<p>Sorry guys but I have to laugh. With my D, best way to proceed was just keeping my head down and trying not to kill her. Once she got competent enough to run her own life things improved. She just couldn’t tolerate not being her own boss. As a small one everyone was sorry for me with my headstrong D. As a teenager, since she could drive and make phone calls, she became exemplary - since she got such a parade from the world for her high school performance in academics and ballet we never had to have rules at all.</p>
<p>She is still a pistol - heaven help anyone who gets in her way. I recommend, if you have this kind of a D, strap on the armor, buckle yourself into your seat, and just make sure she knows it’s her job to take care of you when you get old. Then make sure she has a firm understand of the behavior the world rewards and the ability to delay gratification. The rest takes of itself. If, as I said, you don’t kill her first. ;)</p>
<p>Cheers, yelling “Bravo!” at the end is lost among all the other Bravo!s and applause. Only soloists get individual applause/recognition. But learning to deal with the Casting Fairy is a part of the process.</p>
<p>If financially possible, and she has the interest, get her some horse riding lessons. Yes, this is coming from a life-long rider, but I’ll always remember overhearing a dad talking to another dad about how he knows that if his daughter can control a 1,200lb animal she’ll be just fine with a 200lb guy.</p>
<p>As a rider, it gives me confidance in other aspects of my life. Often you have to treat people just like horses (lol), and it’s an excellent way to learn how to guage how much you need to push and hold your ground to get your way. If you can learn to stay on a bucking horse, and slow a run away, even if no one else knows, when in a difficult situation you can say to yourself, “I can make a horse jump when I say jump and stop when I say stop–I can handel whatever happens.” (I don’t like to think of riding as JUST that, but pure controle is deffinetly a major aspect of it).</p>
<p>plus it’s fun.</p>
<p>Also, if you get into yelling matches, just remember that if she’s strong enough to stand up to her parents she’ll be strong enough to stand up to anyone.</p>
<p>Be the designated driver for all of her and her friends social forays. Yes, it’s annoying to be picking up from the movies at 11:30 at night but you will learn so much on those car rides: you’ll know all her friends, you’ll overhear amazing conversations (some of them actually intellectually stimulating) but keep your mouth shut on the ones that make your jaw drop. It’s like a secret passage into the teen and pre-teen world.</p>
<p>When she does tell you something in confidence and asks you not to tell, respect that. The very worst thing is to have her tell you something and then you tell a friend and all of a sudden it gets back to her. But when you respect that confidence, she’ll be so much more inclined to keep confiding in you and maybe, just maybe, eventually even - hold on to your hats! - ask your advice.</p>
<p>Be a presence. Be there. It’s very easy sometimes to let mom run the show and dad take a backseat but she needs to know there’s a very visible, involved dad.</p>
<p>Just the fact that you’re here on CC asking for advice tells me you’ll be great. Obviously, you care greatly about being a good dad and that’s the most important thing.</p>
<p>I’m a mom but I think this applies to both dads and moms: I know I’ve made mistakes with my kids - not because I didn’t love them but because I didn’t know any better. I’ve tried to make the love I give them be more than the mistakes I’ve made.</p>
<p>Don’t be afraid to admit you’ve made a mistake. Some men (and women but I think more of a male characteristic) have a very difficult time admitting they’re wrong. Our children need to know that it’s okay to make a mistake - nobody’s perfect.</p>
<p>Everyone here has posted good advice, but don’t forget to have a life of your own. It wouldn’t be a good idea for a girl to think that her dad is living his life for her. Might create co-dependence issues for her later on in life.</p>
<p>I like the idea about having talks early, so it isn’t about one boy, one activity, or one friend. (Same theme here with financial aid, or anything: your kids are a million times better off if they know what the rules of the game are before playing.)</p>
<p>Like the idea of limiting cell use. My parents NEVER monitored my calls, but would chat with whomever called - “Hey Jane, how are you? Congrats on making band. How’s the hubby doing? Great, here’s Aries.”</p>
<p>I know, I know, I’m an internet addict - but am convinced that “no internet until homework is done” can be great for keeping kids on track.</p>
<p>Enforcing some semblance of a bed time. Younger kids need more sleep than high schoolers.</p>
<p>As a child randomly reading this thread, I just wanted to second the advice to attend your child’s events as much as possible. I’m in a lot of shows, and my parents aren’t huge theatre people… and it hurts everytime they complain about another show, or another performance. Luckily, my dad (who I am quite close to) realized that it’s important to me, and he now makes an effort to attend as many shows as possible.</p>
<p>Dawn, I think attending performances, facilitating getting to/from practices/rehearsals/auditions is very important. </p>
<p>In the beginning, I knew nothing about ballet and couldn’t tell you the difference between a plie and a pipe wrench except that I would have recognized a pipe wrench if I saw one.</p>
<p>It worked out such that I regard ballet as a gift that our daughter gave us.</p>