Let’s remember too, about attorneys. They usually aren’t bastions of truth and justice. People often mistakenly think their job is honesty and integrity. Nope. They aren’t supposed to be. Their job is to give legal advice and to then be an advocate for their client. They are hired by one party in a divorce to help that one party in a divorce. They are not hired to assess fairness.
To do their job well, they do whatever it takes legally to help their client. Moral rights and wrongs are not their obligation, and in fact, might get in the way of helping their client.
To needle someone incessantly may not really be to get information. To only ask- “why do they keep asking questions we’ve already answered” is terribly naive. It may merely be a tactic to wear the other party down in hopes of getting a better deal.
I have heard a houspainter as an analogy. A guy can hire a painter to paint his house. He wants his house to look good, to be improved, to shine as a lovely beacon in the neighborhood. He hires a guy he thinks can do the job. How his neighbor’s home looks after the job is not the housepainter’s concern.
It is reasonable to expect a “full accounting” to be provided in a divorce proceeding. If his wife has questions about certain expenditures then he should answer them in writing. Then she cannot claim afterwards that he has not provided the answers or continue to badger him with regard to those same issues.
A “full accounting” is fair. But a careful reading of the OP indicates most questions being asked now are repeating what has already been asked and answered in a deposition. It isn’t just a “full accounting” to repeat what’s already been answered and recorded.
Yes, the questions were, according to the cheating spouse, asked and answered in the deposition. But what were the specific questions and what were the answers. Perhaps these questions deal with the same matters but ask for more specific details.
If everything financially really is on the up and up, why not just fire off the same information, and have the attorney add a line that this is information already requested and received on this date? If they want more details, give them the details. It doesn’t have to be a major, time consuming ordeal, if they already have the information. This is just secretarial work. Sure, it’s annoying, but seems easy enough to just keep sending it if he must. Doesn’t sound any worse than a refinance. They ask for the same information you already sent, lose what you did send, so you keep copies and just keep giving them what they ask for.
An annoyance, but so what? I’m sure the girlfriend was a major annoyance to the wife!
If the specific questions were “asked and answered” already in a depo then just answer them with “see deposition of June 14, 2015.”
If the wife wasn’t there with him, it is perfectly reasonable for her to wonder if he was there with this or a prior GF , spending money on her. (If the wife had a gigolo, I bet he’d be looking into her expenditures, too.) Why should she assume his good faith? He has already proven that he is dishonorable.
Did I miss it… are we sure that this girlfriend came before the divorce? I’m just curious because everyone else seems to see something I don’t (and I have no doubt that I’m just missing it!)
Romani, in the vast majority of such cases, as practice shows, there is usually a girlfriend (or two or three or N) before the divorce.
Hope the wife got her health checked out and got tested for all sorts of Vs. I’m not kidding.
What happens if a spouse is caught in a lie about financial assets after the divorce is finalized? I know in bankruptcy it is a crime. In a civil divorce can the agreement be reopened?
“In the letter were dozens of questions like what was this credit card charge made in San Diego on Feb 23 2002?”
I don’t see the problem. I’m assuming there is a forensic accountant involved and he or she is trying to piece together what was spent on the girlfriend, so that it gets taken off the top before any split of assets? If it were me, you’re darn right I’d want to make sure whether that restaurant charge in San Diego on Feb 23, 2002 was for the bimbo or not.
Post #29, I’ve heard on radio that a wife managed to caught her husband’s lies and were able to get money redistributed. But it took years, almost 10 years after the divorce to discover the proofs.
The friend that I referenced above discovered fraud post-divorce. She considered very carefully what to do and found that in our state, the only recourse would involve criminal charges and possible disbarment. Her kids would have never forgiven her, so she ultimately accepted a settlement from him much less than what he stole from her didnt have him held accountable. Her kids were more important, but a couple of years later he pulled some stunts on the now adult children. No one would ever have thought he was capable of these things,
^ That’s what we all thought about my sister’s ex, too. But he proved himself perfectly capable of doing all sorts of mindboggling things - including “divorcing” his children.
My friend’s husband ambushed his daughter at his parents’ 50th anniversary party with his mistress and her daughter, whom he called his daughter’s new sister. The daughter is fragile and was so hysterical that she vomited right on him. Poetic justice.
I found this an interesting thread as the OP never stated his friend was having an affair but this was the belief of the wife.
Sadly for some couples the divorce is only over once the war is over when they have crushed the enemy and the other person is destroyed. Many husbands have found this to be true as they face charges of harming their own children. It seems certain lawyers will advise the wives to file restraining orders based on false charges to harm the husbands. Of course there are husbands who would willing leave their ex wives and children homeless and destitute.
“My friend’s husband ambushed his daughter at his parents’ 50th anniversary party with his mistress and her daughter, whom he called his daughter’s new sister. The daughter is fragile and was so hysterical that she vomited right on him. Poetic justice…”
Serves him right.
My niece bumped into her father on the subway a few years ago. She approached him and said maybe they could have coffee some day. He said, “I don’t think so.” Who does such a thing?!?
But he is getting what he deserves. He has a beautiful grandson who he has never met and will never meet.
And his parents divorced his children, too!
The OP wrote as if the GF existed, and did not contradict that impression.
The OP gave some history. Friend has an overseas business. Wife believe there is a GF and the overseas business was a front to pay for this GF.
No where did @dstark say the GF was real and the wife was correct about an affair.
Reread post #11.
Or believe that the wife is simply a crazy vengeful you know what. I’m sure the husband wold happily endorse that view.