<p>My vote is for nagging so they go elsewhere the next summer 
Worked for me! Rising Junior has a job at college and rising senior with out of town internship. Rising senior has not been home for the last 3 summers as worked at Philmont. Great place for college kids during the summer!</p>
<p>I must be tough to live with…</p>
<p>Many times my sons have told me that they are not mind readers. They much prefer that I put my thoughts out there so that they know what they are.</p>
<p>My boys know that it is my pleasure to wait on them hand and foot sometimes, and that my goal is to make them happy. They also have internalized the goal of making mom happy, and they have learned that doing things for me makes me happy.</p>
<p>A cleaned up kitchen makes me happy. A vacuumed family room makes me happy. A full tank of gas makes me happy. A pizza hand delivered to my office when I have to work late during tax season makes me happy. They have learned this over the years.</p>
<p>Sometimes none of us are “on it” as much as we should be. So I have learned to say out loud what I would like done, and in what kind of time frame…it serves no purpose for me to suddenly freak that the vacuuming needs to be done immediately before my young adult son is “allowed” to go to the movie starting in 20 minutes. However, I am not averse to saying, “have fun at the movie and text me if you decide to go out late after…remember, tomorrow I am working so I have to get up early. By the way, while I am at work tomorrow could you please vacuum and clear the clutter in the family room?” </p>
<p>I will then generally come home to a clean family room. It may have gotten cleaned up earlier in the day, or just before I walked in the door…I don’t ask, I don’t care, I don’t micro manage.</p>