get more acceptable diagnosis, or no diagnosis at all ( unless of course the diagnosis helps in some way). My favorite is “conduct disorder” for one kid, is “Bipolar disorder” for another.</p>
True, shrinkrap-- but that will lead us to an off topic discussion about the healthcare industry. Many insurance carriers do not cover (ie reimburse) for a diagnosis of “conduct disorder”. Thats pure discrimination, IMO. Its like saying they will cover diabetes but not cancer.</p>
<p>First, I am well aware (as I am sure we all are) that substance abuse (or any other
rule-breaking behavior) is not limited to the “poor latino population” (and where in the world did that reference come from any way?? I know I did not state anything like that!!!). I personally know a kid who currently holds a very, very prestigious fellowship in a university, who was routinely smoking pot. If he had been caught, my assumption is that he would have lost that fellowship and possibly suffered other life-altering consequences. Do I think that’s extreme? Yes, I do. I am not sure personally, that pot should be illegal any more that alcohol. But it IS and the laws are clear as are the consequences.</p>
<p>The article referenced in the OP includes a couple of points that I think are cogent to this discussion:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>
Note that the mom of one of the kids, as indicated in the above quote from the article, admits to smoking pot herself. Of course she thinks this punishment is extreme.</p></li>
<li><p>
</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Note the punishment is for placement in the ALC for UP TO one year. This can be modified and I imagine it would be if the students are doing what they should be doing…</p>
<p>This is not about me vs any other parent. It’s not about my kids being perfect (they are not!). My point is that it seems more and more that parents are jumping in to reduce consequences for their kids’ own bad decisions. I have seen it at every age and stage of my own kids’ development, and I think it’s a significant problem. Not saying I have not been tempted to do the same, though. It’s really, really difficult to see your kids go through this sort of thing. And I have seen my kids go through things that are similar, though not exactly the same. They come out stronger in the end, though, and that is my point.</p>
I think that means the kid admitted to smoking pot, not the mom. Hard to tell for sure. Wonder what the reporters were smoking when they wrote it :rolleyes:</p>
<p>“This is not about me vs any other parent. It’s not about my kids being perfect (they are not!).”</p>
<p>Thank you churchmusicmom. People who have had more than the average difficulty as a parent sometimes seem to want to accuse others of thinking that their children are perfect. I have never seen anyone make that claim, and you don’t have to make that claim or have “perfect” children in order to recognize the main aspects of being a decent parent. Although kids will sometimes struggle with good decisions even if consequences have been applied from a young age, most kids raised with consistently applied consequences learn over time to adjust their behavior.</p>
<p>I should have been clearer. The woman I heard speak made the comment that the parents in our town want to believe “that it is the poor latino population” who are the one’s involved in drug use.
In our city the police department has made the decision to not arrest pot smokers. We have a huge number of pot dispensaries per population due to medical marijuana laws. I drive by several on my way to pick up my D at school. I do think that the use of medical pot in our town is being misused.</p>
<p>I still don’t understand why this punishment is too severe. Nobody was arrested. They continue their education. Is it because it limits their choice of college? I’d sure be a lot more worried about my kid’s character than what sort of college they might or might not be able to attend someday.</p>
A number of people who post on this forum have never broken a rule, never had alcohol before they were 21 (if at all) and don’t have kids who would ever do such things. Then there’s the rest of us…</p>