LOL, busdriver!
Weird… This thread attracts bridal lingerie ads from Nordstrom on my screen - what the… (due to other stuff I have to do on this machine, I can’t have ad blockers).
Uh oh, maybe those ads are telling you something. You know those cookies, they follow you wherever you go. At least you’re not getting ads for porn or cough, cough…enhancements!
LOL ok fair enough.
Neither of us are the cheating type. I think we’re both WAY too lazy to cheat. (Check back with me in 10-20 years.)
Laziness can be a good thing! I didn’t think you were the cheating type, either.
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From this thread I’ve learned that we’re already doing everything wrong in my marriage
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lol…unless each of you is already snaking around and spending money on secret lovers, you’re probably still on the right path. Best wishes.
Well, heck, they’ve only been married all of nine days or something.
It was a joke… And I was referring to the posts immediately preceding mine which were talking about involving lawyers before marriage and even not getting married.
Jokes aside, no one goes into any marriage (or, indeed, long-term relationship) preferring to think about the “what ifs,” but that is what life lessons are intended to convey. The trick is actually taking lessons when one sees the lesson being played out before one’s eyes (among family, friends and colleagues) and taking realistic and smart steps accordingly.
@romanigypsyeyes , Congratulations on your new marriage and best wishes for a lifetime of happiness!
Thank you, AM.
We’re both very laid back and realistic. We’re also both starting with nothing other than student debt.
I think we’re also in an interesting generation because we saw so many of our friends’ parents to through nasty divorces and how that affected our friends. I don’t know how that’ll affect anything when my generation starts divorcing but it has definitely led my spouse and me to very candid conversations. Of course that’s all speculation in peace time.
I also had great role models in how to co parent while divorced from my dad and sister’s bio mom. Growing up, I was often over at my sister’s mom’s house and she and her brothers were with us. We even all vacationed together and whatnot.
It’s a different thread, of course, but many of us who went through divorces got remarried again. Some call that the victory of hope over experience, but I like to think actual hard lessons were learned about picking a partner, realistic expectations/communication and how a marriage really works.
@romanigypsyeyes , It’s like a social experiment, isn’t it?
In my own extended family alone and looking back a couple of generations, I have seen a small sampling of courtship, marriage, fidelity/infidelity, mistresses, divorce, remarriage, adoptions and various combinations thereof. All too often, despite whatever human strengths and failings seems to be at play, money looms large for the simple reason that it is an essential ingredient and a very powerful tool for good and bad. That’s not a value judgment on my part, but a practical statement.
I have a cousin who is divorced. Her ex-husband is the trustee of a 7-figure trust established by his late mother for, among other things, “the education” of her grandchildren. Not an uncommon practice, and certainly one that many of us might be willing to do to ensure such a good thing long after we are dead. After all, it would keep that money from being squandered or, horrors, be taken away in a divorce by the shrew ex-wife of her precious son.
Upon divorce, cousin is helpless to know what exH is doing with the trust and has had to hire forensic accountants pre- and post-divorce to ascertain its terms. Because of the terms of the trust, she and exH each has to hire a neutral FA to conduct the examination and report back to their respective FAs. She is a working professional and took virtually nothing from the divorce just to get out. She tells me she has spent high 5-figures the past year alone in legal fees.
ExH wields his position as trustee as a carrot or stick with his own children and is suspected of making big withdrawals from the trust to buy a 2nd and 3rd house. ExH would not commit to the amount he would pay towards their D’s college tuition. My cousin is borrowing to send their D to the school she wants to attend. I doubt very much that’s what his mother intended.
Cousin and ExH met in college, started out “with nothing” but… As they say, the best laid plans…
Congratulations, Romani! For some reason I was thinking it was still coming up. Sometimes the days pass quicker than it seems.
Ha, thanks, bd. Did you want to see the pictures that I’ve sent out to many of my CC aunts and uncles?
Speaking of cheating, I’m getting State Farm ads…anyone wearing khakis?
CD, did you see the new State Farm ad with the alien version of that ad? It really, really creeped me out!
I love that State Farm ad with the wife in the bathrobe – she plays that part perfectly.
YES!!
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I love that State Farm ad with the wife in the bathrobe – she plays that part perfectly.
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I never tire of that ad…
“She sounds hideous!”
“Ha, thanks, bd. Did you want to see the pictures that I’ve sent out to many of my CC aunts and uncles?”
YES, me too!
And even if you wore sweatpants instead of a dress (oh, I’m sure you didn’t), you know I’d think you’d look beautiful anyways.
I did wear a dress! Though I’ve gained about 3 dress sizes in the last year but that’s OK. I am who I am and food is better than fitting into an arbitrary size 
I will send you them. @CountingDown did you not get the pictures I sent before?