<p>Well, I got called back to several sororities for house tours. I am head over heels about one of the sororities, luke warm about others, and not too interested in the rest.
What advice can anyone give about letting the one place where I really want to go, know my intent? Should I basically tell them that on house tours today? Give them tons of compliments, and in doing so add something like, you all are my first choice? Should I bring something, like cookies, or doughnuts, chocolates? Is is considered OK, to speak directly about my intentions? If I don’t get into this sorority, I’ll survive, but it would be a really nice part of my UVA experience if my wish came true.
For the ones that I’m not too interested in should I be polite, complimentary and grateful for the call back, but honest that my heart lies elsewhere? I don’t want to go into the next phase with some of these sororities.</p>
<p>At this phase, it is perfectly normal to feel more connected to some houses than others. Congrats that you have one that you like so much. Chances are, they feel the same about you. IMHO, I would let them know by the way you act–your enthusiasm, positive attitude, etc. Greet your hostess with a “It’s so good to be back here again”. Compliment the house as you see it–they’ll get the idea, believe me. And that gets the point across without going overboard. I would say absolutely NO food! And I wouldn’t be direct about intentions either. This is a mutual selection, and “karma” needs to be natural and positive both directions–not forced. As for the other houses, certainly be polite and grateful to be there. Remember, it is not too unusual for girls to end up somewhere other than where their heart wanted. If that happens, six months down the road you won’t know what the fuss was about. You will love where you ended up…
Be polite, courteous, and gracious to all. Your feelings could even change thru this part of the process.
Good luck, Powderpuff!</p>
<p>Good luck! let us know how it works out.</p>
<p>Do not bring anything to the houses. They probably couldn’t accept it anyway.</p>
<p>Let them know that it is great to be back, but don’t go overboard.</p>
<p>As far as the ones that you are lukewarm go back and try to meet new people and ask questions. Also, look at the other girls going through recruitment. These are the girls that would be in your pledege class.
My D was put off by one house during an early round because of the “message” that was their theme. Which was probably directed by nationals. </p>
<p>Don’t drop any houses at this point and keep an open mind.
Good luck.</p>
<p>Maximize your chances. If your total number of invitations are less than the total number of parties, GO TO THEM ALL!!! I can’t stress this enough. </p>
<p>Do not talk up one house to another house. Even more importantly, do not talk bad about any house to another. You are a guest in their homes. As a courteous guest, do not show your ambivalence toward the sisters of the houses of which you are unenthused. The Panhel system is a close network and actives usually have friends in multiple houses beyond their own.</p>
<p>Definitely no bribes I mean gifts. Your Rho Gammas are a great source of neutral info.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice. Though, I would never bring a gift as any type of bribe. I was raised in the south and when one visits someone’s home, it’s polite to bring a gift (that’s probably true in the north too). I knew that in the sorority rush setting, gift giving could be looked at in a tricky way, so I did not bring anything to the house tours except a smile, enthusiasm, and stamina. I’m exhausted and my feet are killing me. We learn tonight at 12MN about which sororities we’ve been invited to pref. night. I’m excited but a little bit terrified. I hope I get my dream sorority. I have several options, but this week has been long and hard. I hope it pays off. Good night.</p>
<p>The Greek system is one of the worst things about UVA. It unnecessary hurts girls, reinforces class status and racial discrimination, is generally superficial, requires people to pay essentially for a label, and preys on the insecurity of first years. I spent a year in a house, and bonded and made many friends in the house–but I certainly could have done that in any of the many organizations that are open to ALL who want to work hard and be part of them and don’t judge them on five-minute conversations, appearances, and the clothes they wear. I was horrified when I realized I was expected to list off negative things about girls who I hardly knew, and any of whom could have been GREAT friends. I know that there are some legitimate complaints–if people are snotty, aloof, or blatantly mean, but just because someone is from SW Virginia and hasn’t traveled around the world doesn’t mean that they are “Banal” or “Boring”–they just aren’t in the higher economic class. First-years: I know you feel pressured to do this right now (especially if your parents or friends are doing it) but trust me–YOU DON’T NEED IT. Please, the system is unethical, unnecessary, and hurtful.</p>
