Exeter vs SPS vs Current School

Prep School Admissions
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Hello everyone! I’m a current 9th grader from the DMV area, and I’m thrilled to have been accepted into both Exeter and SPS this year!

Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, I’m unable to visit either campus next week, which means I won’t have the chance to experience campus life firsthand before making my decision.

My extracurricular interests lie in public speaking, writing, and theater, rather than athletics or music. I’m also an African student and have been living in the U.S. for 9 years.

I’m seeking insights into the best and worst aspects of each school, particularly regarding the sense of community and the level of competition. Additionally, I’m curious about the alumni networks and the support they provide to students. I’d love to hear about the academic and extracurricular opportunities each school offers, and how far they go to support their students’ goals.

Another key factor in my decision is my current school. I attend a highly competitive public school with limited individual student guidance. I have several leadership opportunities lined up for next year, and leaving would mean giving these up and potentially repeating my current roles.

Moreover, the proximity to Washington D.C. and the current political climate offer unique shadowing and internship opportunities. I would be giving up these valuable experiences by leaving, and I’ll definitely miss my friends and family.

My academic interests lean towards the liberal arts, likely law or international relations, and I aspire to attend a top-tier college for further opportunities. I appreciate any guidance you can provide.

I’ve included some previous observations from threads on this platform below.

Thank you so much!

St. Paul’s School (SPS)

  • Full boarding
  • Rural, secluded location
  • Very small student body
  • Age-grouped dorms
  • Academically rigorous
  • Manageable workload (approximately 2.5 hours of homework)
  • Fewer course offerings
  • Strong sense of community (“feels more like home”)
  • Higher endowment per student
  • Located near a city
  • Historically prestigious
  • Intramural sports for those not on varsity teams
  • Rural setting conducive to walking and exploration
  • Possible to take more than 5 classes
  • Diverse dorm arrangements
  • Emphasis on well-rounded education
  • Robust student support system
  • Saturday morning classes
  • Less competitive environment
  • Beautiful library
  • Less competitive non-athletic extracurriculars
  • Post-graduate opportunities
  • 100% boarding
  • Wi-Fi curfew at midnight
  • No lights-out policy
  • Relatively conservative atmosphere
  • Limited arts funding

Phillips Exeter Academy (Exeter)

  • Focus on high-achieving students
  • Weaker sense of community
  • Perceived hypocrisy
  • Less compassionate environment
  • Heavy workload (up to 5 hours of homework)
  • Harkness teaching method
  • Opportunities for exploration
  • Inconsistent grading
  • Strong math program
  • Wider range of course offerings
  • More college-like atmosphere
  • High endowment
  • Urban setting
  • Located near a town
  • Long-established institution
  • PE requirement for non-athletes
  • Access to downtown amenities
  • Limited possibility of taking more than 5 classes
  • Same dorm throughout tenure
  • Nationally recognized
  • Impressive science building
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What’s that about?

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I was thinking that the school seems to emphasize collaboration and community yet still maintains an incredibly cut-throat demeanor. And also it seems that they encourage students to be well-rounded with strong mental health, but don’t do much to support it. I think competition is good to an extent, but it should be positive and the school should uplift students rather than de-lift.

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Congratulations on your acceptances! Just from reading your two lists of “stats” it looks like SPS is the clear winner for you.

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Very impressive young person! Don’t necessarily agree with everything on your lists, but I do think they aggregate to fairly correct overall impressions. Between SPS and Exeter, I think you’re a better fit for SPS. However, if your hometown option is a good one (which you imply it is), I would suggest staying at home. Being a top student from a competitive LPS is at least as good a path to an elite university as is a top boarding school. But, so long as you avoid big mistakes in your young life (drugs, alcohol, etc.) and continue working hard and contributing to society, you’ll go very far whichever high school you choose.

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I wouldn’t say Exeter has a weak sense of community at all.

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Congrats on your acceptances, such an exciting moment. My daughter is a 9th grader at St. Paul’s now, and while everyone’s experience is personal, I’ll share what guided her decision.

She was also accepted to Exeter but ultimately felt SPS was a better fit. When we visited, the St. Paul’s community just felt warmer and more personal. That’s not to say Exeter doesn’t have a great community, plenty of students thrive there, but we didn’t get the same sense of connection on that campus. Andover was the other school she was heavily considering, and that community also felt like a much better fit than Exeter.

She came from a strong public school in the suburbs of a big city, and my daughter was looking for an environment where everyone was academically engaged. Not cutthroat, but where it’s cool to care, and that’s exactly what she’s found at SPS. The school is small and fully boarding, so students really get to know each other and their teachers. There’s strong support, both academically and personally.

Hope that helps a bit as you weigh your options. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk more!

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My impression is that you are well ingrained in your current school. No need to change schools especially if you are unable to attend revisit days.

Personally, I love both SPS and Exeter. Both schools are very wealthy = lots of opportunities for students and both schools have great locations. Nevertheless, you seem happy and involved at your current school so I am a bit confused as to why you are considering boarding school.

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Thank you for pointing that out! I think I’m heavily leaning towards SPS.

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Thank you for your insight! I compiled and summarized comments from this website in posts through the last 10-15 years. I’m definitely considering my current school, and am stuck between that and SPS, since both are strong environments.

I’ve talked to family friends and some say to fully make the decision and attend SPS, while others are advising me to stay back. Within school, I haven’t been able to get a hold of my counselor nearly a month, so I’m alone there.

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I love both points you mentioned. The main decision is choosing between local opportunities and taking advantage of D.C., and opportunities that come as a result of stronger financial access.

I agree with your assessment. My main concern was whether I will be limiting myself if I choose to staying behind. I was in a much different place when I originally applied than I am currently, so I’m feeling a bit confused.

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Thank you so much! Warmth and strong community are very important for me as that’s the primary drawback of my current school. I’m trying to decide if I can standout as a self starter, or if I’d find push from a friendly environment more beneficial. I think your daughter and I have a lot in common, and I’ll be sure to reach out with questions!

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Great post !

We are also familiar with all three boarding schools (Andover, Exeter, & St. Paul’s) and developed a strong preference for SPS, but loved all three.

I cannot imagine a more difficult choice than the one which you are currently facing (great local school in a dynamic city, arguably the most famous boarding school in the world-Exeter, and one of the most caring, close-knit elite boarding schools in the country).

Regardless of your decision, you are likely to face buyer’s remorse type of regret. Too many outstanding options, but life is largely about the choices that one makes. Doesn’t seem like you have any wrong options; just three great options.

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Totally agree on the buyer’s remorse feeling—it’s a real thing. After choosing SPS, my daughter occasionally said things like “maybe I should’ve picked Andover,” but when I ask if she’d actually want to transfer, her answer is always a quick “no way—I love it here.”

I think it’s just natural to second-guess when you’ve had several great options. These are big decisions at a young age, and it’s hard not to wonder “what if?” now and then.

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