<p>There. I’m saying it. I hate to entertain. Not comfortable with it, not good at it.</p>
<p>We have a nice neighborhood, everyone is very kind. We have a golf game on Sundays and then the group goes to someone’s house for cookout. We go sometimes but now it is our turn to host. I feel like I’m reinventing the wheel lol!</p>
<p>So anyways, we had no patio furniture so I’ve been out buying that. Of course there is no patio furniture left in our small town so I had to drive an hour away but thankfully found some I liked. Only half of it fit in my car at once so I had to make 2 trips. But the upside is that now I have patio furniture and I really do like what I got.</p>
<p>I think I have a menu. Grilled chicken, greek salad and roasted potatoes. A texas sheet cake for dessert. I have to think of a few appetizers but it must be simple. </p>
<p>Now I have to make my house presentable for guests. It’s always clean but needs to be cleaner. And pick up all those piles of stuff and find someplace for it. Ugh! And the yard needs to be worked on! If I have to entertain, I usually try to do it in the winter. No yard to clean, less to do. Dimmer lighting makes the stains in the carpet and the dust I’ve missed less noticeable :)</p>
<p>Any one else a nervous wreck when they have to entertain? Do you also feel like you have to redecorate the house when you have people over?</p>
<p>Just buy a veggie tray and a few crackers with cheese and you’re there!
I run around with a big bag and collect all my “piles” and then put them in a back room for later return. Quick vacuum and spot dusting and I’m done. I figure with enough beer and wine and good conversation nobody is going to care about the details of housekeeping.
Keeping the menu really simple with easy clean-up so you aren’t in the kitchen is key to actually enjoying entertaining.</p>
<p>Your menu sounds great. I was going to suggest hummus and pita chips and an assortment from the “olive bar” (if you have one) for apps. If you get cheese, garnish it with a few clumps of grapes or figs (are they in season?). For me the biggest pain is getting the house ready (love to cook, hate to clean). </p>
<p>For a long time I had a hard time inviting people over if everything wasn’t “just so”. I finally realized that most people are just happy to be invited. I have 30+ coming for TGIF next week; it’s probably time to start thinking about that.</p>
<p>I get nervous too. I’m also shy and hard of hearing so I’m always wondering what I’m not hearing and how to make good conversation with people who aren’t family. But in this corner of the world, “family” is in-laws of in-laws, friends of in-laws of in-laws and their kids and so on. It’s actually lovely to have two dozen people who would drop what they’re doing to help you in a pinch because they consider you “family”. So I’m learning to loosen up.</p>
<p>It helps that my kids are plenty old enough to help get things ready-even the older ones who don’t live here come early to do that. And we all do potluck all the time so that helps with the prep. The biggest worry is if it’s going to rain-not uncommon in Seattle except this summer.</p>
<p>I don’t like entertaining either. ESPECIALLY don’t like having overnight guests - which is what I’m doing this weekend - ugh! </p>
<p>Most of the time I don’t have to worry about “entertaining” cause honestly, we just aren’t very social with friends/neighbors besides family. (we are not rude or unsocial, just not into the getting-together scene). </p>
<p>But even at family occasions I get stressed - and my family knows it!!! Part of that comes from my desire to “do things right” - so I don’t want to be running late, do want to have food everyone likes, do want my house looking neat and clean, do want to show off my yard! So I put a lot of pressure on myself.</p>
<p>I second the idea of the big bag to temporarily take care of the piles. I’m neat enough on a regular basis that we don’t have piles but I just don’t like anything too personal out when people are coming over. So any mail yet to open, school paperwork to be done, etc. gets temporarily thrown in a drawer. </p>
<p>Now my challenge to you Deb922 - now that you’ve bought that patio furniture, after the party YOU USE IT!!! Enjoy it, relax in it, savor it! Outside relaxing is good mental medicine. :)</p>
<p>I love to entertain. We have three “groups” with whom we exchange entertaining at each others’ houses. I used to hate it, but what changed for me was when I realized I didn’t need to use my mother’s fancy Damask table linens. Instead, I bought some cotton/poly tablecloths from BB&B that I just toss in the washer when we’re done. </p>
<p>When we redid our kitchen and added our deck and patio, it was for the express purpose of being able to entertain more often.</p>
<p>I like to entertain, but it wasn’t always the case. Do you still have kids at home? I didn’t really start to enjoy having people over until they left home. With them around, life is so unpredictable that my “control freak” nature couldn’t deal with kids and entertaining at the same time. Now that it’s just Dh and myself, it’s actually quite enjoyable.
Oh- another thing: You need to get a housekeeper twice a month or at least once a month in order to really enjoy having a dinner party. If that’s too expensive, you could do as my mom does and just hire someone “as needed,” but cleaning the house as well as prepping for company is exhausting. Don’t try to do it all- let someone else do the vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms before the party. It will make the whole endeavor much more fun.
