<p>On our side, family would be very small- our closest relatives are the much older folks on DH’s side, who likely wouldn’t travel. (We go to them.) We’re close enough to our generation and their kids, via family reunions, holiday cards and a few on FB, but they’ve long since broken the “invite every relative” thing. DH and my mother had no sibs, my brother is across the country. But my kids have scores of friends. I’m still pulling for a destination wedding, then a local party, later. </p>
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<p>My son was married this past June on the opposite coast from us. We had the rehearsal dinner at a Chinese restaurant at his request. We had 12 courses of his favorite dishes…honey walnut prawns, Peking duck,ginger and scallion lobsters, sweet and sour pork etc. Way too much food. I took all the leftovers (a crateful) to the hotel staff where we were staying since practically all of the 66 guests were from out of town and the bride’s family only took a few boxes.</p>
<p>I just looked at D’s wedding guest list from last year. 21 invited from our side, including a close family friend (more like another brother to H and uncle to D). SIL’s side had 38 invited–his father has a big family. Apparently his mother was a little put off that she didn’t get as many invited of that group (her side is small) because she wanted to include her friends (SIL’s parents aren’t divorced but might as well be). No friends of parents were invited. It was either close family or D and SIL’s friends (mostly D’s).</p>
<p>We had to be ruthless to keep the numbers down, so it was definitely a case of no one invited who didn’t know D and/or SIL. So I included one cousin and spouse of mine who the kids really like, and no others.</p>
<p>It makes sense that guests “know” the kids getting married. We were not invited to a wedding last month of some good friends and my H asked me why when he saw the pics on Facebook. I told him I was sure it is because we don’t know their kids at all and the wedding wasn’t that huge to begin with. These friends married quite young, right out of college had children over a decade before us so we didn’t do “mom/dad/kid” things together like we did with other friends who had kids the same age as ours. BTW, interesting fact this wedding (that we didn’t go to) and another one we did go to this summer were both put on by the MOGs. Both guys were marrying girls whose families were not well off financially. So again, another example where “who pays” may not follow any Emily Post plan. </p>
<p>Ok…if I have to pay for my son’s wedding, it will be no larger than Garland’s daughter’s wedding.</p>
<p>One wedding to pay for is enough. :)</p>
<p>i’m waiting to hear back from Ellebud. Details, please.</p>
<p>Forgive me for asking such a stupid question…why is ellebud now bevhills? I’m sure it’s been discussed before. I don’t always see what’s written…sometimes I skim the paragraphs quickly, so I’m sure I missed the whole explanation. Anyway, ellebud/bevhills: hope the wedding went off without a hitch except for a few indivduals you had to deal with :(</p>
<p>We paid for my son’s wedding. His fiance was from another country and it was simply not an option for them to pay for anything. If they were going to have a reception more elaborate than cake and punch in the backyard, it meant that we’d be funding it. They had just completed school (undergrad for her - she put herself through entirely on her own without any debt! He just finished his Masters via a grad assistantship so no debt for him either) and so didn’t have much money between them. </p>
<p>We were happy to pay and gave them the same amount that we have his sister who married the following year. We gave both X amount and said that if they spent more, it would come out of their pockets. If they spent less, they could keep whatever was left. Both came in under budget. I have smart kids. 
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<p>CCcookie - I have wondered the same thing. You aren’t the only one. </p>
<p>She was Ellebud for 10 years or so. when CC changed format, she couldn’t get on, so chose a different “name”.</p>
<p>She had the screenname Bevhills long before the January format change…and was posting as Bevhills in December…and before.</p>
<p>Why? I preferred Ellebud. But one of my kid’s friends signed me out of Ellebud and signed in as BevHills…and an extra stuff. I tried to get back in as Ellebud…but the name was taken by me. So, after an hour or two of pure frustration I settled for BevHills. </p>
<p>I don’t “like” this name, but my ADHD kicked in and I chose the path of least resistance.</p>
<p>Have you gotten any feedback from the guests at the wedding, Ellebud? We’d love to hear more about the highs and lows of the event as well as any lessons learned!</p>
<p>Yes, we want some play by play, if you don’t mind. :)</p>
<p>Yes, we have had a lot of calls and notes and emails. Both “sides” have heard from friends and family have weighed in as it was a really nice rwedding. It did go by SO fast. </p>
<p>The venue: we rented a restaurant here. The food is really good and it is beautiful. The staff is AMAZING! Have an empty glass? Filled. Have a toothpick? Gone. Dancing too muh? Three waiters were holding glasses of ice water. Food excellent. Since this is not a kosher the “other side” brought in kosher meals. We ordered fish and vegetarian options. DIL didn’t want meat and milk mixing. And no seafood or pork. And we had to go low carb because this is, after all Los Angeles.</p>
<p>Ok…the next thing…if you live here you will know immediately where we were: at the end of the evening musicians come out and make a chariot (Italian restaurant) and escort the couple to the hotel across the street. All the traffic light all turn red and the whole party escorts the bride and groom back the hotel. It was so fun!!! The people in the hotel, employees and guests, were applauding and singing.</p>
<p>That is sooo coool, bevhills!</p>
<p>Glad the wedding went so well.</p>
<p>I totally know where you were!!! I love that restaurant so much!!! Most romantic restaurant in Los Angeles – definitely the most beautiful outdoor courtyard. Went to a wedding there! </p>
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<p>Weddings don’t have to be expensive. When we got married (in the 90’s), my husband and I were in our 30’s and paying for our own wedding (although nobody but our immediate families were aware of that). My parents were old-fashioned and wanted to pay, but they didn’t have a lot of money because my dad lost his sight (which cost him his job and, eventually, our home) when I was young and it took many years for them to rebuild financially. (They were nearing 60 when they bought their 2nd home and in their early 70’s when I got married). So we let them pay for the license and minister, because that’s all we really needed to be married. Then we had a sit down dinner for 100 at a local hall with food catered by a restaurant owned by friends of my husband. I’m not sure what the cost would be now, but we paid less than $3,000. Budgets in our circle varied widely though. A friend who married the same year had 125 guests and paid $40K. Neither was as exciting as the Ellebud wedding though. :)</p>
<p>^^ Sit down dinner receptions are expensive because few people can use a restaurant ‘owned by friends of my husband.’<br>
-Says the parent who recently paid for two sit-down dinner receptions. :)</p>
<p>In our part of the country, cake and punch receptions are just not done. That said, of course there are ways to minimize costs. For several reasons, we did not serve alcohol and this certainly did reduce costs. </p>
<p>BevHills - what an amazing ending for the couple - to be escorted by the musicians!!! That is certainly memorable!!!</p>