<p>I have a list of things that are different now that only son has left for college, here are some and maybe other parents would like to contribute, especially with Thanksgiving and a return to the nest approaching:</p>
<p>Notice how clean the hall bathroom and the rest of the house are? No discarded clothing in odd places…</p>
<p>No discovering 4 dirty bowls with spoons on the computer desk just after you empty the dishwasher…</p>
<p>No evenings and weekends devoted to HS activities…or paying attention to 1/2 days or days off for the local schools</p>
<p>Instead of spending ten minutes taking/ picking up kid each day we spend 5 hours round trip to/from his dorm, twice, on the weekend he chooses to come home…</p>
<p>No help with lawn mowing, leaf raking or moving the outdoor furniture in…</p>
<p>Buying milk when it nearly runs out instead of trying to keep a gallon extra in the refrigerator…and when shopping, learning to ignore all those mass quantities of everything else that used to disappear.</p>
<p>The hot water supply seems endless…the lights are not on after we go to bed…</p>
<p>No waiting up late at night for him to come home…</p>
<p>No disagreements/arguments with him…</p>
<p>And, finally (for now), meals and mealtimes for two old married folks are so much simpler… Yes, I miss him, but that’s covered in a different thread.</p>
<p>Clean house? well, cleaner, but I still have dh, and that’s where the boys got their messy gene, I’m afraid…</p>
<p>I spend less at the grocery story, and we eat more vegetarian meals now. No groans when I serve zucchini…</p>
<p>No trumpet music in the house… That’s a negative, in case you wondered. I LIKE to hear him play.</p>
<p>We don’t have to be quiet in the hall in the morning to keep from waking anyone. </p>
<p>A much quieter house. No videos games (older son) or TV (younger son) sounds in the evening, unless I turn it on. (Dh works evenings.) Actually TOO quiet at times…</p>
<p>wis75,
Yes. I would agree with ALL above. I feel like we have raised him and he is in a good place. I still tell him when we speak to keep his grades high - I know he is tired of this but he gets it - so I should shut up! We have cleaned up his room - all stuff in bins instead of all over his floor. We are moving to downsize a bit - have three kids in college/grad school so cannot go too small - but had to get that room of his together. He will have to throw out stuff over Thanksgiving. Nice purging process for us. True about the waiting up but that comes back when they come home for hoildays, etc. We miss the activities - that is all we did with all three children! But fun visiting them at school and watching their activities there. H and I are having fun - eating out, movies, golf - ugh! - I am trying. We see are children alot. All in all, having a great time and still feel young!</p>
<p>Going out, sometimes at the last minute, without having to check kids’ schedules. Dinner, movies, sporting events, shopping TOGETHER (he’s trying…). When kids call on a weekend (day or night) and we’re not home, they panic: “You never go anywhere”. Well, now we do!</p>
<p>Going great so far as well. We only have one child so this whole process seems to have arrived rather quickly. All of the previous posts have pretty much summed up our house and routines now as well. I guess the only glitch was when he flew home for Fall Break–we were delighted to have him home. It was more of a catchup of rest for him. Our routines did not change a lot, other than cooking full, healthy meals. BUT, putting him back on the plane to head back to school was heart-wrenching!!! Especially since you can no longer wait at the gate. This was worse than dropping him off in August–I guess we were just tired from orientation to really believe he was gone. But overall, we are holding up and enjoying meals out and a cleaner, neater house. We try not to think too far in advance and live in chunks of time according to when he will be home again!!!</p>
<p>H. has found it difficult as he now has no one else to blame for the messes. I now know for sure that it is H. who never puts his dishes in dishwasher, leaves the toilet seat up and the tp roll empty, and now the garbage can detail is his ;).</p>
<p>I am having more problem with the empty nest than H. is. His life really hasn’t changed–he works, plays golf, and mans the remote control. I miss the kid activities and the social time with other parents.</p>
<p>I miss her very much but have reclaimed substantial parts of my life for “me” and “us” (w/TheMom). Watching D is like watching an interesting movie where you keep your fingers crossed that she gets to the next point in the plot arc okay.</p>
