<p>Cathymee, if it’s a Jewish ceremony, perhaps they are trying to have the ceremony before Shabbat, since their alternative would be starting the ceremony Saturday night after sundown (or Sunday)?</p>
<p>Our ceremony was at 4:30 on a Thursday. Talk about weird! However, it was the Thursday before Christmas, and since many folks were still in college/celebrated the holiday, we wanted them to be able to come to the wedding on their way home for the holidays rather than making a separate trip. In retrospect, I would have changed the date – our anniversary and my birthday are four days apart, and Hanukkah generally overlaps, too. However, my insurance coverage ran out on my 23rd birthday, so we had to get married before then!</p>
<p>Reflectivemom,
DS2’s friends all still talk about his party, and it’s been 2 1/2 years now. We ordered camouflage hats from O.T. and the kids STILL wear them. (DS2 is a big military history buff, as are a number of his pals.) I would not recognize one of his friends without the hat – his mom tells me she washes it with the llingerie because it’s falling apart – but he refuses to part with it!</p>
<p>We gave both kids the option to have a party at a restaurant, hotel, etc., and they turned it down. Weird Al, Monty Python and poker prevailed.</p>
<p>We were at a function recently and a couple of parents were talking about how much the families had spent on B/M parties. Some were as much as a year’s private college tuition! (Don’t these folks have to think about college bills?) DS2 was also at the table and he was thunderstruck. I’m convinced he thought I just made up those stories until he heard it from other adults… </p>
<p>The expense for the B/M tutor was about 1/3 of our total B/M budget. Best money I ever spent. We started a couple of months earlier than usual and the guys both learned to trope so they can now pick up any portion and read it (and continue to chant at services regularly). The mentor is one of the finest human beings I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and he is a continuing role model to my kids. But I digress…</p>
<p>For those wanting more Bridezilla stories, check out Carolyn Hax, whio is an advice columnist for the Washington Post and is syndicated in many other markets. Her online chats (available onthe Post website) have stories that will make your hair curl…</p>
<p>Zoosermom, I think it’s time to get your sister involved. Borrowing their room is a terrific idea. The grandmother of the groom should get a special corsage, too! If she needs any other accommodations (large print, amplifier, ramp), you should speak up about that, too. We didn’t realize our synagogue had amplifiers (to attach to a hearing aid) when DS1 was a Bar Mitzvah, but by the time DS2 rolled around, we had arranged for them for my FIL, and it gave him so much joy to be able to clearly hear DS2 chant. He kvelled all day!</p>
I have no idea what trope is, but this sounds lovely. So often with BMs, weddings, Confirmations, etc. the elaborate party details obscure the significance of the celebration or sacrament.</p>
<p>counting down
nope,its not a jewish ceremony (H’s family…grooms father…ex NY’er is lapsed Catholic,grooms mom and brides family , and it seems everyone in this part of Minnesota are Lutherans or evangelicals of some sort (about an hour southeast of Minneapolis) they also all have blond hair.</p>
<p>StickerShock, *trope<a href=“or%20cantillation”>/I</a> is the melody that goes along with chanting. There are little notations throughout the text when printed in a book to indicate the various notes, rhythms and emphasis placed on each syllable in the Torah and the reading from the Prophets. (The trope is not written into the Torah scroll - neither are vowels - so the person chanting half-memorizes it.) It was first developed when the Torah and the Prophets were read aloud in the public markets so that all could hear, even though they couldn’t read. It was, in effect, the first oral punctuation. It indicate ends of sentences and the fancier trope indicate the most important words.</p>
<p>We also hired a bat mitzvah tutor who taught my d trope. He also had previously taught my H and me trope, so H and I also chanted a portion.</p>
<p>I’m still bothered by the money thing. I guess I should get over it, but I don’t like this practice of shaking down guests for expenses. I believe people should plan a wedding they can afford. Sometimes the simpler, the better.</p>
<p>I haven’t read the whole thread but a $500 donation to cover the reception? Whatever happened to self-reliance? Imnsvho, folks have no business throwing a bash that they can’t fund themselves. Tacky, tacky, tacky…so tacky I’d die of embarrassment.</p>
<p>ZM, if you need someone to snarl on your behalf, I’d be happy to do it for you pro bono. I’d give you references but I think you’re already familiar with my work.</p>
<p>===</p>
<p>I have no idea about the logistics…to <em>me</em> it really sounded as if go to the wedding, leave a gift, skip the reception would be the best of unhappy compromises.</p>
<p>“ZM, if you need someone to snarl on your behalf, I’d be happy to do it for you pro bono. I’d give you references but I think you’re already familiar with my work.”</p>