<p>^ Thanks. I think I should not blindly believe what I read on the Internet.</p>
<p>Re: “She told me her husband made her returned $5000 she borrowed to buy her armoire.”</p>
<p>I am confused. Whose bank account should the $5000 come from, in order to return the money? Did the husband and the wife have separate bank accounts (instead of a joint account?) To whom did she (the wife) return the money?</p>
<p>My neighbor went shopping with me and I can’t remember the specific. She was not working so had no savings on her own, she either put on a credit card to be paid later by the parents money or she put it on hold and was going to get it later. She called her mom and her mom agreed to let her have it but after talking to her husband he turned it down. He said it made it looked like he couldn’t support his wife, so he ended up paying for it.</p>
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This could very well explain it. Thanks.</p>
<p>OP, I’m glad the wedding went well. I’m impressed that you asked the obnoxious guest to be quiet or leave. Good for you. Mazel Tov to you and the young couple.</p>
<p>Hopefully it was someone you’ll never have to cross paths with again. I was at an event out of town this weekend and my friend’s mother said some terribly racist things in front of a group of us. No one said a word. I was horrified. Actually her daughter (my friend) made a subtle comment but her mom just justified her awful remark, and the issue was dropped. Very uncomfortable for everyone.</p>
<p>The inappropriate comments and behavior usually occur after everyone has had a few cocktails. A few years back we hosted a couple who were friends of a family member and were visiting from abroad. They joined our whole family for Thanksgiving. After a few drinks the husband was cursing and just getting argumentative. My children and all the cousins were present so H and I were quite annoyed. H decided it was best not to confront him so he spoke to the wife and asked her to communicate to her husband that his behavior was unacceptable to us. Seemed to do the trick.</p>
<p>@bevhills - how did you keep one of the parents away? And what did the date do of the guy you tore into?</p>
<p>Sounds like buying an admission ticket to an event. Here’s a concept - entertain within your means. </p>
<p>I’ve been to four weddings in the past couple of months, which is out of the ordinary for me, actually.</p>
<p>The absolute most fun wedding was financed completely by the young couple. They used their parents barn, but their friends showed up and helped with the pig roast, and everyone just chipped in. The music was a friends band and everyone danced all night. The bride made her dress, which was an amazing dress and all the flowers were fresh picked and the friends helped put them in the vases. The bridesmaids (my daughter was one) were told to just wear a sundress and not to buy a new one if they liked one they already had. The boys all just wore suits they owned.</p>
<p>They had a couple of kegs and a bunch of soft drinks and man did everyone have a great time! </p>
<p>The expenses for the weddings were all over the map, but all of them were great events.</p>
<p>I don’t think you have to break the bank if you get creative.</p>
<p>In some ways, that one was the most fun because it didn’t have so much pressure around it. It just felt like a really great party.</p>
<p>I think there is LESS pressure on weddings to be fancy formal affairs. In my day, a wedding like what you describe just wasn’t done. You had to have the ballroom, the sit down dinner, the open bar, the bevy of bridesmaids. Nowadays there’s a lot more freedom to be creative, low key and less formal which can also be less expensive. </p>
<p>Pizzagirl, okay you are a little younger, but I went to plenty of casual weddings. My best friend hand embroidered a pair of shirts and got married in the university chapel and had the reception in their backyard. Caltech house mates got married in the redwoods - the bridesmaid’s wore the same Laura Ashley fabric, but made dresses (one of the bridesmaid’s could sew) that suited their body types. Nice sundresses you could easily wear again. </p>
<p>It’s only recently that I’ve gone to weddings that seemed completely over the top in what was expected. Goody bags for breakfast, brunch for out of town guests etc.</p>
<p>The photographer for the event was a photojournalist friend who did the pictures for free and as a gift to the couple. They are such cool pictures. The guys cooking, everyone in their suits setting up the band equipment, people cutting flowers to put in the vases, which were all different and borrowed or old. </p>
<p>You’d buy those pictures as art</p>
<p>My wedding 33 years ago was a casual event. About 35 people, held at a close friend’s house. No big hoopla. We were laying for this ourselves (no one offered to help us pay on either side of the family). It was lots of fun!!</p>
<p>I just know that when my girlfriends and I got married, some of us were “being married off by our parents” - who could afford the sit-down filet mignon for 200 at the Ritz, etc. - and those who weren’t, felt a lot of internal pressure to still do something that approximated that kind of thing - often spending money they didn’t have – when in hindsight, they should have just done a low-key casual brunch. I just remember the pressure being a lot higher back then compared to what I see today. A bridesmaid wearing her own outfit wasn’t “done.” A buffet just wasn’t “done,” it had to be sit-down. I think it’s great how trends have changed and there’s a lot more freedom!</p>
<p>My DH referred to our DS’s recent wedding as a “transfer of wealth.” We spent $$$ and the bride and groom got it back in the form of $$$ and gifts. :D</p>
<p>My wedding was 32 years ago and was in my mother’s living room. We had catering set up in the family room and drinks in the kitchen. Dancing everywhere. About 50 guests (this was a standard 60s split level, not a big house, so it was tight, but fun.)</p>
<p>Many weddings I went to in my generation were casual and/or quirky (such as one in front of the mammoth in the UMich nat sciences museum.) I don’t think that there’s anything new about smaller or less formal weddings.</p>
<p>Showers, when they occurred, were in someone’s house. Rehearsal dinners were just that. Etc Etc. If anything, the weddings I read about here are fancier than almost all of the ones I’ve been to. Which is fine. I don’t mean that as a knock at all–I like hearing about all kinds.</p>
<p>But the idea of what is or what was “expected” is much more of a moving target and always has been.</p>
<p>Thought I’d post a comment about the term “rehearsal dinner.” It is not customary for Jews to have a “rehearsal dinner,” The reason is because they really don’t “rehearse” for the wedding. In a typical Jewish wedding, the actual ceremony is held beneath a “chuppah,” or wedding canopy. The bridal party walks down the aisle and typically the bride, groom, and parents gather with the Rabbi or other officiant under the wedding canopy. This is supposed to be a very special time which occurs only once, which is why there is no “rehearsal” before the actual wedding. Thus, no “rehearsal dinner.” We gave a dinner the day before the wedding for all of the out-of-town guests since over 80% of the guests were not from the area where the wedding was held. Although various people kept trying to refer to it as a “rehearsal” dinner, I kept referring to it as our “out-of-town guest” dinner. ;)</p>
<p>Hmmm… well someone shoulda told our rabbi 30 yrs ago as we had a rehearsal… and a rehearsal dinner…</p>
<p>Perhaps this is a difference between Reform Judaism and Conservative and Orthodox Judaism? </p>
<p>Oh I am sure of that!</p>