Engagement Ring/Wedding Ring???

Parent Cafe
121

Our engagement was pretty ordinary. I was a college soph. and DH was one year out of college. Not a lot of money to spend. We picked out a ring at the store and left it to be sized. The next weekend we met at a hotel in DH’s college town. He gave me the ring there in the hotel room. It was a quarter karat. I thought it was great.

I would have married him even if there was no ring.

It’s a good thing because eight years later, the stone fell out of my ring while shopping at the mall. Had my two S’s (ages 1 and 4) with me and never even noticed until I got home.

Insurance paid for a replacement. DH stayed at home w/ the kids and my Mom went ring shopping w/ me.

Then unbelievably 20 years later, I lost the stone from ring #2 somewhere on a huge parking lot where we were shopping for a boat.

I’ve given up on diamonds. I just wear a wide silver band now…no stones to lose!

I do have my mother’s engagement ring. I rarely wear it for fear that I’ll lose that one too!

122

Yes, because my knuckle is larger than the rest of my finger, I have two metal balls inside my engagement ring so it doesn’t spin around on my finger as much and is less apt to be damaged, according to our friend who is the jeweler who added the balls at no charge. I can’t get a smaller size because it wouldn’t get over my knuckle.

The jeweler has periodically had to re-round my ring when the kids were still in strollers and that side of the ring that pushed the stroller got flattened (amazing the jeweler). I guess 14 karat gold is no match for a stroller with one or two kids riding. :wink:

123

Fwiw, you can have a jeweler check the settings every few years. They can loosen or the prongs wear down.

124

Wow - thank you for the metal ball idea.

125

Our jeweler put 6 prongs on the engagement ring to help it be more secure. He adjusted them at least once in the decades that I’ve owned the ring, which I wear nearly daily.

126

Never heard of the little balls! Will have to take my ring in and see what they have to say.

127

Agree about having jeweler check setting periodically. The third ring has diamonds that are not channel set and they have worn away two of the six prongs of the engagement ring. (Third ring sits between wedding band and engagement ring b/c it is too large and I never had it resized.) I was concerned that the prongs would wear down to the point that the stone fell out, but the jeweler assured me it was safe. A different prong did require tightening. All this talk makes me realize a trip into NYC is overdue.

128

Google “ring sizing beads” and you’ll see a great number of photos for examples. They also help the engagement ring stay upright and prevent spinning.

129

Unbeknownst to me the prongs on my engagement ring were wearing out, and I popped out the large emerald cut sapphire in the parking lot at BJ’s one evening when my hand caught on the shopping cart. The sapphire is dark, the parking lot was blacktop, it was night, and it was raining! Luckily, I noticed it when it happened and was able to find it after searching for a minute or two. Took it to a jeweler and had the setting fixed.

130

I usually stop in the jewelry store about every six months to get my two rings inspected. They will usually tell me if any need replacing ASAP, or if they can wait a few weeks or until my next inspection. They do this service for free - well, they know they’re going to get my business if any work needs to be done.

131

I agree with others, with the engagement ring it should be about what they feel comfortable spending. I have to be honest, while I wanted to buy the best ring I could for my then girlfriend (now wife, approaching 27 years in june), I also would be a bit put off if she had been upset that we didn’t spend a fortune on it (among other things, at the time, definitely didn’t have a fortune, wasn’t making much). I later bought her a nicer ring she really cherishes (friends of mine own a jewelry store, guys are artists and I knew I wouldn’t get ripped off, plus they use Canadian diamonds), and that is always an option as finances improve.

The one word I have to say is be very careful, there are a lot of people who are legitimate and give fair value, but the industry is rife with those trying to rip off people. Even GIA certifications may not mean much, they end up coming down to ‘a matter of opinion’, people who bought a diamond, told it was x level of clarity and so forth, had it appraised later by other people, found it wasn’t what they claimed, sued, and lost…47th street in NYC is famous, but my wife worked for a wholesale Jeweler in that district (not in diamonds), and when she needed to replace the stone in the original ring, which disappeared, the people who owned the store had the manager go with her to certain places, he was a certified gemologist, because so many are quite honestly either charging you more than they should or are ripping you off with crap quality.

Mall stores and chains are generally honest, but you also are paying a big markup going through them, retail jewelry has markups that boggle the mind (for example, my wife worked for a gold jewelry wholesaler, that supplied to chains like Zales, and a bracelet with a unique design Zales was then promoting was running close to 400 retail, my wife could get it for 60 wholesale…so when they run those “40% off sales”, it still is huge markup:).

I also would after buying the diamond get it appraised by several appraisers, which may give you a more real idea of its value, primarily to be able to figure out what to insure it for. Some diamond sellers are honest enough, that when you get the ring appraised, it will be more than they charged you (my wife’s replacement that I bought her was 5500, it was appraised by 2 other appraisers at 7k), but in any event it is good to have that when getting it insured.

132

I thought of this thread last night. I was working at a fundraiser dinner at a country club. We had to make an announcement that several gold and diamond rings were found in the ladies room next to the sink. The owner had to come and describe them before we’d let her claim them.

One reason why I never take my rings off outside the house!

133

Update! Proposal complete AND accepted! :slight_smile:

S proposed Sunday morning to his GF/Fiance in an adorable staged event at the park where he asked her to go to prom with him 5 1/2 years ago. He insisted that her family and our family be there - hiding behind some trees/bushes so that once she said “yes” (we couldn’t see or hear them) - we could arrive on the scene to congratulate them.

He ended up at a local independent jeweler that he felt comfortable with and chose a custom setting of an emerald cut diamond on a silver band - the band has small diamonds all around it. He loved it (and she!) because while the band was not plain, the emerald diamond still stands out and takes the show. :slight_smile:

He discovered that finding a jeweler is kind of like finding a new church. You have to be comfortable with the people, the setting and what they have to offer. He went to independent shops, big box shops, etc. before settling on this one store where he felt trust and was thrilled that they could meet his budget while still creating a custom setting just as she dreamed of.

Woohoo!!!

134

Congratulations to your whole family, abasket! What a great, memorable location for a “staged event.” =D>

135

Congratulations, abasket. That’s very special.

136

Congrats. We can’t wait to hear more wedding planning details.

137

YAY!!! Congrats!! When is the wedding???

138

Congratulations! That is very exciting - and how sweet to include both families.

139

I hope you plan to have us help you with your dress :wink:

Seriously, congrats to your S and his fiancé

140

Wow!! Congratulations.