<p>I don’t know if this is an inappropriate use of the forum; I apologize if it isn’t. I was a regular here under another name back in the very old days (2005-2007) and always appreciated the advice.</p>
<p>I did make it to college, graduated, and have had reasonable professional success since then, but suddenly it’s like my life’s in pieces and I don’t know how to salvage it. I’m alone in a city I’ve lived in before but have no family in, single for the first time in my adult life, can’t get a handle on employment, and sinking so deeply into anxiety and depression that I have trouble seeing a way out.</p>
<p>I have an Ivy League diploma and a résumé I’ve been told is impressive, but I can’t hold my thoughts steady long enough to compose a cover letter. I can’t write so glowingly about myself when I’m not feeling it. I’m afraid I won’t get interviews, and I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll embarrass myself, and I’m afraid that even if I don’t and get the job, I’ll perform badly in it.</p>
<p>I have a temp job through an agency that’s nominally in my field, but it’s only through the end of next week and I have nothing lined up after it. My last full-time position was through May 2014.</p>
<p>I feel like I’m throwing everything away and I can’t stop myself.</p>
<p>I’m sicker than I thought and I think I’m in real trouble. </p>
<p>I’ve taken steps to seek treatment but with waitlists and referrals (and finding the right medication, presumably) it may be weeks or months until I’m stabilized. Is there a way through this that won’t result in permanent professional derailment?</p>
<p>I am sorry that you are having a hard time – life as an adult can be very disconcerting and often depressing; it’s so much harder to do this on your own. Do you have someone to talk to? (and I don’t mean professional help, I mean family, friends, etc.) Resist the urge to hide your struggle as if you should be ashamed. We all struggle. Some of us are more open about it, but we all struggle. It is a brutal economy out there. </p>
<p>Don’t borrow trouble. It might be weeks or months, but it might be faster. And you can’t control much about the timeline, other than advocating for your own health needs. I don’t think it’s appropriate to make professional advancement a priority now ; you need to be well, period. If that means you are professionally sidelined, that’s okay. The answer to your question, though, is with appropriate treatment and support, there’s no reason to think this cannot turn out with you well, and employed. ((hug)) to you. Hang on.</p>
<p>If it makes any difference, I’m in D.C. and a quantitative-leaning policy analyst with experience in statistical programming and assorted other technical areas. In theory I’m absolutely employable, but I can’t make my mind cooperate with the steps I need to take to actually get employed.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the support. I do have friends to talk to, and family to an extent, although they’re thousands of miles away and going through some troubles of their own. </p>
<p>I know I need to concentrate on getting better, but unless I find some other kind of work after this temp thing ends I won’t be able to pay rent past December, and if it does take much longer I’m not sure how I’ll explain the résumé gap. </p>
<p>You may not end up in the career you envisioned, but what may happen in five years or more from now shouldn’t be your focus. It sounds like you had some family issues too. Support groups specifically for the newly single may help you.</p>
<p>Also, what about a local alumni group? The Ivy alumni groups tend to be active. </p>
<p>If it takes longer, it takes longer. You don’t have much control over that part. The resume gap is less important than you imagine it to be. Most of us have gaps, or employment spots where we are doing something “off topic” . At least it proves we know how to work, and how to keep going. That’s not nothing.</p>
<p>Rent is a real issue, no denying that. But if you can pay through December, that gives you 10 weeks for something to turn up. Keep looking, keep your eyes open. You have a lot to worry about, but concentrate on the parts you can control. And Denise is right – hooray for knowing you need some help, and feel overwhelmed. Personally I find it useful to get outside, incorporate some movement into my day. Don’t forget to eat and rest, too.</p>
<p>Job hunting is horrible. I’ve done it more times than I want to have to remember. I can completely empathize with your difficulties in getting your mind to cooperate with the steps needed to get/stay employed. Just keep on plugging away at it. Eventually something will turn up.</p>
<p>Do get in touch with your local alumni group, and consider networking with the DC area Ivy Singles group <a href=“http://www.ivysinglesdc.com/”>http://www.ivysinglesdc.com/</a> They do a lot of fun stuff, and you never know who you might meet there who might know someone who knows someone who knows something useful for you in your job hunt.</p>
<p>Deep breaths. Literally.
It sounds like you’ve already taken some very big steps on a personal level to help yourself. It sounds so trite but seeking help is a big first step.
Big virtual hugs to you. You are not alone. Call whomever is closest to you or even not close to you (but open) and unload. CC is good but talk to somebody in person. A human voice makes a difference.</p>
<p>Get out and exercise–now. Keep moving. Be brave and ask your neighbor to walk with you. Make a new friend.
