Extremely homesick

I’m currently a freshman with nine weeks left in the school year before summer break. I know nine weeks is, practically speaking, not a lot at all, but I dread every single day that I will spend here.

I’ve always been the homesick type, but the anxiety I’m experiencing right now is so much worse than at the beginning of the year, which I think is very strange. I do know the reasons for it though: I have a terrible relationship with my roommate, which makes me hate being in our room, which then leads to me being unable to sleep well at night. I understand this is a strange reason to lose sleep, but it’s a flaw I have that I’m overly aware of these things. I have tried previously to switch my living arrangements, but because of many reasons nothing ever changed.

I really try to spend time outside of the dorm, going out with friends or working extra hard on homework. But no matter what I do, I just feel so lost. I always want to go home every weekend, which is impractical because of the two-hour distance (I try to take the train home when I can, but I feel extremely guilty because my parents want to drive me back to school which totals a four-hour commute for them). It’s very tempting to go home because I have no classes on Friday, so I would spend a good three days at home, but I know I’ll just dread the day when I come back so I don’t know if it’s worth the emotional toll. It also doesn’t make sense because I know I should be spending time here, which wasn’t even a problem the first half of the year.

I just always feel like crying. I talk to my boyfriend about it, which helps some, but I feel bad because I know he hates seeing me like this. I call home a lot more often too, but just as with my boyfriend, I feel guilty for letting my parents know how unhappy I am here. Also, I can’t help but break down when I talk to them and I can’t help but think that that kind of reaction makes it tougher for them.

I know college is about growing up, but no matter what I’ve tried I just want to go home often and see my family. I hate saying this to my parents because they’re worried that I don’t have friends or a place at school. But all the time while I’m here I always feel on-edge. I’m afraid that if this continues, the negativity will carry over into the my future college years.

Anything you think I can do? Should I give in and go home often? Or what can I do here to make my life easier?

  1. Talk to your RA about the possibility of a room change.
  2. Seek some counseling services at the campus counseling center to get some of this off your chest and figure out how to survive the last nine weeks.
  3. Talk to your parents about how you feel. They may not be able to fix anything, but they do want to know what is going on in your life, good or bad. Their emotional support might also help you get through the next 9 weeks.
  4. Make sure you have a better roommate situation for next year.

Everything above is a good idea. I would try to compromise and come home a couple times before the end of the semester