<p>realgirl, it’s gonna be OK. You won’t change the Greek life at UVA, so don’t sweat it so much. You do have the option of walking away. It’s OK.</p>
<p>“I was horrified when I realized I was expected to list off negative things about girls who I hardly knew”</p>
<p>honestly, i dont like the sorority system myself.</p>
<p>but the fraternity system is not as bad.</p>
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<p>Can you tell us how the frats do it?</p>
<p>Realgirl, I s’pose I can hazard several guesses at what house you were in, but not all houses are like this. =)</p>
<p>It’s bid day! Congrats to all the girls who received bids, and those who didn’t – please don’t think ‘what’s wrong with me’. Nothing is, you’re an amazing person whom the formal recruitment system didn’t work out for.</p>
<p>Welcome to CC, realgirl…</p>
<p>Resisting the temptation to speak badly of others, whether it be in a sorority, a job interview, a college admissions interview–is a habit that one should learn early in life–and probably from family or support system.</p>
<p>It is not an organization’s problem–it is the problem of the person you speak with, and of you if you succumb. I hope I know better than to degrade, and I believe I have taught my two daughters (both “sorority girls”) to do the same. And I am pretty sure what their response would be to anyone who tried to entice them…</p>
<p>Please–give these smart, well-rounded, UVa admits some common sense credit, huh? Yes, there is silliness all around us. But sororities certainly don’t breed it. Upbringings do.</p>
<p>Congrats to all of you that completed this past week. I remember trying to pacify a friend of my daughter several years ago after she got her third choice house at the end of Rush. Now, she is a traveling advisor for her sorority, had an amazing college experience in large part because of her house, and wouldn’t have changed a thing. Such is life.</p>
<p>Motherdear, I know that you are knowledgeable about Panhellenic. Aren’t bids given to just about everyone who attends all parties and doesn’t quit Rush part way through?</p>
<p>In my d’s sorority they are not allowed to say anything negative about a PNM.
There is a rush advisor/alum that is with them at all times and “audits” the process. (I don’t want say what house she is in, but it is one that has been written about on here–with some sweeping generalizations and untruths about the house and the process.)</p>
<p>I also have friends who are recruitment advisors for their sororites and they confirm this.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the kind words!! Yes, it is bid day!! Today I learned that I got my first choice bid!! I’m thrilled/honored/excited! It was a long week, but it really was fun. Yes, I was very cold on many occasions, but it all worked out in the end. I don’t want to post which sorority I got invited to, but it is one that has been discussed in previous threads/posts here on CC.
I do hope that Caseyatbat is correct about bids being given to just about everyone who attends all parties and doesn’t quit during rush, because it would be really sad to go through all this and have no bid.</p>
<p>Congrats powderpuff!!!</p>
<p>Nice!</p>
<p>It looks like its worked out for you, no matter what anyone else says -congratulations.</p>
<p>Thanks for the congrats, and also thanks for all the advice that you all have been so kind to post here on CC. I read most of these postings and it was the advice that said “relax” “have fun” that helped me the most. Though, I did take the descriptions of the cold weather and round robbins to heart, and was nicely dressed and prepared for the January chill in CVL.</p>
<p>I am so happy that you got your first choice and have a new home to call your own! Now the real fun begins.</p>
<p>I wonder if we are sisters? :)</p>
<p>Congrats! They are lucky to have you!</p>
<p>A small question though. You mentioned being very cold. Last summer when this came up there was mention of not wearing a coat (I forget the reason, something about running from house to house maybe?) but yesterday someone was talking about the long lines he saw. So now that you have been through it, do you or do you not wear a coat</p>
<p>Thanks vistany,
For round robbins, I think that one must wear a coat, gloves, scarf. For me it was not optional. I wore nice boots too. I forget the exact temperature, but it was in the mid-30’s F. The girls spend a lot of time outside for round robbins waiting with their assigned groups to enter each sorority house (15 of them total over 2 days), and you don’t stay too long in each house, so then it’s out into the cold again. We had signicant snow and then sleet here this past week too, that added to the drama of having to dress up nicely with heels just to trudge through slush.
I do remember reading something about someone who abandoned their coat (maybe it was melli?) but it might have been to the themes or house tours, not sure. Maybe I’m just too much of a wimp, but with the weather we had last week, I don’t think it would have been survivable to go without a good coat. But then again, brief Indian summers come through CVL all the time, so one year may be very different from the next.</p>