I think the Duggar parents really need to think about how they are raising their kids. The children are raised with the parents religious beliefs and values but they also need to be prepared to face the outside world. You can’t just shelter them from it all their life and expect them to transition smoothly to the outside world which is so different from the way they were raised.
I agree. That is absolutely a flaw in their philosophy. What if Jim Bob keeled over from a heart attack tomorrow? What happens to Jana and Jinger if they don’t marry? It’s so sad to see them with no goals and no plan for a life outside the Duggar compound.
I understand that to an extent - they have no idea what they are missing and living at home with their parents and caring for younger siblings is all they know. But Jim Bob will pass away at some point and they have no idea how to live on their own.
Yes, but the caveat here is, if they leave home for a lifestyle mommy and daddy don’t approve of, it is very likely they will cut off communication with them… disown them. That would be horribly traumatic for someone who has lived such a sheltered life and has no other resources. My bet is that these kids are not aware of those who have broken away from their families and the support they might be willing to offer (like Anna’s brother has offered for her).
But, unfortunately, there are serious consequences if these kids leave home in an ‘unapproved’ way. I’m sure they have to think long and hard about it before doing it.
Don’t think anyone answered this: Josh and Anna have two girls - the oldest is 5 or 6, the youngest just about a month. Two boys inbetween.
Think about all the hopes and dreams you have for your kids - to make their own choices, seek an education with others (outside of the family) who also love learning, to explore the world - on their own, to savor freedom, friends and to enjoy family during the times you are able to get together. To think that most of those components cannot even realized for these families - just wow.
I watched the show plenty. But somehow, as the kids turn into young adults, the habits and rituals take on new meaning that is sad if not disturbing.
I think they have hopes and dreams for their children - just different from ours. Josh and Anna appear to be devoted and loving parents - at least on camera. I wonder if life would have turned out differently had the scandals not occurred and they remained in the DC area - away from the Duggar influence. Back in Arkansas - little hope of breaking free.
Because when all the kids were children, it was charming. Most of us – probably all of us – provided our children with the religious education we thought best for them, most likely our own religion or lack thereof. But now that the kids are adults, it feels creepy that they’re not becoming their own people, branching out on their own.
I, too, have wondered if Josh has some sociopathic tendencies, or if he’s just a mess from how he was raised.
I remember the scene from Josh’s wedding episode, where JB sat down with him and some sort of sex book (can’t remember what it was exactly) immediately before the wedding. Even back then, before all this came out, that scene seemed strained and awkward. No duh, Josh knew more about that stuff than they thought would ever come out.
And that is my problem with all this. His parents went out of their way to cover up some deep problems.
It breaks my heart because I enjoyed their show.
Abasket we’re really applying our standards to them, the desire for our kids to have choices, etc. That’s not the system for all, even on our side of the fence, where family pressures can impact, say, the religion of your partner, where educated families still have issues with gay kids -or yes, they put pressure on their kids to aim for top colleges.
Josh did not grow up in an atmosphere of deprivation. Somewhat cloistered, yes. Deprived, no. Rigid structure, threat of the equivalent of excommunication, yes. Open attitudes about sex other than for potential procreation, no.
We don’t know what got him started, but it just isn’t only found in cult-like atmospheres, who make certain topics off limits. Lots of non-cultists get caught, all SES, various religions and political perspectives.
^^^The difference - when these people are not kids any longer - when they are adults, they do not gain true autonomy.
I disagree about “deprivation”. Deprivation does not only = things. Of course, that’s all open to opinion. In my opinion, yes, they are deprived.
I was thinking the opposite - at least about the living in DC part. I think the lifestyle of a well paid DC lobbyist helped him travel this “road to hell” so to speak. Think about it, he went from running a used car business in the small town very rural part of country he was raised in, to living the life of a lobbyist in a major city, going to lavish receptions, hanging out and being photographed with celebrity politicians (Huckabee, Santorum) and major sports figures (Tebow, etc). In addition, having the national media (not just 19 Kids and Counting camera folks) asking for quotes on political issues and “going on tour” with the rest of the FRC folks adds up to a pretty seductive (pun intended) lifestyle and one, given his previous unresolved issues, I think he found impossible to resist. And he had a lot of company in DC - how many politicians have gotten caught with their hands in the cookie jar?
I’m not in any way defending him - I just think once he saw the lifestyle he could be a part of in DC, he made the choice to embrace it rather than reject it.
Interesting - I had not considered that. He had more opportunities to cheat working for the Family Research Council than he did in small town rural Arkansas. (Oh the irony!)
Maybe Jana will move in with Anna to help her wirh the kids, at least until the new baby is completely “blanket trained”.
I’m not so sure Anna has the blanket training thing down, those kids seem like a handful!! She doesn’t seem to demand the absolute obedience that Michelle does (especially of the early ones).
I was just remembering an episode where little Josie was in the hospital, and they took the girls and the young kids with them to stay in the city by the hospital, and the older boys stayed at home. At one point the older girls (Jessa and Jill? Maybe Jana?) were going back home to collect some things, and Michelle and Jim Bob insisted that they go stay with Josh and Anna, rather than stay at home for the night. The girls looked like they had swallowed lemons but didn’t say a word. Does anyone else remember that? I can only imagine how much they did NOT want to spend the night with Josh. I remember it hit me wrong at the time (their expressions, and the fact that the other boys could stay at home for months, but they couldn’t stay in their own home overnight).
On the question of the older kids “breaking free”, don’t the kids have some of their own money? I don’t know how reality shows work in this respect, but since the kids were “cast members” of the show, aren’t they entitled to their own salary… a portion of which, by law, has to be set aside for the child until the child turns 18?
If so, some of these kids could leave home and go to college or do something else. If they could break free emotionally, that is.
@FilmerMom - that’s my question. Do children in reality shows receive any of the same protections that child actors do?
I’d be willing to bet that JB holds most of, if not all the purse strings, to be doled out as he sees fit.
Good question about the older children and $$$.
Well money = freedom to some extent, so my guess is that there is some sort of family trust set up. Sure Michelle and JB control that trust. Would be interesting to know how all that money is allocated since so many of the children are now of legal age.
If the kids are compensated as “child actors”, JB can’t control money that the children earn as performers, at least not all of it. A certain portion has to go into a Jackie Coogan account (named after a child actor whose parents used up the millions he had earned as a young actor, leaving him with nothing).
That isn’t to say that when the kids turn 18, they aren’t forced to donate the money back to “the family”.