<p>Well I’m a single parent, so things have gotten very quiet and the house seems quite big now that both kids are gone. Fortunately the dog barks frequently during the day, and makes various snuffling and huffing noises the rest of the time, so it keeps me from feeling too lonely late at night.</p>
<p>It’s good…but different. We have two daughters in college, one a sophomore and one a junior. At first it was like hitting a brick wall after going 500 miles an hour! High school was a whirlwind of activity with piano lessons, softball, volleyball, musicals, band performances, football games, never ending fundraisers, forensics, college search and apps, etc. And then it all ended …very suddenly with two graduating two years in a row. (I dont recommend this .space children accordingly!!)</p>
<p>My H had an injury that pretty much took up a large part of the first year of empty nesting with surgery and physical therapy. So that was a rough first year. This year, we seem to be getting our bearings at this new stage of life and I think were getting better at it! Our volunteer work has increased. We bought season tickets for our local D-1 college basketball program. We are able to spend more time with nieces and nephews (and appreciate them more!). I feel like we have crossed a bridge called Acceptance of the Next Phase. Im still not sure I like it of course we miss them terribly (they are five hours away). But were getting out again. A few weeks ago we went to see Journey/Def Leppard and left voice mail messages for both kids while at the concert that went something like this: WHOOOO HOOOOO, GUESS WHERE WE ARE??? (With us singing lyrics really badly) LOL. It was ridiculous and silly but we laughed and laughed leaving messages. The girls were <em>greatly amused</em>.</p>
<p>It gets better - but it takes until about mid-second semester…the second year is MUCH easier but still somewhat mixed; by the third year it’s o.k.; by the fourth year it’s happy.</p>
<p>We miss our daughters. But it’s good they have flown the nest. Vists with them are very fun.</p>
<p>Mrs. P2N found all sorts of stinky sports clothing in D2’s (a runner) closet. Whew! That’s now cleaned out. Utility bills have dropped greatly - D1, a competitive swimmer, was known for endurance showering. I used to shut off the hot water at the 45 min mark - but she didn’t care (we have a tankless, on demand hw heater - it can be endless). She was used to cold water… ;)</p>
<p>Lower utility bills.No need to leave the porch light on after we go to sleep.Able to buy whole wheat type breads. Haven’t bought soda since Aug 18th.Didnt even realize there was no school in my district this past friday due to Veteran’s Day.Very strange not having a kid in some school in our district.Way less contact with local parents except a hi how are you in the supermarket.
Impromptu stops for dinner,movies.Also freaked S out when he couldnt reach us by phone or cell phone,same reaction…“you two never just go out”.
Many less rooms to clean.Hall bathroom has only been used once since he’s gone when Grandma visited.
That reminds me I’ll have to at least dust/vacuum/put on sheets for their Thanksgiving visits. And probably buy soda and non-wheat bread.</p>
<p>I feel like a bad mom because I actually <em>like</em> empty nest. Yeah, I miss my daughter terribly, and I can’t wait to see her for Thanksgiving, but I’m also enjoying the new freedom. Without that third schedule and all the mental juggling it required, I have more brain cells to devote to “me” stuff. Plus, I like the return of our life as a couple. </p>
<p>I think it would be much harder if my daughter weren’t so happy at college. If she hated it, I think our empty nest would be miserable.</p>
<p>sax, I’m with you. I thought I would get involved in all these new activities, get so many things accomplished around the house, find new and exciting interests…at first (last year) I did do some of the house stuff. But now I’ve fallen into a kind of lethargic mode…really boring. Maybe having been a stay at home mom for years and years makes it worse, don’t know?</p>
<p>yep…I’m in a funk too and need a good kick in the pants.</p>
<p>I’m still searching for an “after job”. At first it was after they are both in 1st grade, then after #1 graduates, then after #2 can drive, then it was after #2goes to college…now it’s after the holidays Very elusive category this after job.</p>
<p>I think that when kids leave home, it’s like retirement for a stay at home mom. It’s normal to feel a little bit at sea.</p>
<p>Fortunately (or unfortunately!) I’ll be seriously looking for a “real” job when S2 goes to college. I don’t think he’ll choose a less expensive option than his brother, so we are facing BIG BILLS!</p>
Very elusive category this after job.</p>