<p>How big of a deal are family/parents weekends? Is it a huge problem if parents can’t be there?</p>
<p>I think it depends on the school. Probably a bigger deal not to go at a small LAC than at a large state.</p>
<p>I agree with zagat. At Rhodes it would have been awkward for my D not to have us there that first year. Now, some kids’ parents weren’t there and they were making it just fine, but …our attendance at the couple of functions we made it to (a sing program and a comedy night, maybe one more) was appreciated. (The rest of the time was spent shopping for clothes.:eek:)</p>
<p>I don’t think it would be a big deal at UTexas.</p>
<p>I don’t think we’ll make it every year on parent’s weekend but we will visit.</p>
<p>My parents never came to a parent’s weekend. I don’t think the size of the school should matter. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it! Your S/D will have made at least one friend with parent’s visiting that will take him/her under their wings for the weekend. </p>
<p>I actually met my fiance’s parents during a parent’s weekend (ended up coinciding with his 18th birthday). We weren’t dating at the time (started a week later, I recall), and I met his parents and younger sister. My younger sister was visiting me as well, so we all went around to museums (his parents did treat us to a few meals too, can’t complain there!).</p>
<p>Depends on the school. My kids are at small schools but pretty different. Since the majority live out of state (92%!)at daughters school many parents don’t attend parents weekend but the school does a great job of having activities for parents to do when kids are busy and the two times we were out for 'rents weekend my daughter did have papers to write and deadlines to meet. When we went out on an alternative weekend (she’s in a comedy improv group) she had schoolwork to do and we had to come up with our own alternatives. I enjoyed interacting with the other parents too. This year our visit will be for Graduation instead of parents weekend.</p>
<p>For my son’s college, if I hadn’t shown up he would have been one of the few kids of his freshman friends that didn’t have parents there. It was fun - laid back but organized. There were lots of things to pick and choose from. We went on a short hike on the Appalchian trail, there was a music performance, talks about study abroad, free lunch, we went out for dinner with a 4 friends and their parents, went to church together. Frankly after hearing my son describe college as “fine, yeah I like it”, I needed to see his new world for myself. I would suggest trying to get a hotel reservation that is refundable and then deciding later. It’s certainly okay to skip it, I just know we liked the ones we went to.</p>
<p>We went, but as soon as we got there, we needed to turn around and go home for a family health emergency. We did see our son for an hour, but missed everything. I felt terrible about it, but my son was fine (at least he pretended not to be bothered by us leaving, and was somewhat, but not overly concerned about the emergency). Other families took him under their wing. We did go back 2 weeks later to see our son, but he was not really interested in our being there. He wanted to do things on campus with his friends. We understood, but we did drive 6 hours in each direction, and he really was only somewhat okay about eating dinner out.</p>
<p>I never made it to a parents’ weekend, and my kids didn’t care a bit. They both attend(ed) big schools, and Parents’ Weekend didn’t seem to be that big a thing. We just didn’t have the money, and our kids understood. (Actually, I don’t think they would have cared even if we HAD been able to afford it.)</p>
<p>My son and most of his friends came home parents weekend…go figure. All the parents ended up canceling their hotel reservations.</p>
<p>kathiep, has a good point about hotels. Around the school my son attends, the hotels book very quickly. They begin taking reservations about 2-3 weeks after the family weekend,for the next year (as soon as the date is released)! Many really increase the hotel rates to such a degree that you will raise an eyebrow. Also, many do want to keep a nice sum if you need to cancel last minute, and believe me, there are plenty of families looking for rooms that weekend! We have our reservations in place already, and we booked last autumn. We found a place that was still within reason, and only has a small penalty for a last minute change in reservations.</p>
<p>zooser, if $ for flights or getting off work are your issues, you could do what we did – send a sibling.</p>
<p>My S had an absolute ball visiting his sister for family weekend her freshman year. Definitely got him started thinking about colleges!</p>
<p>By soph year, when DH & I went, it seemed to be less ‘required’ to have someone come. Lots of kids did not have any parents. (They ate with us!)</p>
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<p>Glad someone’s sibling had fun! My sister came for my freshman parents weekend (as I stated earlier). The whole time was her complaining that I wasn’t taking her to parties! Grrrr…like I would take my then 16 year old sister to a house party! Pft…museums and walking around town with my friends wasn’t enough…oh well, we are friends now! ;)</p>
<p>Ophiolite, my older sister always took me to parties when I visited, even on days when I was tired from the trip and didn’t want to go! </p>
<p>It you really can’t make it, then don’t worry about it, but I think you should try to go if you can. I went to see my sister at family weekend last year (she was not a freshman), and one of her friends was really upset because her family couldn’t make it. We went out to dinner with all of her friends, their parents, and the girl whose parents didn’t come, but I think she still felt a little left out. My best friend’s parents couldn’t come for parents weekend this year (I’m a first year), and she was a little depressed but had other friends whose parents couldn’t come and went out to dinner with us. You should try to find out how big a deal it is at her school and, next year, whether her friends’ parents are coming. Even if she’s a little sad for the weekend, she’ll get over it if you can’t come. Instead, maybe send her a nice care package to arrive for the weekend.</p>
<p>H & I skipped Parents’ Weekend because it was too soon after moving in - couldn’t justify a 2nd cross-country flight in one month. Instead, we will be making visits this winter, when D has missed us more (yea, right,) when hotels are cheaper and the U doesn’t know parents (i.e. wallets) are in town for the taking. ;)</p>
<p>Most kids I know didn’t care unless they were in a big performance that weekend. Otherwise, it makes more sense to visit another time. The hotels will be cheaper, restaurants will be less crowded, and you aren’t competing with other sets of parents to take your kid and her friends out to dinner.</p>
<p>Having a kid that’s not a great communicator, going to Parents’ Day gave me a lot of comfort…I finally had a chance to learn what classes are like and get all my questions answered by other students as well as faculty & administrators. Did my kid care I was there? I don’t think so. He did give me a tour of campus and we went out to dinner, but during dinner I saw him start to look at his watch and so I asked if he had something to do. Sure enough he wanted to go watch anime with his new friends. So much for mom. But I was so glad to see he had a life without me. Parents Day at my son’s school is only for freshmen parents, maybey because its such a small school(about 200 freshmen). If I hadn’t gone I’d still be ok and my son probably wouldn’t have even noticed my absence, but I would have missed the opportunity to find out more about his new life. I think though if I had a son who was more talkative I might not have needed to go to Parents’ Day.</p>