You’re smart enough for Ivy league–be brave enough to gather the social network around you.
You need some friends or at least acquaintances. That’s your new job. Look up local clubs–hobbies, interests, school volunteering, hospitals–join something that requires your presence. They’ll love to have you and you benefit also. Don’t underestimate the value of chatting with the grocery clerk who doesn’t know you at all.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about how long therapy could take etc. Worry that if you DON’T take the steps toward health that things could go darker. Don’t initially jump into medication–it’s not always the answer and has significant drawbacks. I’m not saying don’t take meds if you need them (they are very useful) but try other avenues first.</p>
<p>And–you need a longer term view…you are self admittedly employable. Great! You have a lots of things stacked in your favor. You feel doubtful about your ability to do a particular job–but those are YOUR doubts which amounts to a crisis in self-confidence which has nothing to do with your actual ability to do a job. Not that this affects your feelings–it’s only meant to point out how others see your situation.</p>
<p>I have nothing to add to what others have said, but know that you are employable. Your first step is to feel better and get better. Employment will follow.</p>
<p>This is an odd suggestion, but it might work: Outsource your job search to a family member or willing friend. If the Achilles Heel at the moment is your ability to do the job search, see if someone else will look for a job for you. Once there are interviews, you can take over. — I’m am now working on performing this service for two people in my life who are not functioning at their highest at the moment. I believe that the right new job would be the key to their recovery. They’re very willing to take interviews. </p>
<p>Also, prepare to call yourself a consultant in your field if you don’t have that new full-time gig by January. </p>
<p>Do you need to move to be near family? It’s okay if you do.</p>
<p>A lot of times people find that they have ranged far away and really miss the support system of having family nearby. There is nothing wrong with that if that is the case.</p>
<p>With your education and background, you are clearly employable. What you might need right now is people who really love you. If so, don’t let pride get in the way of moving home. Sometimes, when we find ourselves with nothing in a certain place, it’s a sign we are free to move someplace else.</p>
<p>Just make sure if you do move, you are moving towards something and not just running away.</p>
<p>Anyway, hang in there. This is something adults face sometimes, and you are probably handling it better than you think. Just the fact that you know you want some help is a sign you have some perspective. Hugs.</p>
<p>Is staying with your family for a few months a possibility? I would hope my kids they could always come back for awhile, relax, and get it all together. Preferably not forever, but for as long as it took.</p>
<p>After the 2008 gloom and doom, employers are much more forgiving about resume gaps, so please do not think that a short gap would be career killing. Relax, take a few deep breaths. Easier said than done, I know. Hang in there!</p>
<p>I’m so thankful for all the support and suggestions. I don’t have time to write a proper reply before work but know how much I appreciate it.</p>
<p>I have a standing invitation to move “home” if I really feel like I can’t make it, but “home” is overseas (not where I grew up) and my parents very recently separated. It might alleviate some worries but it would introduce more.</p>
<p>I do think I can implement some of the other suggestions.</p>
<p>I can’t hold my thoughts steady long enough to compose a cover letter.</p>
<p>–</p>
<p>I’ll bet you $5 bucks you have some kind of simple health issue going on – low iron, low/high thyroid, vitamin D deficiency, etc. Any chance of getting a blood panel work up? You can have it done out of pocket at some blood draw clinics if you don’t have insurance.
Review your other physical symptoms - do you have insomnia, tiredness, shortness of breath, heavy periods, donate blood, etc.</p>
<p>@scholarme, I’m not sure I agree with you. OP just mentioned ““home” is overseas (not where I grew up) and my parents very recently separated.” Both of these are BFDs and their emotional impact should not be underestimated.</p>
<p>A lot of times depression/anxiety is a symptom rather than just a thing by itself. If you are healthy you can cope with stress a lot better. The “can’t focus enough to write a cover letter” sounds very like a physical thing.</p>
<p>OP, don’t be afraid to pursue therapy and/or medication for fear that it will take too long or it won’t work. It certainly won’t work if you don’t try. And both approaches can be extremely helpful. Talk to your health insurer about your options. Ask your friends for therapist referrals–that’s how I found my therapist, after knowing that I needed therapy for a long time but worrying that I would waste time with a dud therapist. </p>
<p>Try to make a call or search your health insurer’s website today.</p>
<p>Best of luck. There is help for you: you will feel better, and probably soon.</p>
<p>I disagree. While it is always good to have regular health screenings, I think you know yourself well enough to recognize depression reappearing.</p>