I usually go for a simple meal, but plan fancier appetizers and desserts. Learn to make a delicious salad dressing (there are tons of recipes out there) and have a light salad as the second course after appetizers. I personally love salad, so I usually get creative with them. Then plan simple grilled fish or chicken, a vegetable, some yummy bread from your local bakery, and it’s really easy to throw the meal together. Your dessert can be homemade or not. We have superb bakeries in our area, so I use them. Sometimes just a high quality ice-cream with fresh raspberries or peaches (liqueur or not) is a perfect end to the meal, with fresh brewed coffee, of course.</p>
<p>If you focus on the meal, the table setting, the wines and the company, you’ll have fun and so will your guests. Just don’t sweat the cleaning- this is the time to hire it out.
if you buy a couple of inexpensive bouquets from Trader Joe’s or your market and plunk them in your main living areas if you don’t have garden blooms, it will make the house seem festive and fresh. NO need to redecorate! These are your friends. :)</p>
<p>We almost always serve buffet style for holiday meals when we have guests of all ages. It makes it easy for people to take just what they want–and come back for seconds!</p>
<p>And if you’re ever in California, you’re welcome .:)</p>
<p>I see I’m not alone. And there are people who love to entertain. I think once I get this over, it will be easier. Also like someone said people are just happy to be invited. They don’t care about your house. </p>
<p>I think I get all wrapped up in that my house isn’t perfect but that the only one who cares is me (oh and my mother and sister but I’ve long given up caring what they think). I keep thinking oh what isn’t right with the house. But I tend to forget that what we do like doing is getting out and being active. I’m not one to fuss over the house, I don’t like shopping for the house and picking out the perfect trinket. I don’t care to redecorate. I should concentrate on what I do like. And what my H and I want to do and not be what other people think I should do. (Like my mom!) </p>
<p>I like to cook and I haven’t poisoned anyone yet! </p>
<p>No kids at home still. Although the husband is as messy as the kids were. A bunch of these piles are his. And he thinks everything should be easy to find, on the floor where he left it. Sigh! I put things away and then he complains that I stuffed it somewhere and forgot where I put it. So he thinks you need to have a system and a place for everything. I get stymied and I get piles. </p>
<p>I plan on using that patio furniture. I’m excited. The nice thing about the kids being on their own is that we can spend money on what we want, instead of what the kids need.</p>
<p>Entertaining stresses me out, but H loves it so I have learned to deal. We do a lot of potlucks with friends who are as close as family and I have come to enjoy those (now that we are close enough that no one feels their house has to be spotless!). The worst thing for me, for some reason, is sending out invitations (even just an evite). I seem to have some phobia about asking people to come over and tend to put off sending them until it’s almost too late.</p>
<p>I don’t like to entertain or be entertained, lol. I wouldn’t say it rises to the level of social anxiety, it’s just something I don’t enjoy. I like to be with one or two friends at a time in a casual situation.</p>
<p>Now that our kids are gone we’d like to entertain more. But my work schedule is unpredictable, so it discourages me from planning. </p>
<p>For appetizer, consider shrimp. We usually buy the frozen box with serving ray and cocktail sauce. Hmmm… fancier folk probably transfer it to a nicer plate, but we don’t There are also some very nice frozen appetizer choices. </p>
<p>For guessts I sometimes have a bowl of “cuties” oranges on the breakfast bar in the kitchen, where we always congregate. Guests will reach for one before or after dinner when they want to much but avoid too much unhealthy food.</p>
<p>What is a “Texas” sheet cake? We have 1/4, 1/2 and whole sized sheet cakes in WI and FL.</p>
<p>You are entertaining FRIENDS. They care about you, not how perfect your house is or the food. Those less picky than you won’t notice or care, those who do- they live with it (those too picky not to won’t go to any of the parties). Relatives have all sorts of issues (as you well know). I have learned by this stage in life what matters most- what is good enough for me on a daily basis is good enough for company. Of course I plan my cleaning schedule around visitors- I’d wait the week so my sort of monthly now cleaning is just before entertaining or do a quick dirty bathroom/kitchen cleanup and not my thorough job. The “wisdom” of age. We keep it casual to match our lifestyle.</p>
<p>You all have something in common- your neighborhood and events before being at each others’ homes. Relax. You choose the foods you are comfortable with cooking. No need to worry about being fancier than the others. In our case we have Indian and nonIndian foods to give people a taste of something they won’t ordinarily get and I have developed my Indian cooking repertoire after decades of marriage. Our new neighbors have shown us their cultural treats. </p>
<p>One dessert hit- we brought it to a same afternoon invitation and repeated it for our Indian dinner- was apple crisp (with ice cream). Easy to make in large quantities. Had to pick an available variety of apples in July at our close by Florida grocery store! My Indian H and I didn’t care that it is definitely NOT Indian.</p>
<p>Furniture. Do enjoy it after the party. Consider that party the excuse to get it for yourselves- sometimes we need to be nudged to get the nice things to own.</p>
<p>A Texas sheet cake is a chocolate cake you bake in a jelly roll pan and chocolate frosting that you pour on the hot cake. Makes for a moist sugary cake that serves a lot. Not fancy but something I know most people around here like.</p>
Now that it’s just Dh and myself, it’s actually quite enjoyable.